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Saturday, June 01, 2002
i think kat is coming today but i havent heard from her. marlon got alcohol poisoning and has been sick for days. i've been giving him backrubs like i was mary magdelene herself. it's kinda nice taking care of someone outside of myself for a moment. i havent had anyone since ive been here.
oh, and i went on my final wild drug goose chase yesterday for a very long time. i cant play that game anymore. it drains too much energy and takes too damn long of my precious time. things are going to be very different when i get back to school i think. oh man, nothing's going to be the same.
a hungarian has come. i loved him from the minute i saw him. he was still drunk at about noon, but managed to maintain that unique hungarian humor. im gonna talk to him tonight. he's old, i dont love him like that. anyway, i already got me a lover. speaking of, he has been inquiring kelly when you are coming down. he thinks you need to come and see the doctor. hands off. oh, shit, whatever, hands on, i cant withhold him or anyone from getting a piece of that sexual healing. it's alllllll good. if i told you what his last name is, you would laugh out loud.
that's all for now. just wanted to say peace to the family. call and write you bad kids! love you all!
posted by vic
@ 16:30
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Midlothian
posted by rayve nation
@ 12:39
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Friday, May 31, 2002
call me now steph! im gonna be home all day, all night, i think.
i guess i dont have anything to say really at the moment.
i got a bust-ass job that starts on monday washing dishes and carrying heavy things. oh, the dump dream comes back to haunt me kell!
everything is going beautifully, each moment so fulfilling. it only takes a few people, on the same wave at the same time to do major change in this world. that is what the revolution is going to be. i talked to a painter all night two days ago and he says he thinks it's coming too. we were sitting on the porch swing and everybody was outside. evrey night glows and every day heals.
cant take my eyes off of you is playing right now steph. the oldschool version, im thinking of you.
"you'd be like heaven to touch" he told me i had healing hands yesterday. i put all my love into it. i will put all my love into everything.
im going to have to change my major when i get back to school. i am going to have to design my own. i cant be bothered with reading untruths. i want to major in spiritual revolution.
i hope all of you are opening your hearts to feel all of this good, good loving. i'll talk to you all soon. i love you.
posted by vic
@ 14:43
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Wednesday, May 29, 2002
Vicki, when can I call you?! Everything has been falling into place and I didn't even know it, but it is somehow connected to your matters clearing up, you being in New Orleans while I'm in Montreal, a head connection and the 6th sense. I have to talk to you now.
I really love all of you.
posted by Record Album
@ 21:03
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My head's gone to pieces. I'm having delirious manic tendencies and I love it! And then I hate it! Ha ha. Anyways, my intelligent brain was on fire in a bad way as the lazy fluid encompassing it was starting to take over. Micro-economics may have just smothered me. "Monopolistic competition blah blah scrawl scribble" and then I went to the bookstore to see if this boy was there, and now I have to go send out some strong vibes his way, and I don't know if he's getting them, although I really feel like he is. Oh my fucking god, all the sudden I think I know why I've been all hot and bothered. It's because someone has been thinking about me and I'm feeling it. I fucking swear it! I've solved the equation! The palm reader (who I keep referencing) said that I definitely had a 6th sense, which I would believe simply on the basis of my mother and grandmother definitely having 6th senses. Someone has been thinking about me....maybe as much as I have been thinking about them. Really not a lot, but intensely. This humidity is sitting in my lungs like drops of water. Better than nicotine, which I have mostly ceased doing. I have to go run and love. And to the lady in New Orleans, I say
"it's easy to live when you're in love..." Billie Holiday
But I really do wonder if I'm picking up messages from the universe.
posted by Record Album
@ 17:27
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Stephanie, call me as soon as you can hang out. i want to see U so bad!!!! (I can help you move into your new place if ya want) And dittle on that skittle. hot fun in the summertime, baby!!! oh my.....
In other news, I might be a camp counselor this summer. Yes, laugh all you want, but I think you all underestimate how good I am at pretending I like children. (Anyway, I'd be more of a lifeguard than a counselor)
In other not so good news, I applied to Blockbuster again. However, I might not work there for long anyway. That lame used cd store by best buy (remember vic??) needs new employees to work evenings and weekends. you think I should give it a shot, vic?
just got the new breeders album. Kim Deal is such a weirdo...
posted by rayve nation
@ 17:05
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something has happened. i realized the story of my life last night and wrote down a brief introduction. everything has come together. it all fits perfectly and is realized. i am in awe. i am so in awe i dont know what to do with myself but spread love. i've been healed. oh my god, im healing. i want to post what i wrote but it will take too long. maybe i will go to the library and email it to you. i dont know if anyone would be interested. it's so personal.
this wound, this aching wound is finally healing. what a day to realize that i am alright.
i figured it all out watching harry potter high. the movie was so poorly edited that all i could do was go somewhere else in my head. i went way back and saw the light and for once everything clicked without me having to lament for all the sides that i hold inside. i am not so split as i thought. there is a way. there is a way.
i listened to yo la tengo with adam in my car at dawn looking up through the sunroof. he played me the psychic tvs. he was so nervous because he doesnt play it for other people. we sat in silence and listened. i had just finished writing the story and it had rained. we listened in the slick streets of dawn.
i have had the most beautiful day of my life. i have had the most beautiful life. all of these layers are turning from torn pages to flower petals. the unfurling is as easy as spring.
i love you all. i have no idea how to explain myself. i just love you so much.
posted by vic
@ 16:59
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Tuesday, May 28, 2002
Baby it's the summertime, and I want man, stat! What else is new though. I found a way home, and I'll be in Chicago with bells on Saturday. Tomorrow I ace my micro-economics final and buy myself a short skirt. I've never really owned short skirts. (This conjures up the memory of vicki in a short pink and black skirt at this ukrainian jazz thing that I roped her/you into with the promise of "going to a bar" afterwards. Instead we ate cheesesticks with bitchy ukie girls at Leona's). Sister was just being herself and not answering calls---how well I know her. I really want to work at Jinx, but fear they'll be all "you're common" as I try to scream in protest "no! no! I've been homogenized!!!" Love you all
posted by Record Album
@ 14:52
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miss you guys a lot today. it's hot as fuck and i cant remember what i am supposed to be doing with my life. nothing but love for all of you. it's funny those days when everything sinks in and you just go back to being youself. eh, whaddya gonna do? well, im going to shower and go hassle jobs. peace out.
posted by vic
@ 13:59
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Monday, May 27, 2002
Sister may be missing, may just be a jackass. Moi, je may or may not fail micro-economics and die from smoking, which I hate. I love running. I don't know if I'll really ever get home to Chicago because of a few tickets mishaps. Then I call my mom who tells me "don't sweat the small stuff" and go study because she will find me a way home. I don't understand what the fuck is going on. Have to go study. Sending love rays your ways (har har har, but seriously folks). The palm reader said that I wasn't letting myself be loved.
posted by Record Album
@ 23:14
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Vicki if you want to get rid of your anxiety and worry, do what the palm reader told me to do: take deep breaths and put your thumbs at 45 degree angles and say some sort of mantra which I didn't pick up on. Saw a crush, a former one, who will be mine next year. How I would love to make-out with his little artsy singing self. Yow! I have so much fucking sexual energy pent up in me and I don't know what to do with it. It's hampering my micro-economics studying! I'm real hungry and have to pee so I'll be going now. But Larissa is coming to Chicago on Saturday which is also when I'll be going home. I need some hot fun in the summertime because carpal tunnel syndrome is gonna start hitting me hard. Love you. I realized I do have a lot of pent up anger--how do you get rid of that besides becoming a golden glove boxer?
Marisa--where do you live now? Cuz I'm gonna be on Superior and Leavitt--a block away from Tuman's.
posted by Record Album
@ 19:37
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marisa! call me! 504.822.9542!
wooooo..so laaaaaaaast night. yeah. im covered in bruises of unknown origin. i made out with nyu all over the place. i like the way the young ones kiss, you know, it's gotta little force behind it. i hit myself in the face with a cab door, i hope i dont get a shiner. went down to the quarter last night for the first time this trip. it was fun. im outta money but the government just came through so it's all good. job, yeah, that's coming. coming fast. im still drunk so it's not coming today. fuckin a', it's memorial day! i need a day off! said my piece to dr. feelgood. i was really drunk so i hope i said it right. im sure i did. it's so hard to talk to him cuz in my head im like sex and sex and sex and sex and sex! SHATTERED! at least my horrible day of self-hate ended in a bottle of rum, as well it should. i think nyu and i tried to make out in my car and we fell asleep. then the next thing i know, i was alll by myyyyyyyseeeelf and then the next thing i know it was now and i was in my bed with all my shit still all over it in my clothes with my wallet in my pocket. i always take care of that wallet. it's like washing my face every night. there's certain things that i have to do that in some way keep me from slipping into the street. that's dramatic, but it's true. it's a short walk here to completely gone. we were drinking bottles of rum in paper bags last night. i wanna sing so bad. it's all i want to do. how do i start? alright, that's the next thing im asking the universe. fuck that companion shit. well, dont fuck it completely, it's just on the back burner. talent first, inspiration next, then we'll see....
alright, i have to figure some way to sober up and take care of this slice on my eye. i cant believe i did that. my face! my beautiful face! hahahahahah....oh, behave.
posted by vic
@ 13:05
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Sunday, May 26, 2002
whoopsie. sorry about that interruption of service. my account was delinquent. now please, write on.
posted by marisa jo
@ 20:32
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eh, nothing much to report as of now. think im going to work for this froofy spa place, that or wash dishes with a bunch of soldiers (i think they mean like no-limit) and trannsexuals. i kinda like that better. plus, the irish kid is gonna get me that job and like my one crazy girlfriend says, that means that i'll have a connection to ireland. you know - if i take his job, it's like im taking his life. well....
i have to work the desk now. im somwehat pissed off and it's all my own fault. i had to learn that STUPID LESSON AGAIN! wait for no man, wait for no man, wait for no man, take care of yourself.
love you guys
posted by vic
@ 12:40
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