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Saturday, May 18, 2002
what is mike ray doing right now? he's at home on a saturday night listening to the soothing voice of stevie nicks on the stereo and surfin' the 'net. can you guys come home soon? im bored.
posted by rayve nation
@ 21:19
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i'm sitting in the library. i have thirty minutes to use the internet for free. it's a nice deal since the hostel internet machine is 1. not free and 2. broken and 3. at the hostel which i am tiring of quite quickly. nothing like a whole load of drunk wanderers to make me change my tune about free spirits. it's really just that im snobby and i vant to be alone. that and i am so damn tired of gazelle. jesus h., he's ridiculous! he says these blanket statements about men and women that appeal to the lowest common denominator of the status quo. he does it just to cover up a whole well of insecurites and ignorance. hey! gazelle - you're old! get over it, dude! and the sexomaphonist, well, at least he is honest about his intentions. yesterday i saw him running after the cat and he said, "you know me, always chasing pussy!" and then he laughed really hard. i can hear that, shit, if that's your bag. he isnt trying to fool anyone and that's a bit refreshing. when i told him that kelly was going to come with me but then she didn't, he said, "that's too bad, she coulda gotta piece too". so, for all you lady visitors, there's at least one good sure thing at the hostel. he thinks he's the greatest lover of all time, and he's pretty good, but he's not very howyousay, caring or attentive. he always ends with, "nothing but love, baby, nothing but love". i think that he may have love confused with another four letter word.
last night i had the greatest adventure of my life. nobody is going to believe this, and im not entirely sure how to explain it. around 11 i decided to go for a little drive by myself. i wanted to smoke a small spliff and listen to elliot smith's independence day. i had been sober since i got here and it hit me all at once. i made one wrong turn and found myself in the middle of hell. i crossed a train tracks and and ended up underneath an expressway soup bowl. the car in front of me turned into nowhere and i realized i was in a very, very bad place. i looked to my left and underneath the bridges was the silhouette of one man on a bended knee. what in the fuck!? it was a sight that will forever be burned behind my eyes. i dont even know if it was a statue, a hallucination or a ghost. why would one man be in the middle of this hellhole in the rain. i made a three-point turn and sped back down the road, almost missing my turn and skidding into the curb. high and scared! high and scared! by myself!
i was talking to myself out loud in a voice i have never heard before. an intense self-protection and determination for survival. i was repeating "just keep going, you have to get out of here right now, ok, keep going, you're alright, just move" over and over. as i got closer to canal i knew i was going to be okay. then the weird thing happened. i must have worked myself into a trance while i was talking to myself because i thought i turned right on canal but the next time i looked up i was at an intersection i didnt even know in the central business district, far away from where i had been coming from. did my car get picked up and moved into another place? did i fall into a wrinkle of time? did i die and get reborn? i have no idea what happened but something very strange did. there is no explanation as to why i ended up where i did. i didnt put myself there at all. then i pulled over and with my foot on the brake and the car in drive i read on the map how to get home. holy shit, it was nuts. learned a lesson: dont drive around here high by yourself at night. duh.
i wrote pages in my journal in the dark. im serious about this book. oh - and the job! looks really good. they said they would call me this weekend. everything's coming up milhouse!
love you all. email me - i would so love to get something!
posted by vic
@ 12:19
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Friday, May 17, 2002
ok! i still exist for sure, and blissfully at that. yesterday was fabulous. i went down to the quarter and hustled looking for jobs. i ran into the reverend john and talked to him for almost four hours. get this - he wants me to work double shifts with him reading cards! what!? oh my, this place is so amazing. i would love to do it, but it's so crazy. plus, this guy lives in the moment hard-core. who knows if he'll even remember tomorrow. today. met a really weird girl last night that i loved immediately. she's ooooout-there, but she's super interesting and fun to talk to. she's a wanderer and she kinda looks like one of those deal sisters. all further information will be found in my novel, which you can all pick up at your local bookstore in the future. just kidding! of course i'll give you all a copy! so, now i am off to go get my job at cafe maspero's. i went in yesterday and talked to the cook, who gazelle told me to see. the kitchen staff loved me immediately (no bra?) and the one lovable stoner told me to come back tomorrow and he'll get me "so high". hahahaha! off i go!
steph - if you dont want to go to chicago, you can always come to new orleans. do you feel it pulling? gravitate!
oh, and phone number and such coming soon, i swear.
love you all, hope all is well in your respective corners of the country and beyond.
posted by vic
@ 09:16
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Thursday, May 16, 2002
I need to get the fuck out of here and I don't want to go to Chicago. Fuck, do I not want to go back. I feel this unearthly pull taking me there while my heels drag on the ground and the flesh gets torn off. What I need right now is someone in my fucking bed that is fun. I need fun people around me pervading my every cell...RIGHT NOW! I have good people around me, some fun people, but I want everyone fun, lots of drinking, make-out, delirium, and titties. Well, the lots of tits is really satisfied by the current apartment. Be grateful for your showers ladies and gents, because I have to scoop out dirty bathwater to take a shower in mine. Love you all, peace out.
PS-I am intensely jealous of you vicki-give me a call if you still really exist.
posted by Record Album
@ 17:46
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okay. so im alive. im here. stayed with cousin lee in nashville. that was um, brief. for some reason, i am now a bit paranoid about the monster. i should stop that.
so, it's a fucking madhouse here as usual. i cant believe im doing this alone. it's insane. i forgot what it was like to be alone. it's kinda lonely and exciting at the same time. i just have to keep reminding myself that i only have to take care of me. im number one! im number one! anyway, im a moron and i still dont know the phone number here or the address. but you could get the address online - www.indiahousehostel.com
i went and skated around adouban park (sp?). one of the most annoying things so far has been that men are really patronizing to a woman alone. unlike new york, it's a mixture of somewhat concern mixed with domininat authority. in new york there was no concern. it was just ugly. right, so one half hour after i got here i was upstairs with a certain sexomophonist who is a little bit more ridiculous than i had previously given him credit for. he wanted to know if i had told my friends about him from last time. he inquired as to if they swooned when i said i had been with such a man. rrright...men are so funny. good lord, havent these people ever heard of gender performativity? you dont have to impress me! i already know we're all faking it!
off to get a job today, and a towel. the one thing i forgot. i have six different purses (i thought i was gonna be a fashion queen, but i forgot about survival) and no towel. i had to dry off with my grubby, smelly shirt.
it's hot and beautiful of course.
i will call all of you soon courtesy of mike ray's phone cards. love you all!
and jesus, come and visit soon. i can only be without my real friends for so long. updates soon.
fuck, i have to remember to eat. i need to get lunch.
oh, and the goddamn beer machine is gone as is cokehead ed for reasons that gazelle does not want to talk about. something about people not being able to go back to where they came from and how that should be a warning. shaaaady!
posted by vic
@ 11:37
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Tuesday, May 14, 2002
ok, well off i go. i'm going by myself now for reasons kelly could tell you if she so desires. so i have no idea what is going to happen. im excited and scared and dont really believe im doing this. i'll let you all know what's up in a few days. love you all!
posted by vic
@ 10:34
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Sunday, May 12, 2002
Michael Ray you've made my day! Let's have fun this summer---Ladyfest Midwest--does it still exist?
Last night we went out to bumblefuck to get Caribbean food it was pretty tasty. We got to ride in a sweet white sedan because this kid has a job as a driver for the G-8 summit. Strangely, they did no background checks on him, which means that anyone could have gotten the car, and a diplomat could have easily been sabotaged by activists. He himself was happy with the 200 bucks a day, and hoped it would be a young Italian female diplomat. Then we partied at my new place and my body revolted against my sorry ass. I made myself puke yet again, even though I wasn't that drunk, I just got the spins and I don't like getting drunk when I'm not moving around a lot. This is really just not healthy. Combined with cigarettes and caffiene, all my cells were all "what the fuck is your problem asshole, stop this nonsense!" I was dehydrated, too. That must have been the real kicker, because people really do much worse to their bodies than that simple trifold combo. But it was fun nonetheless---because my roomies are into scenes that are yet to be identified. (Electro I think) And have all these random friends which encompass people who I see on the street that go to McGill who I've been intrigued by---like the punky hot maybe gay (only because he is really fashionable) Indian kid I always see around. Strange...Alright I have to go get crackin' on several things.
posted by Record Album
@ 14:00
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i *heart* stephanie
posted by rayve nation
@ 03:36
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