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Saturday, February 16, 2002
it was really beautiful here today too. kat, sasha and i went for a drive and mooed at some cows standing in a field. they all turned their heads and stared at us. even the sunset said that spring was coming. (im avoiding work. ive become one of those people with work to avoid. ew. i havent had to procrastinate in ages...i guess i kinda missed it. cigarette me!)
posted by vic
@ 18:12
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Sun is shining, weather is sweet here. Sunlight and love are coming out of the woodwork. Reading Dante has given me cause to form a hypothetical (in the proper sense of the word) definition of love--the phenomenon that inspires the lover to become a better person than s/he is out of a thing (love) like respect, but deeper and more personal. A type of inspiration to change that comes from someone else but is not contained in them. Springtime has the same effect; one is inspired to appreciate beauty, one has a longing for the warmth of the sun which is satisfied to a greater degree than it is in summer (when one is beaten with it over not only the head but the shoulders also), and I attribute this to god not as the source of life but as the source of both individual and the one love.
posted by egeus
@ 18:06
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what an absolutely beautiful day in Montreal. The weather was so warm and inviting. I walked around the city with my cup of corporate Canada coffee and perused the area where alicia, ella and I will probably be living next year. If we end up moving in, the rent will probably be approximately 200 American dollars a month, and there are two cheap produce markets run by Portuguese people, a small red bookstore which sells funk records and quaint books, and the alleys along the way are plastered with various graffitti art. To top it all off, we'd also be living quite close to the XXX Cinema L'Amour---hideaway of many a cretin jacking off to bad porn. The good news is, 3 videos for $39.99!
Yesterday, I attended the women's union's plaster breast-casting and now have a really fucking cool image of my boobs and my hand below them in plaster. It was really wonderful---8 women totally comfortable with being topless. Then some of my roommates and friends went out to dinner at an Italian restaurant.
Now I listen to Black-eyed Peas---good hip-hop for whoever is interested.
posted by Record Album
@ 02:07
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Friday, February 15, 2002
a story in two parts: bc it's too long to go through as one -
girls cause uproar on campus. the man warns, "lay low"
so the vagina monologues went so great. it was really fun. my friends gave me flowers and my mom came. it was just so good.
so, riding high on all that energy, the girls and i went back to the room and had a little naked party. we were sitting around in our underwear with elaborate plastic jewelry, rollerskates, scarves, gloves, having a grand old time when about two hours into it i look at the window (which was wide open, as it always is) to see two security guards standing across the street directly in front of it. now, a small thought process went through my mind in which i became angry at them because i had earlier said, "they'll probably be a security guard watching us" and because the one sleazy one has beeng getting on my nerves all week. this lasts about thirty seconds. i know they are aware of us being up there. i then tell everyone, and we all freak out and shrink away and draw the blinds and get scared. kelly gets angry and screams out the window, "hey asshole, do your fucking job." this upset them. they proceed to stand out there for a little longer, then they walk down the street and start crossing it to come over. now we start freaking out. we were smoking in there and we all get a little scared and start rushing to put on our clothes and get the fuck out. it's going slow, cuz y'know...we finally get out and kelly yells to the kids in the hall, "if a security guard comes up here, we're not around." and i turn around to see, yep, occifer asshole standing right there. i proceed down the hall, look at him, and he says hello. janna and sasha are still stuck in the room. i freak out, all Dad is catching us stylee, and skate into my room. a confrontation occurs and he is yelling at sasha who is trying to explain to him that we were naked and we thought they were being creeps. he keeps walking away.
posted by vic
@ 14:09
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then kelly, in a moment of pure integrity, so perfect that i have never witnessed such before, goes up and says, "that was me yelling, im sorry, i didnt have my shirt on and i thought that you were looking at us."
dickhole: "well, it's hard not to see you when you are making a bunch of noise and standing in the window. i saw, but i looked right away. im a modest man. BLAH BLAH BLAH AUTHORITY LIES LIES LIES!"
this is the point: we insulted his manhood, his power, and his job. and so he had to come up and give us a little scare. im fucking mad as hell about it because the thing we all overlooked was that that fucker knew we all had no clothes on and still thought that he had the right to come upstairs and bother us in our room. nobody thought to even mention that last night. the easiest, sleaziest part still gets overlooked because it is always right in front of your face.
our little girl-run business is also getting pushed off campus by a bunch of men who control that facet too...and this isnt even a legitimate realm. they still have all the power. fuckin a'.
the worse point, and this is what this school breeds: nobody will ever believe us on the security guard thing. nobody will believe us on the other thing either because it's illegal, anyway. we cant do shit, because we do things we arent supposed to do and so i would rather just keep it down so that the man isnt fucking breathing down my neck. im so royally pissed. i dont think any revolutionary has ever come outta this place. all that they want here is for everyone to play by the rules and they give you enough room just so you can still suck on your soma pipe in piece and dont get riled up. god, it makes me wanna puke. this system is so bunk. ahhhhhhhh! how are we gonna make it?!
in other news: i am a horrible student this semester. and that makes me nervous. i should just go to class. blah blah.
real point: naked women together is an invitation for the gaze. when you call anybody on it, it's invitation for punishment. i almost hope we get written up for it (we wont: that security guard wont have the guts to) so that i can go and have a talk with the real man about this sham of a school he's running which violates all the rules it sets for itself, is corrupt at its core, and promotes the sludge-like apathy (hopelessness) which it so adamantly pretends it doesnt: just like every fucking other institution.
posted by vic
@ 12:35
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Someone smart once said, actually I just made this up right now, there are three angles: sharp, obtuse, and right.
I wouldn't do this, but this dude William James is so tight, and I happened to be reading him when I guess you were referring to me,...
"The postulate that there is truth, and that it is the destiny of our minds to attain it, we are deliberately resolving to make, though the sceptic will not make it. We part company with him [or her], therefore, absolutely, at this point."
"The strength of his system lies in the principles, the origin, the terminus a quo of his thought; for us the strength is in the outcome, the upshot, the terminus ad quem."
But then again, you might prefer Bacon
("What is truth, said jesting Pilate, and would not stay for an answer.")
posted by egeus
@ 03:18
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Shit, I just made myself puke b/c when I'm drunk, I don't like my head spinning all much. I got a message on my "machine" from my babcya (i.e. Grandma, for those of you who don't remember shit) that was wishing me a happy valentines day and "do what you want to do, you are an adult now and you can make your own decisions" It was really sweet and beautiful. My babcya is a wonderful person and she just wants me to be happy. That's really the fucking great thing of it all---that's all she wants, mostly, is for me to have a good life and be happy. She is a fucking great person. P.S. way to go drunk post numero 2. Also, Vicki Conrad, I heart you. Also, K-Lo, I'm sorry you were in a shitty mood today and I wish that I could have been a better friend, but when I have problems of my own it is hard to deal with other peoples' problems, so I'm sorry that I was a dick, but today I had to be.
We went to this rrrreal american touristy place, Sir Winston Churchills, and I danced some, and I witnessed 1000 psychological problems and a half, but c'est la vie as the frenchies say. Another Valentines day gone by. Funny how everyone was all up in arms about this whole thing.
Vic---also, I believe the johnny comment was supposed to be a dig
Johnny 55555555555--correct me if I'm "wrong" if such a thing exists
posted by Record Album
@ 02:18
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the host on "the 5th wheel"'s comments are based on special effects.
posted by rayve nation
@ 01:00
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Thursday, February 14, 2002
It's well-intentioned criticism--you can take it as good or false but either way it's far from perfectly so. To spell it out any further would both increase its perfection in the wrong way and be in poor taste.
posted by egeus
@ 17:49
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hee hee hee...guess what? i got a flower from a secret admirer for valentine's. i think i know who it is, and it's not my hungarian boyfriend. but it is a foreigner...admirer was spelled quite shoddily. as was my name. oh well, im back in effect and funnily enough kelly is now on the hormone highway to hell. february is such a nasty month.
twofold congrats on some tired news? je ne comprend pas!
posted by vic
@ 16:50
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Whan that February with his shoures sote...
It isn't really wrong to fault people for not caring about other people, because that is a problem. But it isn't much more than a symptom of the more coherent, defined, fundamental problem that people take their care for themselves for granted. By avoiding self questioning, one precludes treating others well and caring for them. Love or care for someone else gives rise to a desire to improve oneself. (Not a desire to be good enough for someone or as good as someone but to be better for the sake of sharing the benefits of improvement with the loved one and everyone else.) By accepting that one is beyond the need for self improvement one loses sight of the beauty of love for individuals and in general.
Vicki- Twofold congrats on some tired news.
posted by egeus
@ 15:32
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oh, carlos.
so happy valentine's day! my horrible pelvic wrenching contractions have finally ceased and i am ready to face the world again! woohoo!
steph, sorry to hear that shit. that's no good. if i were you and you were me i know you would probably insert some idle threat here as to what you would like to do to that shitfucker but alas, the tables have turned. walk away now is my best advice. oh, fuckit, i dont really have any good advice for this situation. it just sucks. maybe he's not a playa, maybe he just crushes a lot?
sorry. girls here are getting played left and right too. ladies, you just gotta keep your wits about you and dont get too involved. all these donkey-ass-manholes running around with their little peckers all up in my business. i swear. hey, im in the vagina monologues tonight: you guys should come. ah well, i am off to lunch. i'll talk to you later, steph. i miss you all and love you too!
posted by vic
@ 11:55
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what the fuck?
posted by K-Lo
@ 11:02
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Fuckitty Fuck Fuck Fucker.
posted by Record Album
@ 01:43
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He's fucking another girl. I didn't even hear it from him, but got it from overheard conversations. Not even exaggerating. "So whose this new girl you're sleeping with?" Thanks assholes for a fine V-day and my ass plans destroyed. Too many people read this, but I don't give a shit about going "public" about it. Just want to smoke a hundred cigarettes. Ella sent me and Alicia a package from France which arrived today. I got drunk with A. bitching about that idiot. He started singing Sade and I wanted to vomit. Really I just wanted to punch him really really hard. Punch him in his stupid hairy mouth. Eventually, he too will probably find this website, but I don't give a shit. I used the word "fuck" in reference to him a whole lot in the past 2 hours. Chump. Worse than chump in fact. Man, I just got played. Do you people understand this?! I got fucking PLAYED!!!! By an asshole.
The real fundamental problem of this world is that people just don't care about other people. That is really what all problems stem from. I don't believe that the erasure of gender or economic inequalities will lead to the erasure of all inequalities. Only when people start caring about other people will inequalities disappear. That is the only way. The only way.
I smell like cigarettes, bad breath, a bed made for no one, and lil' ole hot me with nothing to do on Valentines day. Every time I call myself hot I think that I should preface it with some gender socialized comment about not being conceited, but jimmy crack corn, I don't care. I'm hot and just got hard fucking core played. And do I give up the ass just so I can say "look how strong I am?" "look, I'm an independent woman who doesn't need a man" I don't need a man, but my hormones do. And I'm drunk and my whole family is probably fucking reading this, but who gives a shit...welcome to me.
posted by Record Album
@ 01:41
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ooooooooooo im listenign to the promise ring on valentine's day and it is makign me so happy for some reason! ahh high school very emergency style.
losing my voice just talking to you about talkign to you
happy vday i guess...
posted by rayve nation
@ 01:08
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happy v.d. everybody!
heh heh heh. my crimson tide is flowing all over this shit! speaking of, in a horrible, horrible accident i shit in my pants today.
thought that would cheer everyone up.
and so will this emocorecrybaby see if you can tell which smartass comment is mine. hint: fakename.
posted by vic
@ 00:07
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Wednesday, February 13, 2002
Check this shit out:
A) George W. had something like 17,000$ donated in his name to Planned Parenthood---a note was sent to him thanking him.
B) the Feminist Majority foundation is planning on sending him 5,000 metal coat-hangers to represent each woman that will die from a back-alley abortion in the first year if his supreme court apointees end up making abortion illegal. Fucking brilliant I tell you. My feminism is back and on fire.
posted by Record Album
@ 16:22
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Tuesday, February 12, 2002
man, i have checked my email 800 times today for nothing and listening to this modest mouse combined with the double blogg makes me feel like im back at nyu. what in the fuck happened? hormonal dip? im a fucking mess. i just sent this pathetic email to peter too in which i expressed this ridiculously sad thing im already sorry about. but i mean it, i guess. fuck i dont know. why would i have to be this far away from someone i love? and if so, what was the point? what's the fucking point of anything anymore. i dont care about any of this. oh god, i just turned into a depressed teenager. ew. i need to talk to someone but i dont know who it is. i keep getting this nagging feeling in the back of my brain that is like "you should call that person." and i know it's peter and i cant and i wanna fucking cry and die. god i am the pathetic one today. i should be stopped.
posted by vic
@ 16:57
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Thank you all ever so much for the birthday wishes. My birthday was lovely, and I had several experiences which I feel have greatly enhanced my person. Vicki, the weekend was just fine, nothing bad went on, I had a lot of fun! Thanks you guys for inviting me along. It was good to see you, my friends. John, that's an awesome quote, and it fits in perfectly with the philosophy that I am beginning to accidentally discover and live. I think I might be creating a blogger-based website to outline said philosophy. the title will be "Observations after the dissolution of my selfhood" and the subtitle will be "Non cognito, ergo discerno." Correct my Latin, if you could, John? Oh yeah, and I need you to give me your mailing adress again-- I lost it. (postcard thing) Feel better kelly and vicki and whoever else needs to feel better. sleep is important, get as much as possible, especially if you're ill. if anyone needs to talk, don't be afraid that a bad mood or bad news will upset me-- I've recently been very pleased to help some friends out with their depression, and find it highly rewarding. ACH, MENSCH! Psychology? or Comparative Literature? or Philosophy? or Theology? I DON'T KNOW LEAVE ME ALONE. damn the man, forcing me to narrow it down. i wish I could quadruple major and do 1/4 the work.
posted by heinous
@ 16:39
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myah rhaygh. im kinda sad. i've got my periodface on. kelly's sick - she was even coughing up blood! - and she's being stupid about it and i am mad at her now. im a little mad at everyone. goddammit i have to study this week and the vagina monologues and a quiz in this class that i just bought the book for and blah blah blah no goddammit, you cant come to madison with us because this is an all WOMEN'S collective: no cock allowed. my fingers look like bloody stumps. i think each tip is infected. now im listening to don henley "all she wants to do is dance" and that's helping a bit but soon i will walk to class and listen to modest mouse and want to kill myself even more. my ovary! why do you poke me so?
goodbye. i hate this post. fkfjlksjdfa;dkd;laskd;lak.
posted by vic
@ 14:38
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happy birthday matt. sorry I'm late.
censorship here to stay? really?
posted by K-Lo
@ 04:15
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Monday, February 11, 2002
happy birthday matt! and think - now that you're 20 you only have to repeat what you've already been through 3 more times and then you can die. if you're lucky.
drink up, johnny! only one more year till it's legal alcoholism.
have a good one! and sorry for what may have been a disasterous weekend, if i could only remember it.
posted by vic
@ 18:03
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"in your intellect already is shiningthe eternal light which, seen, alone and always kindles love; and if aught else seduce your love, it is naught save some vestige of that light, ill-recognized which therein shines through."
-Beatrice, Paradiso
posted by egeus
@ 17:40
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Happy birfday Matt!
posted by egeus
@ 17:37
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Happy Birthday Matty McMatt
Go out, drink some beer
Don't have a sneer
Put your ass in gear!
PS-note to all: homogenization hits home. Censorship is here to stay.
posted by Record Album
@ 16:16
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happy birthday matt! have fun being 20; it's the most boring age ever...
may the road rise up to meet you
may the clouds shine upon you
until we meet again
posted by rayve nation
@ 16:10
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Happy Birthday Matt Attack! You've been hit by--! you've been struck by--! a smooth birthday! right.
posted by Kelljoy
@ 14:59
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Sunday, February 10, 2002
I was out at a party last night with a few of my crew girls. we were on our way form one party to another when mike called to tell me he got jumped and beat up and now he's in my house in my room and wants to see me. well, fuckin a. I just now realized that when I got home and there were all those people here I was the only one who actually lived here, gotta start locking the door. I was actually told not to go in there right away, things were being worked out or discussed or some bullshit. get outta my way I live here and it's my room. he didn't look too bad I guess, but he was in a lot of pain. he doesn't know who did it. he was on the way to the liquor store, heard 'hey what's up?' said it back, and felt something hit the side of his head. there were four guys, but he didn't see face or any details. nate was a block away in the car waiting for him, not knowing he was getting beat up. this part confuses me b/c the store has a parking lot right next to it, why didn't they park there? they tell the story like it was completely radom, some guys just beat him up. I asked nate if he thought mike's temper had anything to do with it and he said he though it was 150% part of it. so much drama. I don't want it. it felt like he wanted me to cry and coo and nurture and baby him and that's so not what I'm about. I seriously didn't know what to do but it felt like I should have been doing something. I'm really aggravated. fighting is so stupid. boys too.
posted by K-Lo
@ 22:31
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The glory of the All-Mover penetrates through the universe and reglows in one part more, and in another less. I have been in the Heaven that most receives of His light, and have seen things which whoso descends from up there has neither the knowledge nor the power to relate, because, as it draws near to its desire, our intellect enters so deep that memory cannot go back upon the track. Nevertheless, so much of the holy kingdom as I could treasure up in my mind shall now be the matter of my song.
-Dante
posted by egeus
@ 11:55
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what the fuck?!! winona rider got arrested for theft and possession of pills?? there goes the 90's...:
SUNDAY FEBRUARY 10 2002
Associated Press
February 6, 2002
Ryder was arrested Dec. 12 for allegedly stealing about $4,800 in clothing from Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills. Police said she also possessed the painkiller Oxycodone, a morphine derivative, without a prescription. The 30-year-old actress faces up to three years and eight months in prison if convicted, but could also be sentenced to probation. Ryder remains free on $20,000 bond. A preliminary hearing was scheduled for March 11. Beverly Hills police said store security officers saw Ryder remove security tags from several items, place them in her bag and leave the store. Her attorney, Mark Geragos, said Ryder was carrying items between store departments and had a valid prescription for the drugs. Ryder earned Oscar nominations for playing the heroines in the period films "Little Women'' and "The Age of Innocence.'' She also played a drug-abusing, depressed young woman locked in a mental asylum in "Girl, Interrupted'' and has starred in "Heathers'' and "Edward Scissorhands.''
posted by rayve nation
@ 02:11
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