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Saturday, December 09, 2000
i was just talking to my dad on the phone and he referred to himself as a "closet environmentalist".
posted by vic
@ 18:58
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i have just spent the last hour looking at makeoutwithme and it is just so great. george hosts it and it basically just a bunch of illinois kids (oh, you know the ones im talking about - they live in the suburbs, they like good music, they arent really doing anything but it's so damn refreshing). skateboards, emo, shows, kids complaining about living with their parents..how much do i miss these concepts? i dont think i wanna grow up.
ive become obsessed with suburbia and pop-punk music and teenagers since ive gotten here. i am a fucking teenager for fuck's sake! this goddamn city has made me grow up so fast in the last 4 months. where has all the pointless, senseless joy gone? what happened to pranks and scams and safely breaking the law in safe settings? i hate you new york! i hate you with a passion that runs deep to the core of my being. blah humbug.
shit, i was feeling good before i wrote that. motherfucker.
what's with my guttermouth?
posted by vic
@ 17:43
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mad props to marisa for getting the archives from forever all up and running.
mad props..hahaha
i miss you all so much. i can't wait to see you all and squeeze you over and over and over. you're going to be so sick of my squeezing and prodding by the end of break.
i am rediscovering ani's, "not a pretty girl". what a fabulous album.
posted by vic
@ 17:04
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Hmm, here's some scary psyhic work: I was just looking the archive at the very earliest entry's which I had never read, in which vicki DID in fact hack into everyone's accounts!!! ahhh!!! the madness!!!!
posted by Record Album
@ 13:36
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I am feeling very not right in montreal all the sudden, as if the city has lost its luster and the thrill is gone. Part of the reason behind this is that I feel really isolated not being in a dorm, and although the house has all the convenience of big room, cooking, and nice location, I feel like I don't really have an oppurtunity to make friends, (I mean that if I were in the dorms I could just get friends vis-a-vis normal everyday interaction instead of having to make an extended effort) which is the part that's getting to me. And I don't know what the deal is with some of my roommates and there is all kinds of pressure of who is going to live with who next year.
In other better news--you two jokers in new mexico: I didn't think you guys were fooling around (they actually were folks) when I read that you took a break!! Although, after I read it, I did acknowledge the fact that that would be something I usually would think. And roommate as guest blogger? I don't know---that guest blog from bill cromie added some "spice to life" but what the hell would your roommate say?? Now I will use code to say the following "Brendan's compatriot seems to have the mind set of me when I consumed 4 pot brownies" Did anyone get that at all???
Moreover, I have just entertained the thought of blog pirating. Someone, (whoever you are watch out!) could create mass tension, hostility, an perhaps all out war if they could hack into the blogger database and sign themselves on as anyone of us. Now this would take someone with skill, cunning, and social genius. Someone in the inner circle who knows all of us well enough to imitate the nuances and quirks in dialogue used by each blogger. The archive, the heart on the monster's sleeve, could unfortunately reveal the particulars in style and subject. By studying this pocket of information, this person bent on destruction could thereby slowly create an emotional hurricane, perhaps even funnel different information to different computers. So to the anonymous [FRANKIE!!!!] person with these evil thoughts, you've already been busted.
posted by Record Album
@ 12:17
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John's roommate is on crack! John pointed the fan on dan, as he had asked him to. Then dan wakes up and looks at the fan blowing in his face and yells "Jesus Christ! Close the fucking window!" in the most psychotic voice imaginable and then puts on his jacket rather than get under the covers. Then he goes back to his angry grunting and whimpers. he already informed me of how many hiding places for bodies there are out here.
posted by K-Lo
@ 05:37
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"Double Blog Complete?! I didn't notice that til Now. nerd! Nerd!" ---Karen
posted by egeus
@ 05:24
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[Karen]
So I made it to New Mexico. This place is weird. really, really weird. but it'sa good weird, I guess. John fits in really well. you know, 'cuz he's kinda good weird. ha ha. All my friends at school took me out to lunch before I had to leave to go to the airport- it was very nice. vic: operation: pizza toppings was successful. ummm... yeeeah.
[John]
Karen made it in to New Mexico. Karen reminded me that my room mate is crazy. no, certifiable. He wants to blog once. just once, he says. yay or nay? put one down for nay for K. He doesn't read this. [30 minute divergence] "It didn't really take us 30 minutes. we started at 4:08. it took us seven." ---karen. and one to write that.
[Karen]
the divergence was joint rolling, people. get your minds out of the gutter! Stephanie that means you!
[John]
Stephanie, thanks for hours of distraction from schoolwork! Nose Pilot is definitely um, distracting. For anyone interested, Yahoo says road trips to Stephanie takes 18 hours one way. sounds like a party!
[Karen]
s-pionage: any chance you can escape to the big apple next weekend?
ahhh, my third consecutive 4:20AM. thank you and good night
[John]
Double Blog complete.
posted by egeus
@ 05:23
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i just had a wonderful evening with ted. the pleasure of NOT ending a night in sexual activity is more than i can bear! the male relationships ive been having lately (which are all, incidentally, sex-free) have been so worthwhile and meaningful. it's so wonderful to know that something isnt going to end in me feeling empty, drowning in a pool of my own self-hatred. i also am a very big fan of not feeling poked at. i've never enjoyed sex (as in intercourse..ew) and there are a multitude of reasons for that, but i have always also felt this self-imposed, self-destructive desire to participate in it. even though i know it always ends poorly and ultimately does waaaaay more harm than it's worth. so it's really good that i am finally making clear, wise, um, dareisay healthy decisions. i feel my entire faith in the male population rising! is this the end of the poor decision making, self destructive vicki of days of yore?
hahah...not so fast...where's my lighter?
posted by vic
@ 02:12
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Friday, December 08, 2000
i did it! i did it! i quit! he was pissed, but whatever, i will never see him again. muwhahaa.
posted by marisa jo
@ 15:42
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my latest stroke of genius: i am going to tell him i quit when i ask him to sign my timecard! i am clever, no? (no.)
posted by marisa jo
@ 14:54
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pardon me for being nosy: but who is checking this site from beloit college on a machine running windows NT? dlfkgejl5o6874. yep.
posted by marisa jo
@ 14:43
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this place makes me laugh. matt just asked me if i was interested in graphic design and if i would like a free copy of photoshop. of course, i already have it. then we talked about web design for a while. i have had three conversations with people here at work, two of which were about illegal software and other nerdthings. what's with that?
i have decided that sometime between two-thirty and three o'clock i am going to tell my boss i quit. seriously. and, of course, i will tell you all about it.
also, these hives have turned my once-beautiful visage into this hatchetface (that's all very exaggerated). i can't take it anymore! they are getting worse, not better. i feel like a beast. so i am finally going to go to the dermatologist. next week. yes.
posted by marisa jo
@ 14:14
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Hey people, I still don't know who that was. that signed my guestbook. please identify yourself. Marisa, I have no advice for you because I have never had to quit a job for an illegitimate reason, and I'm so passive/have no balls that if I was in your situation I would just endure the pain until I somehow got out of it by pure chance or luck.
posted by rayve nation
@ 13:55
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Marisa, if I could answer you I would, but alas, because I have never howyousay "held a real job"
Mike, I really like massive attack and am very much reveling in teardrop
To my hat, thanks for making me happy today [ya see folks I'm lasting on a half hour of sleep here and this morning/last night I was wearing my winter hat and everytime I glanced and saw myself in the mirror, because of the position of my hat, I would take on a new dork personality and speak to myself accordingly]
posted by Record Album
@ 13:23
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now listen: i know that many people have looked at this since i last posted, just like i know that someone got to this page by searching for "monster fuck" and "fucking in a backseat". so why is no one answering me?!?!?! also, someone from the department of defense has been looking at our site again. does that scare anyone else?
posted by marisa jo
@ 12:46
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okay, folks: i come to you seeking some advice, stat. i have decided that, yes, i certainly am going to quit this job today. as in, not coming back, EVER. i know what i want to say to him, but when do you think i should tell my "boss"? right now? after lunch? or right before i leave? keep in mind that he is an ASSHOLE. so please hit me with your suggestions. any of you, all of you. if i've never met you or if you're my best friend. i'm dead serious, i need some guidance. i've never actually quit a job like this before. i always had valid excuses, not just "i hate you".
posted by marisa jo
@ 10:39
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i just coughed up this peculiar little white chunk. too firm to be throat tissue, i think. i wonder what it was?
posted by marisa jo
@ 09:10
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Alright folkies, I would really like to know what mo fo put that fake guestbook entry on my home page. It made me so excited, and then when I realized that it really wasn't Ray I got really sad. so fess up, you know who you are (vicki, kelly, or stephanie)
posted by rayve nation
@ 04:15
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Thursday, December 07, 2000
Oh I forgot all about Slater!! Oh A.C. Slater, where are you in your old age? Are you selling all those elastic-wasteband stonewashed jeans that Jessie Spano liked so much? I'll be your jessie spano, I'll get mad and punch you when you call me mama. Oh saved by the bell....
"Mario Lopez starred in the recently cancelled series, "Pacific Blue," as well as the movies "A Crack in the Floor," scheduled for release in 2000 and "Rikki the Pig," due out in 2001. He recently appeared on the TV show "Search Party." "
posted by Record Album
@ 21:52
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If you'd like to learn more about mullets.....
posted by Kelljoy
@ 21:16
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someone got this site from looking for "fucking in the backseat", how I know not
posted by Record Album
@ 20:26
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Guys, be honest. I don't look like this, do I?
posted by rayve nation
@ 19:22
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Oh my god marisa, you don't even know--the mullet is a big big thing these days! All the fashion models have mullets. All the guys stuck in the 80's have it. And naturally, the balance will only be found when all the bourgeoisie of the world start wearing it. Soon every middle class joe and jane will be sporting a mullet. For my cultural studies project where you had to go on a "cool hunt," someone did the mullet!! In fact, michael I think you would look fiiiiiiiine in a mullet. Or even better, john!!! John, you have the perfect pre-requisites for a mullet: long hair and a penchant for the clash. So when I get home I'll hook you up with a mullet, deal? Deal.
And concerning the link-obsession...I know, it's getting a little out of hand, but once you pop you can't stop!! [tm Pringles]
posted by Record Album
@ 15:44
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FINALLY!!! How many times have we tried, marisa??? Now I feel cool! I was thinking that I'm really going to bring the quality of this shit down... oh well, you can all blame marisa and vicki for saying they wanted me to be a part of it. And if you don't like it, then don't read my blogs! Ha ha ha, was that punk rock enough for you guys??? Adios, amigos. Bye the way, this is matt, and i have no idea how i got this to work... chances are this may be the last you hear from me. if so, i love you all...
posted by the great mattsby
@ 15:20
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i just saw the cutest little mouse scurrying around! awww...
posted by marisa jo
@ 12:16
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i think i may quit my job today. they are the poorest bunch of communicators ever and it's really getting to me. this business is so shoddily run. not that i am claiming to be the queen of organization, but i don't pretend to run an efficient business. i am not a businesswoman. this was supposed to end last week or the week before, so staying here longer makes it feel like punishment, like a kid in detention. i am so crabby today, everything makes me want to cry. ick. i swear i'm ovulating.
posted by marisa jo
@ 11:27
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a man with the most amazing haircut was just here: it was a mullet with a bonus rattail! that is all.
hey, look guys, stephanie learned to link! :þ
posted by marisa jo
@ 11:01
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Oh more fun sites!!! With this you can make friends and talk to them!!! CYBORGS!!!
posted by Record Album
@ 10:46
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since i haven't been feeling well i decided to do something responsible-ish and not smoke. i smoked twice yesterday and didn't enjoy it either time. sad times. fourteen hours since i last smoked and i feel a-okay. it took my boss ninety minutes to get here from naperville this morning. that's what you get for living in naperville. it took weird-guy-george two hours to get here from lincoln park. that's what you get for living in lincoln park.
posted by marisa jo
@ 10:02
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Hey wanna see the funnest site ever??? It's the PETA site! Oh how I love it
posted by Record Album
@ 08:54
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oh stephanie, your niece is lovely! you are a wacky thing.
it's snowing like crazy ("hey guys, that's some mad snow"). on the way to work i was listening to this tape evan made for me a long time ago called "HELL DAMN FART" and i started sobbing and couldn't stop. i really hope i'm ovulating. and why am i suddenly obsessed with ovulating?
posted by marisa jo
@ 08:24
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Today I love learning. I read the newspaper and it was like sweet sweet nectar. I have the entire day ahead of me and I'm listening to Bessie Smith. I got a strange call and e-mail yesterday from jason. I think I know what's coming, and I want to avoid it like the plague. Vick-you know how you have this "I can't teach you all" thing? I think I have a variation on that theme but in a different way. Stories in the newspaper today included how salt lake city is gonna put orange flags at busy streets so that people can wave them above their heads while crossing to make themselves known!!! Also, a lady asked if her husband and herself should avoid his "radioactive seeds"---translation: are my husbands sperm affected by chemotherapy--now why couldn't she just say that? The only that has disturbed me greatly today is this
posted by Record Album
@ 08:13
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I am coming home around the 16th. hey look at this ultrasound of my niece I'm so excited!
posted by Record Album
@ 02:47
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Hey Vicki---click on your steely dan/bradley nowell link and then click on the link to the merchant, right under the place where it says "no photo available". It will explain everything,.
posted by egeus
@ 00:57
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Wednesday, December 06, 2000
when is everyone coming home? my flight is on the 19th.
posted by rayve nation
@ 22:10
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steph, you highlight the word/words you want to set up as a link, then you press the earth/chain button, and then type in the address. got it dude?
posted by rayve nation
@ 22:08
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For the record, people, the CBS eye is NOT, I repeat, NOT, the eye of big brother. The eye is based on artwork by surrealist, Belgian artist, Renee Magritte. Although, now that i think about it, Magritte could have worked under cover for the US government, posing as an artist, but actually perfecting a device that can watch every TV owning person in America. The eye, it's perfect. So obvious and yet, so easy to overlook(no pun intended). Fortunatly, nobody watches CBS anymore,not since Murphy Brown hit it's last season, so I imagine the gov'ment has had to think of some other ways to keep tabs on you civilian slobs. They could be watching us right now....
posted by Kelljoy
@ 22:04
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well - it's 10:30, i've got 7 pages of the urban soc. paper done. i just brewed my pot o' coffee and im feeling fine. my eyes are two endless grey pits. the coffee should give me enough energy to finish the urban soc. and to muster up a couple more pages for writing workshop. im just excited that the end is in sight of this bullshit! i dont know why when you get close to the actual deadline everything becomes crystal clear and less scary than it was even two days before. id rather stay up all night then have to think about this for one more waking second after tomorrow. im actually a little excited about the state of near hallucination i will be in tomorrow in class. it's always fun when you can alter your mind without those pesky substances. back i go. ho ho ho.
posted by vic
@ 21:38
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i wish my goddamn computer would fix itself.
i think i'm ovulating. that's the only explanation i can come up with to explain why i'm feeling so odd. i feel withdrawn. i feel lonely. i went to evan's last night. i felt lonely there, too, which doesn't make sense.
i just wrote a whole bunch of other stuff but deleted it because i am a moron.
$(*#&$(#% )($*%$%#$. sorry.
posted by marisa jo
@ 20:46
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how do I link to a page? I try pressing the paperclip thing, but to no avail
posted by Record Album
@ 15:34
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Today was my last day of classes, including my feminism class. I realized I pressed procrastination to its limit because the only way that I had my fem. paper done was by being a half an hour late to class. I found out that I am one of two people not on anti-depressants in this house...slightly disturbing. I have also decided that I really like hearing articulate and coherent and intelligent women speak. Like in the feminism class! I am so sorry that that's over, because I was really beginning to like those hard-core front row girls most of whom were friendly lesbians with one or two franks. Hmm, has anyone noticed the slight prejudiced ("frank", ms. junius my favorite secretary ever, so shutup) that is held against lesbians and not gays amongst the people we hang out with? (it's you people, stop looking around!!!)
posted by Record Album
@ 15:32
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does anybody know what this is? steely dan doing bradley nowell covers? what?
posted by vic
@ 15:20
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oooh man. when i get home im going to load up on karmahyrdates hard-core cuz i have a 4 month long marathon through hell waiting for me when i get back here.
4 of 7 pages done for writing workshop.
2.5 pages of 10 for urban soc. completed. why am i not worried yet?
posted by vic
@ 14:57
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interesting theory, homedog.
i was going to try to ease my aching belly with my anti-nausea meds, but opted for the natural version: peppermint tea, karmahydrates (that goes out to my homegirl vicki c.), and "kids in the hall" (sometimes laughter is the best medicine, snort snort). i must say, i am feeling better. it's been snowing lightly all day and i am going to draw now.
posted by marisa jo
@ 14:40
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i agree about the overmedication of children.
but the fact that this country has so many psychological disorders is because we have the freedom, liberty and privelage to talk all this shit. there are so many other countries in which the air, water, etc. quality is worse, the food less healthy, the landscape more war-torn, and the political situation more unstable. the reason why those people aren't bitching about their psyche all the time is because they're too busy trying to survive. the price we pay to live in this postmodern, individualistic society where no one is ever satisfied because even though they're given more choices than they could ever possibly need, they still want more, more, more (once bitten, twice shy babe?) is our sanity.
fuck i hate new york.
posted by vic
@ 13:40
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oh, also: i am convinced that talk show host montel williams is actually a brilliant man. i just heard him talking in the next room about how american children are overmedicated, how these meds just make kids crazier, and the fact that so many children in this country have psychological disorders really warrants a closer look at the air, water, etc. goddammit, why won't anyone listen to us, montel??!?!?!?!
posted by marisa jo
@ 12:39
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i stayed home from work today on account of this annoying vomiting thing. it was seven-thirty a.m. and i didn't think i'd be able to fall back asleep, so i watched the movie "fatso" starring dom delouise, and written/directed/starring ann bancroft. well, apparently i was tired because i fell asleep and didn't wake up until after noon. and now i will be forced to rent that movie sometime because it was oddly entertaining. mumble mumble, i'm a space cadet.
posted by marisa jo
@ 12:36
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Tuesday, December 05, 2000
The anals of Carla: she just gave me a container full of ten of those deelish viennese wafers with cappuccion cream, and you would think, "well, isn't she a swell roommate? Giving stephanie those wafers and all" but NO! When I politely declined the entire container she said "no, please...I've been eating them all week" Yes that's right. Carla is still trying to fatten me up!!! Paranoid delusions from so much coffee? I think not!!! Have you ever noticed that the CBS symbol is AN EYE?!?! Yeah, what's that supposed to mean?!
(Oh vic, did'ya think I was gonna take the credit for that? Of course not silly, close your mouth, and get back to work!)
Yes yes, that cbs symbol thing was stolen right out from under vicki's ass, who stole it from someone else...
posted by Record Album
@ 23:45
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egh. i want to die. i couldnt even last the five days of vampiracy. my sleep schedule is soooooo fucked up and i attempted to go to bed at 5 pm today for the night but i woke back up and forget it now. im too tired to move or work but i cant fall back asleep. i havent eaten anything substantial since i started this body-hating bender. strange is that i havent smoked pot in a while ( a while being days people, im not gonna lie). i was wondering if anybody else recieves very violent images when they are suffering from lack of sleep. i'll be walking down the street and out of nowhere imagine what my head would look like cracked open and bloody on the pavement. i also imagine committing random acts of violence and what mass destruction must look like - hellfire raining from the sky, buildings crumbling, the sun overheating and burning us all from the inside out.
this is why i value sleep people. because without it, what am i but very, very scary and inefficient.
i am the only one who is obsessed with efficiency?
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. somebody knock me out. mama said knock me out. i just wanna sleeeeeeeep.
posted by vic
@ 23:36
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I just finished the semi-stale pack of Camel lights that I'd been smoking, and I decided not to be a pussy and say something to carla who answered that yes, the banana peel was everywhere on the floor before she came in---lies, lies! Everyone immersed in lies!!!!
posted by Record Album
@ 21:25
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Too bad this isn't high school, because then you could call me Carrie
Oh, that's fucking it. I am going to fucking kill my roommates. First, they have a good laugh at me for talking about the brilliant and innovative website that is the monster. (Didn't we JUST have the conversation where stephanie really doesn't like it and won't fucking take it when people criticize her?!) And now, Carla, who was having a little trouble writing her paper, and is therefore not in the best of moods, asks me to use my computer, and procedes to drop the banana peel from the chair, and smush it into the floor. That's fucking disgusting!! And I'm not gonna fucking be able to yell at her to come clean her shit up because this would be a really bad time to kick her when she is down. When, as lauryn hill says "kharma kharma kharma come back to y'all" only two roommates will survive: one because she doesn't bug me at all, and one because she understands me.
posted by Record Album
@ 20:55
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i finally figured out what's so weird about these people i work with -- they have no sense of humor. or if they do, they are damn good at hiding it. i've never seen the one guy, george, crack a smile, EVER. and sometimes i'll say something funny, at a very basic level of humor, and he just looks at me weird. he's the biggest weirdo here, i think. anyway, i was going to write more, but matt just gave me pictures of his band playing and he wants me to look, so whatever, here i go.
posted by marisa jo
@ 15:07
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my writing workshope teached called me her "star pupil" today. i have never been so thrilled in my life. all i have ever wanted is for a teacher to tell me im smart and a good writer. besides mr. nekrosius, who was much more praising on a personal level (and has STILL not answered my email which hurts my feelings very much), i have had to wait 14 years for it. thank god someone finally noticed. figures it would be a woman. what else did i expect?
no matter what, this jesuscam from the spark always brightens my day. religious humor in its most perfect combined with modern technology form.
posted by vic
@ 13:41
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wow! i just had a real conversation with one of my co-workers, ahsan. he saw me looking up CGI and other nerdstuffs and inquired. this launched a lengthly conversation about every geek's favorite thing: computers. he told me about the company he owns in "his country" (pakistan) and how cheap software is there, his programming experience, his latest interest: hacking, etc. then he showed me his webpage from college and explained to me some of the software he designed. after i told him that cable connection was, indeed, available in the area (we are currently paying ten cents a minute HA! because there is no DSL in the area) he ran off to find info on that. seconds later, the owner of the company called and asked me to please make sure my boss, phil, gets the incoming fax. so i take a looksie at it to see that it is from the business software alliance (i'd link, but i fear them, and they have a slimmer chance of finding me if i just say their name), accusing the company of pirating software, threatening with a federal lawsuit, etc. this was funny to me, in an ironic sort of way, since ahsan and i were just discussing the ease and joy of software pirating. he also told me that he does ALL the computer stuff here... so, gee, i wonder...
posted by marisa jo
@ 13:39
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You know it's the end of the world when the people on your floor put a t.v connected to a sega in the third stall of the bathroom. You also know it's the end of the world when people start using the word like(not in regular context folks) in their emails. WHat's going on here? Coming in From the Cold?
posted by marko
@ 12:36
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today is the first day i didn't smoke pot on the way to work. it feels... different. this is because i left my pipe next to my bed. and i'm usually so good about that. but really, i'd been meaning to try this out.
i actually did something productive last night. i began PHASE I of operation: clean my hellhole of a room. this phase was all about clothing. threw two basketfulls downstairs to be washed, hung piles and piles up in the closet. the only crappy part was when i tried on a pair of pants that i haven't worn in a while and they were much too small. i don't mind getting fat so much as i mind wasting clothes. for the first time in months, i have floorspace. my carpet is a lovely color, i'd forgotten all about it. PHASE II will be huge. it's all about paper: books, magazines, notebooks, journals, camel cash, photos, receipts, mail, ticket stubs, etc. and being the pack rat that i am, it's difficult to part with. much of it will be boxed. i'm not quite sure when i will get to that.
i woke up around three this morning to a flashing alarm clock. i looked outside my window and there was a brilliant patch of orange glowing in the sky at the chemical plant ten miles away. the wind was very loud. i reset my alarm and tried to go back to sleep. the sleep wasn't exactly "sound". i woke up feeling kinda weird (again) and ended up puking (again). if it hadn't been four months since i last had sex, i might worry. i can usually nurse myself back to health on the way to work with a little smokey-smokey, but i already told you what happened with that. but instead i just sit here, feeling shitty. boohoo.
i really hope this temp assignment ends this week because i'm getting bored. they told me two to three weeks, and this is week four. oooh, how i wish i was home in bed with a cup of tea and mister bojangles. everytime i yawn or cough i'm afraid i'm going to yack. just thought i'd share.
posted by marisa jo
@ 08:56
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i love coffee so much! i havent had this much energy in years! i am bouncing off the fucking walls! too bad it's so late and i have no one to talk to and i should be finishing this paper. i know im gonna be hurting tomorrow but i cant stop! i love living at night! sure, i have had little to no interaction with the outside daylight world, but it's worth it! why is day more "real" than night! they're both valid, people, they're just opposites. god i love opposites. heeheehee.
how come any kind of mood alterer makes music so much more enjoyable? i am loving my extensive mp3 collection right now. i am rocking out in my chair to samiam's "ordinary life". and that song sucks.
ok back to paper. love you gadgit's cover of dont you forget about me.
night all!
posted by vic
@ 01:37
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well i have been reduced to wiping my ass with cotton balls. thank you, nyu, for forcing me to sink to this level the week before finals. although they leave my ass feeling baby soft, and are the least abrasive material i have had near my most tender places in months, they are highly illogical and inefficent. plus i fear what they might do to the decrepit and overworked plumbing system.
grrr...i'd like to knock on l. jay oliva's door (the president, he lives in my building) and ask him to borrow some tp. no doubt he is not going without. fuckers.
posted by vic
@ 01:26
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Monday, December 04, 2000
speaking of sleep schedules...i think ive finally made the transition to nocturnal creature! im so excited! granted, i know i can only last like this for at most 5 days but for those 5 days, let the vampire good times roll!
im a jerk because i will do anything and everything to not do what i am supposed to.
i just realized that i live to gush.
it takes so little to make my lifetime.
...in other news i pay over 30,000 dollars a year to attend this fucking school and there has been no toilet paper in the entire goddamn building for the last two days...
posted by vic
@ 22:36
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you obviously don't understand what I mean, steph. I will explain in person later...
posted by K-Lo
@ 20:39
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My sleeping schedule is ALL fucked up. I missed my fucking french class today and I am not pleased with that at all. And Feminist Theory was not satisfying at all today, which sucks. (speaking of...nothing says I hate my vagina like the phrase "I find myself hating girls more and more") Mike- thanks for the the page, I will study its contents more precisely at a later time...
posted by Record Album
@ 18:55
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marisa - ben isnt the only weasel that memory involves. heh heh heh.
where's my length of rope?
posted by vic
@ 18:44
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"mad props" (teehee, i crack myself up) to you for even remembering the summer of 1998, although i'm sorry your memory involves ben weasel. i cannot actually think of a single event that occurred at that point in my life. i think that means i should go sit down in my room with a stack of old journals again. i think i just did that last month. goddammit.
posted by marisa jo
@ 18:35
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sure it disturbs me a little that screeching weasel's, "hey suburbia" sums up the entire summer of 1998 for me. but it's that fun kind of disturbance, like looking at yourself drunk and disorderly in someone else's bathroom mirror.
i love you frankie!
posted by vic
@ 18:12
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hey kids, if you have a high speed internet connection, i suggest going to nosepilot.com, and there yo ube treated to audiovisual candy. yummy!
posted by rayve nation
@ 16:59
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I survived the three mile run much better than I had expected with only a slight desire to vomit at the end. go me. The scenery was beautiful: a covered bridge, sheep, the sky was really cool- very nice sunrise, more sheep, oh and some guy trying to help one of 'em over the fence. ha ha sorry, couldn't resist. I got back to my dorm less than an hour later than when I left, talked to my dad, who 'informed' me that we are going to play Notre Dame in the Fiesta Bowl, thanks dad. and then I went back to bed. Woke up to the sounds of Julia being her ever inconsiderate self. what's up with her? I don't get it. Last night she went to the movies with some football player who told her he was attracted to her becaus of the 'booty.' then she brought another one of her new football friends back here- after she already saw me go to bed- to talk or whatever. so I of course had to pretend I was asleep and listen to her string this guy along, showing him pictures of her boyfriend, and being a goddamned girl (I know you all understand what I mean by being a girl. I find myself hating girls more and more). Football Player inquired about a few of my pictures, asking if that was me- to which Julia replied "no, that's her mom!" huh? so then she points to the picture of me marisa and vic on the porch {Marisa is holding a bottle of Sublime, I'm holding the late great Bongascope and vic is giving her trademark (of the summer of 2000) double peacesign/ Iamnotacrook Nixon impression.} anyway, Football player says something in disbelief that I am me, and I think he said I look old, but I'm not really sure because Julia says, 'don't worry I won't tell her." so it's like that, huh? alright, fine. it's like that.
shit, is it still monday?
posted by K-Lo
@ 16:20
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i just spent the past two hours catching up on everything i've missed since i stopped following roxy's site a few months ago. no, not the roxy you kids went to your jesus highschool with, but a funny girl from florida. i ate a delicious pickle and cheese sandwich for lunch three and one-half hours ago and i am still burping it up. the thing about when i burp is that it is never just air, but rather a combination of air and bile and i always get scared and think i'm about to puke. this also has given me an esophagus and throat that are uncomfortably burned and shredded. and you kids know how much i burp. oh, me and my gasses (and juices). T minus twenty-five minutes until i leave work. this job is so rough.
posted by marisa jo
@ 15:34
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steph, i know you will appreciate this
posted by rayve nation
@ 14:27
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i just found jesus' site. but i guess since you kids all went to a jesuit highschool, you already knew about this. if i ever end up with one of those jobs where i have to "work" i will promptly hang myself.
posted by marisa jo
@ 12:52
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Today is one of those extremely clear days that really fucks with your head. I never understand how potentially beautiful days that are painfully translucent can be ruined by freezing temperatures. Wow, those sentences were pretty nice, and I sure like them. John--My break is roughly from the 16th to the 7th. I would love it if you came to visit me--it would be a lot of fun. Do it! Do it!
posted by Record Album
@ 12:11
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the rest of my weekend at school was lazy and swell. the only productive thing i did saturday was cook with diana. we made a scooby sandwich (long loaf of bread with lesbian sandwich fixins) and other scooby snacks (death by sugar and cookies). the rest of the day was spent with my ass on the couch watching programs on the learning channel about sex and body art. then i finally pryed [sic?] my ass off the couch to go upstairs and drink ghetto margaritas (limeade & montezuma tequlia). a little tip for you poor alcoholics out there: you can extend a pitcher of ghettoritas by adding equal parts of water and tequila when the pitcher starts to run low and you're out of limeade and you're still not drunk enough, but you really don't want to do shots. wow, how's that for poor sentance structure? janine, rachel, and i never left 609 that night. a few people stopped in and then left when we bored them to tears. it was fabulous. rachel's ass didn't leave her spot on my bed for at least three hours. we borrowed a cassette-recorder and taped ourselves discussing topics from a list they had been working on. topics included such hot items as: tori spelling, linda evans & yanni (they're married?!?!), and "the view". rachel also entertained with her great tales from owensboro, kentucky, including one which began with asking for john brennan's autograph ( the real world - "true storayys") and ended with her parents picking her up in jail. we also listened to some of her band's brilliant spoken word. the ssion is playing in chicago this summer and i cannot wait. i hope richard m. daley himself has to ban them from the city. we also got free pizza and a bottle of retard(orange)soda by calling papa johns and saying they owed us one (thank you, bryan, for the brilliant suggestion). okay, so actually they charged us twelve cents and we tipped him eighty-eight cents. did i mention we sent rachel down to get it? and did i mention that she was sporting a purple leotard/bodytard/unitard/reatard, a "cathy" sweatshirt with the neck and sleeves cut like jennifer beals, and red pumps that evening? the delivery man said he was "a lost puppy" until he saw her standing there. what?!?! i love it.
i left sunday after "sixteen candles". i wonder if rachel finished (or started) her ethnography with that great movie marathon on TNT? the drive home was magnificent. i left just as the sun was starting to lower itself into the fields, which is my favorite time to make that drive. the sky is never boring. it makes every farm on that rural route look like it belongs on a calendar celebrating america's heartland. john had left damian's "FUCK GUITARS" (i cant remember the name of the other side... grrr) hiphop/triphop tape in the deck when he borrowed my car the night before, and i was happy to rediscover it. that reminds me -- hey damian -- if you still read this, hit me with an email cause i lost your address with the death of my pc, and i've been meaning to get a hold of you.
the simpsons was, indeed, nutty and wonderful. i was disappointed that "sex and the city" was not on, but instead the first and second episodes of "the sopranos". granted, i enjoy that program as well, but i really wanted to watch my smut. so i went to bed at eight-thirty instead. i rule.
posted by marisa jo
@ 10:08
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i smoke my final cigarette before bed and sit here shaking as the last of the caffiene works itself out of my system. im listening to "wild horses" and thinking about everytime i put on the shitty copy of it i had taped from a record before school much to everyone's chagrin. you are all fools if you still do not see that it is the most beautiful song ever written. mick jagger might just be my favorite womanizing rockstar ever. after david lee roth, that is. hahaha. oh, the guitar solo, the aching voice, the lyrics! what wonder this song is! i need my car dammit! it's not nearly as satisfying to try to be pensive and melodramatic without scenery flying by the window. i need a lot of things. im tired about worrying about what other people need. what about my needs goddammit! (please read that in a disgruntled housewife tone as the irony of a spoiled only child writing that statement is not lost on me)
i go through periods of time here where i forget myself and it scares me. i have always prided myself on having a good amount of self-awareness and sometimes here i find myself not knowing what the fuck i am doing or who the fuck is doing it. these days where clarity seeps through are like a godsend. i guess it's a matter of balance and you have to be lost sometimes to appreciate being found.
i think a lot about going back to chicago in terms of being given a second chance. i have been selfish and un-understanding and taken a million things for granted. i thought i was going to start a new life in new york this is not the life i want at all. instead, it's like this bizarre purgatory in which i have to come to terms with myself on a lot of issues first before i can move onto the next stage. is anyone else having trouble with getting through the transitory period and onto the real thing?
i know this is the real thing and transition is all i've got.
i just miss the semblence of stability. emotionally, physically, mentally, psychologically, all the "allys" - this is not the place to find one's self. and college should be about finding yourself, right? i cant focus and i cant center and i cant remember what was important here. im doing nothing but waiting it out until im safe again.
i know this is wrong because everything that used to bring me pleasure is painful here. i cant even read my tao book without sobbing hysterically because i know it's right and i used to be so in tune with the universe on a different level and im not anymore. i cant put any of it into practice because i have to be aware of so many other things here that are just surface and stupid anyway. smoking pot isnt as fun and most of the time just leaves me paranoid, agitated and crazy. besides feeling physically like shit the next day, drinking just exacerbates depression and that worries me too. and i already discussed the whole masturbation thing. even getting off just isnt the same.
today was good because i surrounded myself with good nostalgic comfort and barely left my room. but that's not how i want to live. i want a life. i dont want it here. it just takes too damn much to get out to the street here. and after im out there it takes too much to go anywhere.
over the summer on my lunch break downtown i would play this game where i would look at each person on the street and imagine them as an angel. i looked directly at every passerby and would consciously think, "i love you. you are loved." i know that may sound stupid/wacko but i miss having that incredible faith in humanity. i feel very disconnected here from so much. how funny that in "the capital of the world" i cant find a single thing to hold on to.
well, i am going to bed now. im sorry if this was depressing. you all know im just venting right? i dont have very much outside contact here besides gillian, mark and the girls downstairs. i dont really have anyone i can talk to about this stuff so just understand that when i do this it's more like a conversation with myself. im just sick enough to think you need to read it. oooh cripes.
"i know i dreamed you a sin and a lie. i have my freedom but i dont have much time. faith has been broken, tears must be cried. let's do some living after we die. wild horses couldnt drag me away."
posted by vic
@ 04:18
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KAREN: T minus 116.5 hours to landing!!!
posted by egeus
@ 03:28
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AAAAck. I realized about 4 hours ago that I had to do my lab reading tonight. I procrastinated until now and now I find out that it is 30 double pages of fucking Pascal! Farewell, cruel world... [cue faint]
Steph---- what are the dates for your christmas/winter break? Would it be cool if we come and visit? (I am under the possibly mistaken impression that your break is really short and ends before ours.
Everyone else----feel like driving an action packed 844 miles to see steph sometime?
posted by egeus
@ 02:59
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ah, so nice. I just talked to vicki for almost an hour on the phone, when we were supposed to talk for just one cigarette. It was so nice--just like old times, talking and smoking, but in two different countries!!!
posted by Record Album
@ 02:45
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when thom yorke sings, "creep" i feel as though all my outdated angsty feelings are justified. im so crushed out tonight. im so ridiculous. jitter jitter shake and bake. love to love to love you.
posted by vic
@ 01:28
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oh I am in procrastinator's hell. Vicki and I, around 12, set up a meeting time at 2, so we could I quote "praise/ scold each other" hmmm...that sounds a little dirty, but it's not meant to be
posted by Record Album
@ 01:24
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would the person looking at this page from mccormick seminary please identify her/himself? im just curious. do i know you? mail me.
posted by vic
@ 00:31
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wow. im doing really inappropriate things. i just emailed gillian the porn tetris game. then i went and told her and she's all, "um, how did you get my email address" and im all, "oh, well, i just noticed from when you checked your mail on my computer". then she asked me if i was getting any work done and i said, "if by work you mean playing porn tetris, then yes, im getting a ton of work done".
why must i be so fucking creepy? and why wont other people just get it? why cant i get to an acceptable comfort level at this school!? why is there no decadent pleasure here? WHERE HAS ALL THE PLEASURE GONE!? this is not my beautiful opium den! this is not my beautiful concubine! my god, what have i done?
so many questions...so much of that already late lab gone undone.
posted by vic
@ 00:08
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Sunday, December 03, 2000
gillian and i made 12 cups of some of the strongest coffee ever to hit these veins and now i am feeling quite wired and happy. i should really abuse caffiene much more. it is really a very fun drug on occasion. what a sicko i am. i find something fun and my first impulse is "ABUSE IT ABUSE IT!!!!"
i love procrastinating. i really do. i talked to my mom today and we both took turns on the phone saying, "im the queen of procrastination!", "no, I'M the queen of procrastination. i guess we know where i get it from. how many other grown women will engage in that type of conversation long distance just to avoid doing work?
i just spent 10 minutes in front of the mirror dancing and admiring how cute i can make myself look. i stared at my own ass from many different angles. i cant believe im revealing that. caffiene is a truth serum. it's almost worse than liquor. hahaha, yeah right.
steph - who cares if you speak softly as long as you're still carrying that big stick around?
if i entertain just one of you a fraction of the amount i entertain myself, i will have not lived in vain. oooh, of course i will live in vain. how else can you live? and yes, this song is about me.
posted by vic
@ 23:47
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also, do all y'all remember around sophomore year, when I used to speak quitely? Do I still do that and you have just learned to ignore that, or have I just stopped that?
posted by Record Album
@ 22:43
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today talia and ella told me that I can't take criticism. This is something that I am well aware of (remember, stephanie can dish it out, but she can't take it?) and proceded to tell me that it's really a good charectaristic to have---to be able to take criticism. And how when people criticize me, I give them such attitude that they become scared to say anything to me the next time. I mean I listen to what people are telling me, I just give them shit for it. Then they said yeah, but then you make people unhappy with you. And I said if people don't have the balls enough to tell me if something's wrong then that's not my problem. They didn't like that at all
posted by Record Album
@ 22:42
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did anybody else see the simpsons tonight? it was really fucked up. im not going to get into it cuz i hate rehashing plotlines but there was one scene in which the reporters of springfield discover that mayor quimby has bought an enormous pool with the money that was supposed to be used to fix potholes. the reporters burst open this door and there is this lavish pool setup complete with bikini clad girls and fountains. very quickly they scroll past a man in a blue worksuit and hat carving a marble statue. on the back of his uniform the words, "city worker" are printed. ive never laughed so hard from anything on tv. the rest of the episode was really strange but there were a lot of internet jokes which were funny. homer gets a webpage and he laments at one point that his counter is actually going down and you see the little box with numbers ticking backwards. that show is fucking brilliant. how can they cater so well to my sense of humor and the rest of america's?
im now drinking this sludge coffee in preparation for the long hall. the thought of staying up late, burning the midnight oil (hahaha), is always much more fun than the actual task. blip blip. im off.
posted by vic
@ 22:27
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i have just realized how much work i have in the next week. It's so much, that I think I am going to cry. In answering your survey vic---masturbation is the best form of procrastination, and I procrastinate a lot.
posted by Record Album
@ 19:49
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i have just realized how much work i have in the next week. It's so much, that I think I am going to cry. In answering your survey vic---masturbation is the best form of procrastination, and I procrastiante a lot.
posted by Record Album
@ 19:48
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karen - your last post is giving me such hope! i have only traipsed in new york once or twice. hopefully your visit will inspire me to change out of these sweaty, smelly clothes and look really cute and go out. we shall have fun my friend. there will be much drinking, dancing and hopefully harassing of men. rrrrowl.
still havent done shit.
i think im gonna have to buy a pack of smokes tonight.
yes, yes a pack of smokes and some coffee. im gonna pull a late nighter. why you ask? oh, cuz i really wanna watch tv now till 10 pm. sunday has a really good tv lineup. simpsons, malcolm, x-files. what more do you need? im a loser, and a user so i dont need no accuser. heheee..ok ill stop with the green day stuff now.
posted by vic
@ 18:43
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Soooo much fun last night. Went to a party at 420 NW 10th street. Met two of the most beautiful hippie boys I've ever seen, both named Ryan. no I was not seeing double, there really were two of them. I was actually brought to the party by this guy Sam, who is from WINNETKA. huh? yeah, he fucking went to grade school and New Trier with Dave Keenan. whoa! I almost forgot about that guy. rrright. It was so nice being in a place where the music of choice was sublime or marley or even led zeppelin not rap. no more rap and/or randb. puhleze. Anyway, I thouroughly enjoyed myself. I can't wait to see you all again. I can't wait to smoke without paranoia in new mexico. I can't wait to traipse all over new york. I can't wait can't wait can't wait can't wait can't wait can't wait can't wait................................
posted by K-Lo
@ 18:20
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i got so excited reading your blog, mark. how much do i love the slackers?
a few surveys for you all:
doesnt the lead singer of soul coughing sound exactly like the three-ring combo of dave matthews, eddie vedder and adam duritz?
is masturbation a whole lot less fun to anyone else out there? i understand you people with roommates and communal showers probably jump at a chance to jerk off in peace, but i have been so disappointed with it lately. this worries me as it was once one of the only things i was really good at (besides smoking cigarettes, right, billy?). nowadays im just so unsatisfied and i basically just use it for procrastination purposes.
also, out of the three (god i feel so fucking lame) sexual experiences ive had while ive been here, only one (the one with the least action) has been enjoyable? FUCK! AM I GETTING RIGID? it's very upsetting; i used to be able to go over a speedbump and need a cigarette afterwards.
i am sorry. this is not the forum in which to ask these questions. if i had any tact or shame i would delete it. but i am actually interested if anybody else has lost the motivation to even go solo?
(oh - i am reminded of that green day song, longview, - "when masturbation's lost its fun you're fucking breaking". yes, i just quoted green day. so what. i just also realized that some of their shit is actually really good in an ironic sorta way so lay off. dammit! emily steark has my dookie cd! blast!)
i am currently in the process of calling kelly and making her sing green day songs for me because i cant remember how they go so well.
that was just the best phone conversation ive ever had. kelly ended up reading the lyrics to every green day song off dookie in this hysterical jack handy meets advertisement meets typical white guy voice. she then began to intersperse the infamous dog voice within the other voice. i nearly wet my pants many times. kelly is the funniest human being i have ever met.
i woke up at 1030 today to do all my work. what have i done? oh...nothing. but i had a really enjoyable day. i keep allowing myself to not do what i need to with the excuse that anytime i actually feel good and alive is worth it. like, i may not have done any of the work that is going to encompass me in the next two weeks and drag me under into a terrifying black hole, but at least i laughed really hard and remembered what it was like to feel incredibly good. so it's okay. i have no balance here. gotta get back to balance. tell you what...i'll balance my life and tape that paul simon album you've been wanting.
slipped my mind. looks like it's gonna be a late night.
posted by vic
@ 18:07
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Tanks an di prazees goh ote to dee hadeest walking bond owt de ... de slockas mon. Fireside was packed last night it was crazy. The Slackers kicked ass, and Deals Gone Bad didn't really get that trashed... it was amazing a night that will live in infamy. After the show I got to talk to Disco Dave I told him they should be doing more dub for they were getting pretty damn close last night to some awesome reggae dub just needed some echo. None the less he said that they infact had made some dub but the vinyl will have more dub than the Cd when it comes out, excellent! Added bonus:Slackers most probably will be coming to the schwilliest of all places Beloit in the spring, pure genious. Bought LGB's new album from none other than the Wren master (four years in the waiting) unfortunately it is the weirdest album ever and really was a dissapointment oh well. Happy Sunday's Jah!
posted by marko
@ 16:01
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sometimes i will check my email 5 minutes after i last checked it. and then i feel dirty and take my steel wool to the shower with me.
posted by vic
@ 09:54
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I have a question for you the public: what does pork in verb form mean? Am in not "with it" because I don't know what this means? I can surmise from the statement "I will pork her" what it means, but I need a lil' clarification here people
posted by Record Album
@ 02:48
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well...that little character doesnt show up so well in this font so ill say it again...i *heart* matt schiltz. but not more than davey.
posted by vic
@ 01:25
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i <3 matt schiltz
matt, tomorrow i will respond to your email but im too tired at the moment and i have to get up mad early to do work in the morning.
i do so love making sundays the day of communication. it's the one good thing about being separated from everyone i love. 4 days till my huge urban sociology paper. 10 days till my huge anais nin criticism. 11 days till karen. 17 days till i never have to look at math again. 18 days till home. i love counting, lists and sweet apprehension. im very excited about going home cuz ill have me a fake id and like becky said, "chicago has never seen this kind of technology." it's the barfly's life for me sweet home chicago stylee! goodnight all my friends and lovers. i will be seeing you all soon!
posted by vic
@ 01:23
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