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Saturday, December 02, 2000
i am becoming increasingly creepy in my old age. i have a ton of work and for some reason i have decided to do all kinds of mental patient/anti-social things to avoid doing any of it. today i put on my light blue halter, a pair of white boys cut underwear, sexworker boots, a psychedelic print scarf around my waist, really elaborate drag-queen makeup and my green wig. i then danced around to sleater-kinney's, "dig me out" and took around 60 pictures of the entire ordeal on my digital camera. i have no idea how long this process took. i seem to lose track of time a lot doing things i cant explain. am i creative, perhaps, eccentric if you will, or insane?
i yelled at a stranger in the bar last night for switching the juke box when sublime was playing. we later made up.
i also did other stupid things including telling mark's roommate that i heard he was "one hot ticket". i feel like eventually i am going to be found out, precisely for saying things like that, and everybody is going to simultaneously yell, "we knew it! you are nothing but some weirdo scandanavian minnesota soccermom!" and then i am going to scream "yes! yes i am! why else would i be wearing this sweater with these tapered leg jeans!?" and run away in shame.
what the hell was i talking about? just watched "party girl". fabulous as always. i think of the farrelly's everytime i see it because of frankie and molly's excellent impression of parker posey singing the lebanese music.
last night ted said that the fact that i love where im from is really attractive. it made me feel like i was representing the city of chicago while we made out. im not going to pretend i didnt like it. i will serve my city the best way i can. heehee...
so im working at cdot again over christmas. i figure although it would probably pay the same as morningfield's, after you deduct parking, transportation and lunch money spent to get downtown, marilyn will probably never hire me again since she has the url to this and knows all of my dirty deeds. it isn't easy being a guttermouth, but somebody has to do it.
posted by vic
@ 22:17
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I need to get out of Canada. This place is sucking the life out of me. I have that feeling of "what the hell am I doing in college?! Am I here just so I can be set up for a job and then marry and have kids and be a boring person?!" Some might call this teen angst. Today we saw a preview for Canadian Bacon and I don't think that I have laughed so hard in a very very long time.
posted by Record Album
@ 21:28
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from behind these beer goggles, new york doesn't look half bad
yesterday mark and i went to see "dark days", a documentary about the people who live under the subways (molepeople, if you will). it was extremely well done and really focused on the human nature to need a home and the ability to turn even the most horrid of environments into a personal space. the whole thing was really interesting and there was an excellent soundtrack which included a lot of electronica and jungle-ish stuff by dj shadow. i do not know dj shadow, though. (dj spooky is another thing altogether. thank you lisa menninger).
so the movie was fabulous and then i went over to find ted (my old friend emily cikanek's ex-boyfriend..hmmm...) at the barney building which is where the nyu studio art department lives. the building itself is incredible. at the center of it are two old winding staircases which are surrounded by many rooms of different sizes on each floor. each room had been divided up into dozens of tiny studio spaces and each studio space housed a different artists crazy pomo art. floors one through six were open studios and there were tons of good looking art people smoking and drinking and lounging about on randomly placed couches. i had to take a man-run cage elevator to the sixth floor. this little disheveled looking man operated it and someone had put this fake plastic ivy all around the iron perimeter by the ceiling. when it was going fast past all the floors the ivy blurred into this green against the background of the floors flying by so you get the impression of going to a magic garden/labryinth place. i started at the sixth floor and worked my way down to the ground stopping at each floor and wandering through all these strangers and art looking for ted. it was so wonderful i began to hope i would never find him and never get to the bottom. some places were quiet and some were like parties. i saw david bowie yelling through a bullhorn and a magnified photo of a tiny portion of a pink couch cushion where the fabric comes together that looked more like a vagina then any nudie shot ive ever seen. it was all incredible and i enjoyed myself immensely. especially when i began to pretend that i was a mysterious art woman (well, i was wearing all black) who was lost in a crazy parallel land of art looking for some other magical, mystery art person. but i found ted instead.
together we found where his friend was exhibiting her photographs/not completed box series. not impressed. the color was really well done in her pictures but there was nothing innovative or particularly interesting about it. then ted and i went to dinner in little india which was delicious. he tried to convince me to stay in new york till he realized that it was kinda futile. after rehearsing the scene in which i give my fake id (gillian's old fake id..double fake whammy) to the bouncer at josie wood's, an nyu bar, we finally made it over there and werent even carded. the whole rehearsal was a ton of fun though and much worth it. ted had one line - "id". at the bar we talked with his other friend (he's damn sociable) and drank a lot. out of nowhere, mark and his rag-tag bunch of friends from home came in already drunk and that spiced up the evening quite a bit. mark introduced me to all his friends as "his best friend at nyu! she's a writer!" and it was very precious. i had a great time and was grabbed and touched more than i have been in months. i dont know who that fellow with the tounge ring was but he was well accustomed with my upper thigh by the end of the night. i realized i kinda miss drinking in that type of bullshit but fun setting now and then. it was good fun and all the faces were smiling and sweaty. ahhh...the sweet sweat of drunks. i interacted with girls in the ladie's room (another phenomenon i want to engage in much more). there were four girls and they were talking shit about some "75 pounds and hideous" chick. they were basically complaining that she was too skinny and ridiculous and i go,"yeah, that bitch" and all of them agreed and no one bothered to ask me how i knew her or what i was doing in their conversation. after one said that said thingirl "only looked good in pictures", i suggested that they make her wear a paper bag over her head when she goes out. they all responded very eagerly to this idea and so perhaps somewhere right now there is a very thin girl walking down 6th avenue with a paper bag over her head and only two eyeholes cut out with which to navigate.
by the end of the night i was piss drunk and i had managed to smoke all night long without having a pack of my own cigarettes. if you ask people for cigarettes in a charming but aggressive manner (as if they, of course, would give you a cigarette) i.e. "so which one of you kids has got my cigarette?" they will give them to you no questions asked and probably not think twice abuot it. perhaps it's not charming so much as it is demanding. either way, most people tend not to argue with demands too much. i think most people are raised to do what they're asked of. either way, i walk home drunk with ted, yada yada yada, this morning i signed him out.
oh now, i know he is my old friend's ex-boyfriend but really, it was nothing. we made out a bit but there was no game playing and we were both so drunk it barely matters. plus, i realized that i am extemely unattracted to people whose only sexual experience comes from a long-term relationships. their moves have all been designed and perfected on one body which is not mine. they also tend to be not as much fun and experimental. the good thing about boys who have only been in relationships is that you can take them anywhere. it's reaping the fruits of some other poor girl's years of labor. i dont want to ever have to train a boy to know how to act in a civilized (read: human) manner, but i sure as hell dont mind going out with one who already knows every now and then. i didnt have to entertain ted. he wasnt helpless and clueless and floundering like a lot of boys. i had a ton of fun with ted and i would love to call him again and get a beer or do fun things but i know what the ideal is for me and i have trouble accepting other things now. ideally, whoever i am with and i exist in some magic, created mind-world in which the outside world isnt even a consideration and doesnt look the same anyway. i love it when someone makes you look at things differently. yes, that's my fave.
if anyone read this far i would be surprised. maybe i should say a bunch of crazy things right now cuz nobody will ever get this far anyway. yeah, whatever...like you dont already know im crazy! hahah!
point is: great night, good times, most boys are too easy, im going to put on girl punk now and dance around naked with elaborate makeup and my green wig on singing aggressive hot songs to the one i love. me. hahahaha. oooh, you thought i was kidding!?
posted by vic
@ 16:59
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I am in such a time-space conundrum right now. Friday night, we watched "This is Spinal Tap" which I didn't think was "raginly funny" as the cool kids are prone to saying. I go to sleep at 1 am for a few hours. I wake up at around 4 for another few hours and have trouble getting to sleep. Since its already around 7 I feel like just getting up, but instead I fall back asleep and wake up at 5 PM PEOPLE!!! It felt like 5 minutes, but it was really 10 hours!!!! ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Record Album
@ 16:43
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vicki, that is so crzy that you decided to listen to yer headphones on the way to class today because that is exactly what I decided to do today. I was listening to Kid A the whole way there, pretending I was a robot. I couldn't decide whether kid a was filled with emotion or devoid on it, so i eventually decided that i was going to pretend i was a robot with emotion.....emo-bot if you will. walking ant listening to music is really a great thing. i'm going to do it all the time here from now on.
posted by rayve nation
@ 02:58
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i'm up at school. thank god, i miss this. i went to my first real party here, the "players ball". fabulous. much better than i expected. much fun dancing, perfect music. as for now, i think we are going down to seth's room to watch his movie. love you kids.
posted by marisa jo
@ 02:57
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Friday, December 01, 2000
AND Carla just told me that "this carly simon song is really wierd, because she is saying that he's so vain that he thinks the song is about him, but the song really IS about him!" wow. I tell ya, what's lower than chimps? Because I am living with them
posted by Record Album
@ 19:25
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The roommates are just killin' me today. My mom sent me home with probably 300 little pieces of ukrainian food---either pierogies, potato pancakes, or these spinach things. Talia decided that it would be great to have a pierogie party, invite all sorts of people, and wrangle me out of my nice warm bed. Now after a few days of minimal sleep, the first thing I want is someone's ass on my face asking me how you warm up pierogies. Those assholes wanted me to warm the fucking pierogies up!! Have they no disjointed thumbs with which to press the microwave buttons?! Did they really think that taking out 12 bags of pierogies and putting them on the table was gonna do the trick?! I'm not worried though, they will get their just desserts, as drinking hard liquer and eating by now rancid pierogies is a little combination I like to call "kharma"
posted by Record Album
@ 19:20
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i had no idea how active george's message boards at lightblueextra had become. but this thread about will county warms my heart like no other. although i must say that the fact that there is a member named "will county softcore" is really the best part of it all. other than that, it's suburban kids bitching, and i'm really not interested.
posted by marisa jo
@ 15:12
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Marisa -Sorry to say it wasn't Sam for once. Although the kid blacked out I believe the day before this one and got written up ... funny stuff that can only be described in person.
And the special news of the day is The Slackers are playing at the Fireside (speaking of fires) tomorrow. I'm going to not only see these fabulous people (VIc I remember being too late for your phone call last time) but to show a Greecian friend of mine the fireside and the Slackers together for the first time(for him atleast). What an experience for one greecian to possibly be able to contain.
ihsdvihdsvklhdsv
posted by marko
@ 14:17
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ooh steph, you are forgetting who my mother is! she has said that song (carly simon, you're so vain) is about every man she ever married.
i had a wonderful morning. i did something really kinda creepy that i cant put into writing (it's TOO creepy i do believe) last night after talking to mike about crushes. regardless, this creepy act resulted in me waking up smiling like a pig in shit, partially because the thing itself made me smile and the fact that i did it made me laugh even more. i didnt shower before class so i could sleep as long as possible and i didnt freak out about being late either, i just left when i felt like it. i decided i was going to listen to headphones on the way there and i grabbed a little mix called, "turnabout 99!" for the walk. i fast forwarded to the sugarcubes, "birthday" but mike, who made the mix, must have thought he was tres clever by putting a hidden track on there. imagine my surprise when the theme from shaft came blasting through the headphones. there is nothing like listening to shaft whilst walking down a new york street to put everything in perspective. you cant take yourself seriously with those strings in the background! (shut yo mouth!) it was fabulous. i laughed the entire way there. after my awful recitation which i hate more than anything else, i put the tape back on and was immediately made happy again by the "im horny/miami" remix which followed. i was half embarassed to be listening to will smith speeded up and half in love with the idea. all i could do was laugh in near hysterics as i walked down the street. finally im beginning to feel like the happy-crazy person i used to be instead of the scary-crazy-upset weirdo ive been dipping into lately. a "tell me are you that somebody" remix by alliyah, skee-lo, "i wish", and new order, "temptation" follow on the tape. i will never be sad again.
some guy tried to harass me outside of my building while i was wearing the headphones. he was on a bike. the headphones were so loud he had to have been able to hear the song blaring through them but that didnt stop him from following me. he kept saying something but i just kept yelling, "im sorry! i cant hear you! what? what?" and pointing at the headphones. he laughed. i laughed. it was great. now i am off to see a documentary on the molepeople. muwahhaah.
posted by vic
@ 14:08
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steph: carly simon's "you're so vain". DUH. when i read your mental-image of me reading your mcdonalds blurb and i was trying not to laugh and then i made this very funny sound as i cracked up. that happens a lot here. i hate to make sound cause it's quiet and weird.
and, mark -- the fire at chapin -- are you sure this was some girl, some "lovely person"? it would only make sense for shady-sam to be involved. please fabricate a tale in which he blazes the dorm, even if only to humour me.
an italian engineer named marco was in the office earlier. he was so deliciously italian: spoke poor english, smiled at me a lot. mmm. have i mentioned i haven't had any "play" since i was in new yawk? and none worth really talking about since august? i hate hormones. grrr, damn you, hormones.
posted by marisa jo
@ 13:57
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Today my favorite line ever is "your hat strategically dipped below one eye, your scarf it was apricot" now, who will be the lucky winner and guess who sang it and what song its from??
Also--the results of the ass wiping survey are about 15 to 4 or so multiple wipers to single wipers. Apparently, multiple wipers, there are many of you out there which I wasn't previously aware of.
posted by Record Album
@ 13:34
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I completely realize that I have screwed myself here by only acknowledging some homies, but not all. But the fans have come out of the woodwork now haven't they?! Becky---a man does not live by bread alone---only you know what I mean by that...(I know you really don't, it's just a cheap ploy to lure more fans!!!)
My sister is having a terrible time in prague right now and she hates teaching english, which, after taxes is giving her a measly 3 dollars an hour to live on. She said she has eaten at mcdonald's* 6 times this week!
*McDonald's--marisa--she was informed of the book. I just imagined you reading this and then reading the word "mcdonald's" and everything in your room/ cubicle going biserk a la pee wee herman's word of the day deal.
posted by Record Album
@ 13:27
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Here is a great story for the Beloit record books. I'm just gettin down to sweet sweet sleep I have just started to enter that dreamy land and then ... what else could happen but a lovely fire. Nothing like waking from a dreamy haze to the crazy sound of an alarm, with the smell of smoke to add that extra realness. Turns out a lovely person emptied her ashes into the waste basket outside when the ashes were not ashed out. DIdn't get back inside till 4:30 or so and have been up ever since. Being up for 24 hours is fun, I think I'm moving at a pace of two steps to the gallon, or whatever you call it these days, which is nothing since they haven't invented that system yet, I guess I'm ahead of the times ... crazy.
Karen- I don't think a letter will help poor 94.7(I can't believe they are keeping that Kevin Matthews guy though) although it did for Kettle chips (plug number one), got two free bags a couple of months or maybe just a month ago.
Fiddle sticks
posted by marko
@ 10:54
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i take a different route to and from work everyday. it's just what i like to do. anyway, today i passed an office with a large sign reading "GORDON FLESCH". i think it may have been a law firm. but does a law firm really need such a blatantly pornographic title? it is obvious, right? or am i just a pervert? that's quite possible, i know.
posted by marisa jo
@ 09:50
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well folks, it is officially the winter of discontent. (i'm not really discontented, just consider that some sort of shout out to my homeboy mark.) snow, glorious snow. i never really used to like it. but now i do.
oh, vicki! the women's center is reacting just as i'd dreamed! how exciting! keep us updated, as i enjoy living vicariously through others.
i saw kathy last night and it was one of our "lighthearted" sessions, which i always enjoy. she tells me stories, and i love that. among my favorite are the tales of her before the age of sixteen. they all start off with her stealing the family's jeep and joyriding into some wacky adventure in rural connecticut. she's a riot.
you're right, mike. crushes really are fabulous, and i need to stop denying that and just enjoy it.
posted by marisa jo
@ 09:09
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the 12 page paper is so near completion I love it! meanwhile there was such a soap opera that I missed last night, but I can't quite disclose it now, because I fear the roommates secretely keep track of me by reading the monster, just as the united states government is keeping track of me by constantly filming me (vicki--you're the only one who might understand the fact that I'm swearing at the ceiling vent....think back to the blue angel) Uh yeah, so anyways, I got so much pleasure out of that denim on denim reminder and it was particularly funny because I have had 8 hours of sleep total for 2 days and 2 nights. I'm semi-clean now, but yesterday I had been in the same clothes for again, 2 days and 2 nights.
Oh vic-please keep posting those e-mails, for I love them
posted by Record Album
@ 08:02
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fuck, vicki. I just remembered that list of actors we made one day. I don't have it anymore because my computer crashed! how upsetting is that? I hope you have a copy, cuz I really wanna post it.
posted by rayve nation
@ 02:10
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Man, isn't it wonderful when you have the perfect crush? I'm not talking about just physical attraction. I'm talking about when you meet someone, and you are in awe of their existence. every expression they make, every wrinkle on their skin...you could see yourself having a conversation with that person for the rest of time. and you don't eveen need to make out with them; you just want to hold them and sink into their flesh, letting yourself go. fucking denim on denim (thank you frankie). I'm totally crushed out (as that dog would put it)
posted by rayve nation
@ 01:41
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i love you mike ray because you are the only person i can discuss the wonderful bittersweet pangs of unrequited love on a long distance phone call with. i mean, i guess i could with other people but it's just so damn delicious with you! goodnight all my friends! thanks for the eclaire becks!
posted by vic
@ 01:39
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so goodnight, yin, and good day, yang, yin and yang the life-force gang. - barefoot doctor (please go buy this book. it's important. you'll thank yourself later!)
posted by vic
@ 01:38
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Thursday, November 30, 2000
the womyn's center listserve is already getting in a tizzy over the article. and they will be in an even bigger bustle when they realize i'm on it and have read their nasty emails reprinted here for your convienence:
To: "Womyns Center Info"
Date: Thu, 30 Nov 2000 18:15:27 -0500
Subject: Re: WSN
Reply-to: "Womyns Center Info"
Add Addresses
Yeah, I agree. That article was kind of fucked and submissive. I thnk
what she really wanted was a women's support group, not a women's
activist group. I'm not going to go off on all the stupid stuff she
said
and what I think, because I'm sure you all are thinking it too. I'm
think writing a response would be appropriate rae.
Love and butt dances,
name withheld for her own good.
To: "Womyns Center Info"
Subject: WSN
Reply-to: "Womyns Center Info"
Add Addresses
Hey grrrlies,
So everyone must pick up the WSN and read the fucked up article
written
about us by some chick I never heard of. We definately have to write
something in response. I am down for writing a letter to negate all her
points than use that as a way to also use the WSN to voice our opinons
on
our grievance. If anyone else is down, gimmie a call.
-still wanting to riot
yes, it is exactly what i suspected they would do.
becky, deanine, laura and i went to silver spurs tonight (frigging 14 dollars for shitty american food...never again) and becky overheard two of the more militant members of the center itself discussing what she believes to be the article and how they were going to take action or some other such nonsense.
im not even really concerned they have already been so foolish about the entire thing. if i prensented them with a forum with which to state their grievances, so much the better. they should have gone to the paper in the first place.
my mom asked me if they were going to physically hurt me! how cute is that! i had to explain that while nyc is a little scary at times, it isnt a warzone, and nyu and the womyn's center are not dangerous! then she asked me if they were going to ask me to be their new leader! hahaha...she's so great. she knows me like no other human being. that is the most comforting thing in the world. i miss her so much. more than i can ever say. she made me realize that although coming here has been hard and whatever, i am exactly where i am supposed to be on my path at this moment. i love her cuz she always brings me back.
ahh...now off to bed to think about good things and 21 more days. (which, is incidentally 7 less than 28 there, sandra bullock)
posted by vic
@ 23:11
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Here's a question I would like all y'all to answer: If you see an offensive sign or poster on a dorm hall wall should you pull it down or ignore it? I don't know what I should do.
posted by rayve nation
@ 22:39
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stephanie, in response to your web poll, I would of course do bill clinton because he is a dirty old man. Kelly, why don't you just change your password or get your internet boyfriend to fix the problem for you?
posted by rayve nation
@ 21:31
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Yeah so, appearently some Trogan Horse program steal my password long time. Ah well. I haven't been able to look at the monster lately, thank you password stealing scum, so i'm not gonna comment on anything cause i'm too tired to read it. I did read the commentary about the feminist center that will get vicki lynched, however. The article makes sense. I dig it. I so tired of school. Today i convinced myself terrorists were pumping carbon monoxide into the vents of the school. I swear i felt dizzy! Anyway, i spent more than half my biology period debating whether or not i should get a pass to the bathroom and save myself. I can't believe ABC radio! Don't make me turn to 97.9, because nobody wants that. Granted, i only turned to 94.7 after i couldn't find anything on 5 other stations, but still, i need my number 6 fallback. eh. i guess this is old bloggin news though. I got my senior pictures today. I think they accidently sent me Jodie Sweetin's.
posted by Kelljoy
@ 17:01
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earlier today my boss had me go to office max and buy hundreds of pounds of paper. and let me tell ya, pushing around a shopping cart filled with such amounts of paper ain't easy. who knew? i was glad to take this task:
a)it got me out of the office.
b) i could get high.
c) i only had one cigarette left.
d) i got to forge a signature, and that's always fun.
now my boss is yelling at people with lots of bad words. he's such a jerk, he cracks me up. one hour, nineteen minutes left. also, ive become re-addicted to ebay muwhaha.
posted by marisa jo
@ 14:40
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my article was just printed. im still right...but im a little nervous because the article is billed as "womyn's center strays from its original ideals" which is not what i was saying really. that makes it sound like i know what their original ideals were, which i dont. i was more saying they're doing a poor job at representin'. that's all.
i just watched the funniest kids in the hall episode of all time. why wont they all make sweet love to me?
i also realized that i love everything to come out of chicago that much more. chicago literature? yes. chicago architecture. uh-huh. chicago...funnymen? you bet. that link is jokes, folks. i was thinking more about my boyfriend, bill murray when i wrote that. just as you cannot take tupac outta california, you cannot take me out of chicago. and if you did, what would i rap about?
signing off for naptime and deluding myself much more than anyone else...
posted by vic
@ 14:09
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also, I am very perturbed by the fact that 94.7 is gone!!! After all those years of listening to it and hating it in john's car on the way to school sitting in the backseat with k-dawg while freezing wind pelted against my face... and now I finally got an appreciation for it, and it's gone. that really blows.---BUT, I was "perusing" the xrt website and noticed that a) all my favorites like frank e lee and johnny mars could have probably gone to school with my parents (b/c they're old, people)
I very much like how up and running the monster has become all the sudden. Everyone is posting again and happy or at least deluding everyone else with their faux-happy acts.
Speaking of graduation day....today I remembered that I hugged Monsieur Sapp on graduation day when everyone was exiting the building and I laughed out loud. ha ha---smell ya later sapp-meister (vicki--that's for you, I had forgotten all about this game---what year is that phrase from?)
Next in survey's is this: who would you rather do (yes marisa, so stolen from you, but none of the roommates knew) bill clinton, george w. bush or stockwell day? Oh, who has the advantage now?! It's me, because I live in Canada, I know who stockwell day is and would definitely do him over the other two!!! (hmm..snot much?)
And I would just like to give a shout out to the biggest fan EVER matt schiltz. If this were "circa 1992" and we were on the arsenio hall show, I would make those hoo hoo sounds and shake my fist with fury!
posted by Record Album
@ 12:49
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Oh this is so bad and sorry of me, but I didn't get any sleep last night. I haven't slept in more than 24 hours (in a way it's refreshing) and yet I have 4 more pages to write of my 12 page paper due in one half hour. So this morning, I call my sister in prague in a big panic on what the hell should I do, now that procrastibation (ooh, alicia's sister made that up--procrastination and masturbation all in one! brilliance!) has truly bitten me in the ass. First she tells me to call my TA and tell her that my grandma died...a little too much I say. So instead I go to health services and get a note. Yes I finally did it. It's the end of the road folks and I'm gettin' off here.
posted by Record Album
@ 12:37
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marisa - that article on the dope-fiend monkeys is fabulous. if we were dope-fiend monkeys in labs (if...hahaha) you would be named "shiftless", and i would be "anomie". mike, of course, would be "slippery slope", although he'd have to fight stephanie for it since if i recall, they both were quite enamoured of that term circa 1999.
the dizzines has gotten much better but now ive noticed that it is connected to sitting at the computer which makes me so sad as this computer is my best friend. i love you computer. why do you want to hurt me so?
i havent seen keith richards in ages.
posted by vic
@ 11:56
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When back for the "THanks" I did notice something odd about the 94.7 station as it appeared to be very cock rock orientated and preferred to stick to my lovely dead tapes instead for the remainder of the stay. Patti Haze you will be sorely missed, seriously man what a voice. McDOnaldization the only book I think I've actually red on time every day, what a great book ... AMerica you lazy fucks.
Vic-give em hell damnit
Mike-four weeks ago I actually sold that Agent 99 record to a record store if I had only known
Ear aches ... I used to have them all the time circa 3 years old maybe even earlier to about age 8 man did those suck
adios
posted by marko
@ 11:02
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94.7 has just gone "eighties", i dunno, read the article. speaking of articles... this article feeds my latest obsession, mcdonaldization, brought on by george ritzer's book, which was assigned for my sociology class. i read it last week, since i wasn't there to get that far into the class.
this one is about pot smoking monkeys. they seem very familiar...
okay. why am i posting so much today?
posted by marisa jo
@ 10:41
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hmmm, marisa. I am confused as to exactly what format 94.7 is following. Is it 80s hair/cock rocky bands, or 80s new wavey bands? there's a slight but important difference.
posted by rayve nation
@ 10:25
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also, Only 17 days left until Keith Richard's birthday, vicki. get him something good.
why am i such a weirdo today?
all work and no play makes marisa a wacky kid. all work and no play makes marisa a wacky kid.
all work and no play makes marisa a wacky kid.
all work and no play makes marisa a wacky kid.
all work and no play makes marisa a wacky kid.
all work and no play makes marisa a wacky kid.
also, dig the article. well done. and like i said, don't worry, they won't find you. anonimity is good sometimes, and this is one of those times.
posted by marisa jo
@ 10:10
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shit. i wish i wasn't such a liar. the article doesn't cost anything if you look for it yourself. here it is. sorry, i'll stop it with this silly business.
posted by marisa jo
@ 10:04
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big news from chicagoland, folks. brace yourself. last night i dropped my sister off somewhere (the woods, i think), and on the way home i decided to step outside my npr box and see what else was on the radio. i tuned into my old friend (and yours!) CD 94.7. here, i found met at work crooning about "vegemite sandwiches". i wondered when this eighties aussie supergroup was designated "classic rock". then i had this terrible dream in which the station was bought out and/or changing formats. this is the theme of many sitcoms throughout history, as well as some films. the ending of some sort of rock and roll institution. i wondered if and when xrt will perish, and thought about how sad that will be. then i thought about the movie "airheads" because it is funny and involves a radio station, and features such favorites as steve buscemi and adam sandler. (and brendan fraser, if you're vicki.) i was snapped out of this weird wandering of mind when an unfamiliar voice told me i was listening to 94.7 THE ZONE. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!? my sick fantasy came true. no more delightfully raspy-voiced patti haze! no more late night sanctuaries with allan stagg (which i had just enjoyed the evening prior)! i almost cried. i hastily rushed to put a cd on. i was a block away from my house. i wanted to call uncle matt to see if he knew about this and was as outraged as me, but i couldn't find his number. sad times.
this morning i fell in love with sublime's "doggone blues" all over again. it has an especially good version of "what i got" followed by a dub version of "garden grove" and another dub track. splendid. i think sublime puts me in a better mood to sit in a chair for eight hours than elliott smith does.
holy shit. i just read this in a tribune headline :Without a word of warning to its staff Wednesday, ABC Radio changed the format of classic rock station WXCD-FM 94.7 to a 1980s rock music format and fired its on-air staff, with the exception of those on Kevin Matthews' morning show. Among those told to pack their bags were veteran Chicago on-air personalities Bob Stroud, Patti Haze and Allan Stagg... apparently i have to PAY three bones to read that article (why?) so that's all i can tell you folks. although i am quite sure no one else cares about this, so i will go cry under my desk now.
posted by marisa jo
@ 10:01
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Nice article Vicki. I liked it.
geeze. It's 2 am. I just got home. what was I doing you ask? drinking? shmoking? no, no silly. I was at the radio station listening to music. ya see, I'm interning at this radio show to eventuallt get my own college radio show. The thing is, it is a reggae show. I get 30 min to play whatever I want. But I have to play fucking reggae or ska. I was looking for songs to play, and I sort of got side tracked. I found this agent 99 anthology that I have had my eyes on for years. I think they might be my favorite ska band. there's just something about 'em. anyway....I got sidetracked because I discovered a whole new world of vinyl. I found all these nice singles from tricky and massive attack.gawd, I *heart* massive attack. unfinished sympathy is my favorite song of all time. sometimes it drops a few ranks, but I always return to it. blissfull bliss.I can't wait for this semester to be over. just a few more weeks. I gotta hang in there. goodnight.
posted by rayve nation
@ 01:26
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Wednesday, November 29, 2000
Yeah so, appearently some Trogan Horse program steal my password long time. Ah well. I haven't been able to look at the monster lately, thank you password stealing scum, so i'm not gonna comment on anything cause i'm too tired to read it. I did read the commentary about the feminist center that will get vicki lynched, however. The article makes sense. I dig it. I so tired of school. I can't believe ABC radio! Don't make me turn to 97.9, because nobody wants that. Granted, i only turned to 94.7 after i couldn't find anything on 5 other stations, but still, i need my number 6 fallback. eh. i guess this is old bloggin news though. I got my senior pictures today. I think they accidently sent me Jodie Sweetin's pics.
posted by Kelljoy
@ 22:55
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oh man, my cousin just sent me this too funny mp3. It's an industrial remix of that depeche mode song "all i ever really wanted, all i ever needed is here..." except it's like Joe American singing---Oh god, you people have to hear this!!! How do I send downloads?!
posted by Record Album
@ 17:49
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oh - the washington square news is NYU's newspaper which is also distributed in the neighborhood washington square park area.
i am so dizzy. i just want to lay in my bed with my dizzy head and listen to the pixies all night long. but that's not going to happen. thanks for the kind words.
posted by vic
@ 17:41
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Wow. That is a nice article. Who are those people who are publishing it again?
posted by egeus
@ 17:33
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so - im going to be published in the washington square news. i wrote this editorial for my writing workshop class in which i discuss how poorly the womyn's center has been representing itself in their fight to keep their office open. last night in some high fog, i emailed the paper to the washington square news never thinking they'd look at it let alone publish it. but they are. and i am already preparing myself for the onslaught of angry attacks from the grrrls over at the center which are surely going to come. gillian says they are going to attack my femininity first and the fact that im a freshman next. yikes.
here's a copy of the article in case anyone's interested -
The Womyn’s Center at NYU is losing its office. An altercation occurred last year when the then president, a senior, distributed a flyer to a Resident Assistant in the Weinstein lobby and questioned him on if he had raped a fellow student. The student filed a grievance against the Womyn’s Center for a flyering violation. The group had already received a previous flyering violation and a violation for smoking in the office. Based on these actions, The Student Activities Board Grievance Committee ruled that the Womyn’s Center should lose their office. The fact that the only feminist group on campus is losing their office for minor offenses brings into question the underlying motives and politics behind the decision. What is more disturbing than the seemingly patriarchal and oppressive nature of the rulings is the way in which the Womyn’s Center has publicly responded to this through a backlash campaign that when deconstructed amounts to little more than propaganda. Their demand for an anarchist revolution provides little insight into what the consequences of these actions, and what the intended result for such actions would be. The Womyn’s Center doesn’t need NYU to try to destroy them; with their poor self-representation and misguided attempts at action they are well on their way to destroying themselves.
On Wednesday, November 1, 2000, the Womyn’s Center set up a table inside the College of Arts and Science Main Building to hand out fliers supporting their cause. The fliers, printed on bright orange and hot pink paper, boldly displayed the quote, “the people, UNITED, will never be defeated”. After briefly explaining the incident in which the Womyn’s Center came to lose their office, the flyer quickly turns to make huge generalizations about the similarity between the Womyn’s Center’s plight and the struggle of the graduate students to unionize as they are both being “stifled by NYU’s bullshit”. They also attempt to link themselves with queers, union organizers, and unnamed student organizations through NYU’s “attempt to stall and suppress radical campus activism”. The flier ends in the traditional Womyn’s Center calling for people who want to “fuck shit up” to come to the weekly Wednesday meetings. The final sentence questions the reader if they too, “wanna RIOT?” Written in smaller type below the flier is the current address of the Center and what could be easily construed as the mission statement of Womyn’s Center – “we want to help build a broader based coalition of students, campus groups, and faculty willing to take a stand against nyu’s bureaucracy and backlash”. There is no mention of what the Womyn’s Center did for its members or the NYU community before this ruling and the losing of its office, and there is no discussion of current or future projects that would benefit the community and for which an office is necessary. The only condition on which the flier attempts to gain support is that the Womyn’s Center is being oppressed and stifled by NYU, and according to the flier, so is everyone else.
The Womyn’s Center expects to be able to use seditious methods to incite “riots” against NYU, but also to be provided an office space by them. If they are going to focus on doing underground, anarchist work, it seems that losing their office would help them on their way to a more authentic space in which to do this. The Womyn’s Center has lost what its true focus should be – creating a safe space for women and a sub-community in which women empower each other and organize effective methods to make their presence known and respected within the larger NYU community. The group’s new motto of “we have to fuck shit up”, their ineffective methods of protest, and lack of any conceivable purpose or mission further incriminate them as anarchist rebels with no real issues to prove except for a blind hatred of the University they attend.
What the Womyn’s Center failed to mention in the flyer is that they are currently organizing events for “Womyn’s Herstory Month” and for African American History Month. They also did not state that the University has awarded them in previous years for excellence in leadership. It is necessary for there to be a safe space within the University that women can go to receive encouragement and support by other women and in which feminist issues can be addressed. The Womyn’s Center is justified in their fight to keep their office space. What is not justified is the means in which they have gone about trying to fight the University’s decision. A return to the original ideals behind the Womyn’s Center needs to occur. The Womyn’s Center should heed their own advice that they boldly printed on the top of their flyer and unite themselves - not against NYU, but for a place in which women’s issues and ideas are discussed and put forth into effective action.
posted by vic
@ 17:20
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ah yes---I am just getting over an earish sinus infection, so this is what I know from me old man. If you have a small cold and then go on a plane, the pressure will turn it into a much harsher sickness. And about the ear infection being the cause of dizziness, I knew this girl who had such a bad infection when she was 5 that she had to wear a helmet for a month because she'd take a few steps and fall. he he, better luck to you vic! my mom said that it can be from smoking and/or drinking too much coffee.
posted by Record Album
@ 16:04
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marisa - a really awful pain in your ear is what an earache feels like. hence the ear and the ache. it can be triggered by airplanes, poking in your ear, sinus infections, colds, and smoking a lot. i have now figured out that my dizziness is the result of either an inner ear infection (the center of all balance. at least that's what my tattoo says) brought on by traveling or positional vertigo brought on by nothing but depression and paranoia. have i gone to the doctor? no. for they will shoot down all my internet and home medical advisor based knowledge and send me home with penicilian or some other such placebo. that's right - penicilian is a lie people. now back to my veggie stix and my book (the reading is making the dizziness worse...if only this could be a wonderful excuse and not a terrifying reality).
posted by vic
@ 15:33
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how did I forget chris? chris has been a big fan from the start. sorry chris man
posted by Record Album
@ 14:56
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i think i'd use this computer here at work more if the mouse wasn't so goddamn loud. my machine is still in shambles. monday night i installed the new drives but had some troubles with the configuration. i also have three leftover screws. i am a mastermind of hardware efficiency. i was too high to be interested in dealing with a tech over the phone, so i said i'd deal with it tuesday evening. well, i went to evan's instead. so tonight i shall give it another stab. stab. stab. i would have preferred that they would have just had me take it to a nearby service center to be fixed in a few days instead of doing it myself and taking several weeks. fuck d.i.y., i miss my computer. (it's not technolust, it's technolove?)
as soon as it is back up and running i want to post a few items about last week (including the latest pseudo-incident involving chicago's funnyman), reply to a buttload of emails (i'm working on it), work on the new layout for this site (i've got some idears, finally), and re-do the now defunct range-life. rrright.
at work the past few days, around one o'clock i start to feel very lightheaded and weird and sleepy and gassy. i think it's because i sit still in this chair for eight hours a day, doing nothing. i am atrophying. don't get me wrong, i think it's swell, but doing nothing all day truly is tiring.
and what does an earache feel like? occasionally i get these really awful pains in my ears for days at a time but i've never gone to the doctor about it. i remember in gradeschool other kids always had earaches and i felt sort of jealous cause i never had one. i can, however, boast being the first kid on the schoolyard with mono and an ulcer.
now i must go to attend to my third task of the day (bringing a stack of papers to tom; task#1, copying a document & #2, faxing said document - is that just one task?)
posted by marisa jo
@ 14:15
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Oh and listen to this crazy quote from a 1972 book on heroin:
The call that rips you from complacency and tells you the cold, neon, streetcorner truth: your kid has been arrested; your kid is a junkie. Your daughter--the lovely, clear-eyed child who was going to marry a nice, attractive, sensible, hard-working young man, who was going to give you grandchildren and comfort in your old age--well...she ran off with a greasy slob on a motorcycle. When he got tired of fucking her, he split, so now she is turning tricks on the street, hustling for enough bread to cop a balloon.
posted by Record Album
@ 13:12
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Naw naw naw. You see, I feel better and calmer if I go and chill in a church by myself for a little bit. It has nothing to do with heaven or any of that shit
posted by Record Album
@ 13:06
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steph: yes. yes, I can. And what's your definition of 'immersed.' I never claimed to know everything about religion, but I know enough to see that it's bad. Going to college has been my first public school experience ever. I went to a Christian school for preschool and kindergarten, a Catholic grade school and a Jesuit high school. In that time both of my parents have tried to sell me on their respective religions with bullshit propaganda, forced attendance at Sunday school and even forced attendance at church. In Thailand all I saw was religion. Buddhist and Hindu temples, Muslim mosques everywhere you turn. I went inside them, I spoke with their holy people, I participated in a few rituals. I've seen the traditional funeral procession and cremation in Indonesia, I've been to the guano filled cave temples. I went to a Buddhists sanctuary- where every young Thai man goes for at least a year in his life to live as a monk. I don't think I could have been more immersed in religion unless I signed up. You're right. The Catholic church is definitely the most fucked up, but I have tried it- and it doesn't make sense. What has religion done for you? Is the tease/notion of a pleasant afterlife in heaven enough for you to live the way your religion tells you to?
posted by K-Lo
@ 12:26
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last night i started getting these really weird, extremely disconcerting dizzy spells. this morning when i woke up and immediately started getting them again, i called my mom and asked her if i have a brain tumor. it's official: i have turned into woody allen.
but seriously folks, if this dizzy things doesnt stop im going to have to go to the dr. toot suite. my mom had a spell of vertigo in her early 20s and im beginning to think that's what's going on here. it'd be kinda fun if it wasnt so random and terrifying. it feels like a very lightheaded, drunk spinning while losing connection with my body. rrright...
i owe NYU 40 dollars to replace my ID...for the second time.
posted by vic
@ 11:09
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Well Karen ... having just finished a report in sociology on the increase in divorce in these wacky wacky days, I can give you three possible reasons for this dilemma. THe number of kids you have the amount of income your education and if the parentas parents were divorced(maybe it was four I guess). ANother thing the human existence is just absurd it's quite funny in fact if you look at it just right. I'm coming down with a sicknesss of some sort time to get some well needed sleep. Jug head rules!
posted by marko
@ 10:55
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Yeah, steph. I've gotta agree with you on Franchael/Mankie. blame canada!
posted by rayve nation
@ 08:26
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welcome to stephanieland where procrastination and lack of sleep give way to things such as multiple personalities and cheerleading for church. I am slowly losing contact with my former self (by former I mean 24 hours ago) and I really think that Canada is to blame. Canada is to blame in everything actually. If you read all the questions Karen asked about marriage and religion, the answer always ends up being "blame canada"
posted by Record Album
@ 03:09
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hmm...well let me be the one to break the deep thoughts going on here. If you go to the guestbook and look up austin's page, you will see that his picture is that of a Franchael or perhaps a Mankie---that's right, the spawn of Michael and Frankie...
And on the topic of religion, don't dis it till you try it. I hate to be the mr.juilliard "hurrah for the church" asshole here, but Karen, you have never really been totally immersed in a religion, so how can you be so down on it? I mean yeah organized religion, as in the catholic church, is really fucked up but can you really say that religion in general is that bad of a thing to have around?
posted by Record Album
@ 03:05
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Tuesday, November 28, 2000
I can't believe Portland was rated #1, I don't get it...
I tripped on shrooms again last night. It was fun, but I got into a conversation with my friend Aron about his thanksgiving and how it sucked because his dad is abandoning their family and all I could focus on was how rediculous the whole idea of marriage is. I think I have more friends whose parents are divorced or unhappy than are together and still in love. My parents will be divorced, my guess: within five years. I have no idea if rejecting the institution of marriage and just being with the one you love would fix this, but I can't understand the amount of failed marriages. Are people getting married before they realize who they're marrying, giving up too soon, or just trying to better the careers of psychologists all over the world by fucking up their kids? I keep getting this feeling that being so much more evolved than the rest of the animal kingdom is a curse. Humans must always make things more complicated than they have to be. You know how ducks, geese, and platypi (?), i think, mate for life? well, humans obviously don't so why do people try and force themselves to be with one person forever when it is so difficult and simply goes against our biology? Is it the insurance benefits? maybe it is today, but the more I think about it the more I blame that damned opiate of the masses, yup you guessed it, religion. The intelligence of the human race is kicking itself by over thinking everything. We are animals too. While I greatly appreciate the benefits that come with this advanced evolution, like indoor plumbing- gotta love it- what's up with making all these rules and laws and trying to control everyone? How's this for irony? I just looked out my window to see all the bible thumpers spilling out of the cafeteria from their Tuesday night sing-along. Jesus was just a man, people- and if he ever 'comes again' I'd like to see a toxicology report. damn the man.
posted by K-Lo
@ 23:40
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yikes. so i just re-read over all the shit i wrote in the month of september and realized i was incredibly depressed and knew it then too. i just couldnt make the final step - the part where you go, "fine. im depressed. but now i am able to do something about it." frankie was explaining it to me because i told him that when i was depressed i became obsessed with the phrase "sadder but wiser" and all day long whenever id feel terrible (or is that meant to read 'whenever id feel terrible all day long') i would think, "yes, well im sadder but wiser" and i would justify my horrible self-pity that way. frankie says that his schtick was "im the saddest boy in the world". he said that people who have this catch-phrase are the ones who are have it better than those without. because the catch phrase is a small connection to the rest of the world. it's the one thing you can use to relate. he says that when you dont even have that that you're in real trouble. of course he said all of that much better.
tonight i learned from jane magazine that it's trendy to talk about tapeworms. i was SO way ahead of that fad!
i still wanna leave here. i was walking outside and i was like, "ok, im happy in this moment. im fine. but i still hate this city." it's too bad cuz this coulda been great. eh, whaddayagonnado.
i fall asleep every night thinking about chicaqo and smiling. maybe that's sick but it's the first time ive fallen asleep smiling in months.
posted by vic
@ 23:03
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hey guysh - doesh anyone wanna go to a new year'sh eve party? remember last year? ooooh...what could have been the chicago funnyman's greatest night ever turned out to be another excuse for me to have mike monatello (sp?) pick gum off my drunken, bathroom floor bound ass. okay, so that was the only time he ever did that but uh, yeah...
regardless...i am very excited about new year's. it's the next best holiday (well christmas, but you know me and my problems with consumerism and presents...HAHAHAHA!!!) i'll have a nice fake ID by then and i'll be ready to roll chicago stylee. yeehaw.
i had a very lovely night. a very lovely day. thanks ladies for the ice cream and good times!
posted by vic
@ 22:30
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like i need more proof.
posted by vic
@ 19:20
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about wyclef--I really think that his first album was better. This one has some good songs on it--911 and thug angels, but I think that everyone should listen to the roots new album---it's wonderful. and---ms. fat booty by mos def---it is also pure greatness. To my 12 page paper: I swear, I'll go work on you soon!
posted by Record Album
@ 16:58
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stephanie - you are so great. just great. i love you.
i cant stop listening to the new wyclef album. i dare any of you to disagree with me about wycelf - he's really REALLY good! even though frankie lost all faith in humanity because clef didnt hold up to his end of some imaginary good guy bargain the media made up for him, i still like him. go get the new album and play song #11 "perfect gentlemen". it's innovative. just like my friend wyclef.
today is the first day i didnt wanna, um, die here. i know "die" is a little scary/general word but im sure you'll understand. i also didnt feel insane. looks like things are looking up! yay! off to a math quiz...
posted by vic
@ 14:05
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I feel that we aren't giving enough "props" to our fan base, and that's why we're losing them. Nicole--I think that Full House theme is pretty goddamn annoying, and noone would have ever called me step-on-me if that show would never have aired. Frankie--what did you learn today? "Karen's crew peeps"---how are you liking rowing? Is Karen having problems keeping up because she won't put down her bowl? Janine--- I read your post about China more times than I have ever read anything, just because I was searching for new entry's. Everyone else---did I forget someone? Maybe you should be signing the guestbook more, so we can know we have fans. For all of us at college who don't have one of those howyousay "social lives" and just play solitaire a lot, just a whole lot of solitaire, yup solitaire...twoheadedmonster is all that I've, I MEAN we've got!
posted by Record Album
@ 12:31
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Also, I have a problem. The kind of problem that would be dramatized in a seventeen article as "gambling away: Amber Stark's* fight for life" (*name has been changed). You see, I just "won" $1060 vegas big bucks. That's right folks, I just played solitaire for a very very long time to avoid doing my 12 page paper that's due in two days. Were you wondering if the computer would actually go up to 1000 dollars? Well, it does. I'm living proof.
posted by Record Album
@ 00:26
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I also had a pretty uneventful trip home. At takeoff Michelle goes "I'm ill" and starts getting up but then realizes that the plane is just getting up, sleeps a while, gets up, pukes in the bathroom so much from her hangover that she had big circles under her eyes. I went over to D and T's for thanksgiving and then we went to our cousins house. It was nice--they (d and t) have a nice apartment in roger's park and are decorating the baby's room, but they're still such kids. On saturday they were saying how much they miss partying. oh man...
posted by Record Album
@ 00:21
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Monday, November 27, 2000
is blogger.com giving anyone else a headache? it's kinda shitty lately..... anywho. Flying home was a royal pain in the ass, every trip I take flying loses more and more of the novelty it had when I was a kid. I hate it now. I'm still blown away that people travel through the air, but god. it's mind numbing sometimes. I missed the last shuttle to campus from the airport so I was going to get a hotel room, but Jon said I could stay at his house and his mom would drive us and his brother back to school the next day. So that's what I did. We sat on his back porch of his emense home and smoked bowl after bowl talking and talking. I will never get tired of just looking at the stars. Try this people: stand still and just look up. concentrate and you can feel the Earth turn. it's really fun and awesome in the literal sense of the word. Mischka! I bet you can see all kinds of stars in Montana. I must say that I agree with vicki about all that I love chicgo stuff. period. BUT there's nothing like the nature away from the city. I want to sleep outside, under the stars, but it's cold. I know this was really all over the place- sorry. there's a logical explanation for it, really. can you guess what it is? I love you all. Steph! what's up? I miss you! I can't believe I never got to see you! shit, man. there was a fuckin' shady lookin' character at Denny's on Wed. I don't think Flo was there- she wouldn't have put up with that shit. John: did you know this troubled driver? wha- who... huh? yeeeahhh........
posted by K-Lo
@ 23:40
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My trip back home was fairly uneventful. All the way back I read Naked by David Sedaris. Yes, I know, vicki and billy, I should be finished with it. Give me a break, I am almost done. I have rediscovered that (oh, who knew??) I love reading, and I used to do it all the time. I have stolen some books from home to read while at college, including my favorite book of all time--Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card.
Oh, when i got to my house, all of the dorms on the north side of campus were experiencing a blackout. it was kind of surreal, as I got in at around 8:30, and it was already dark out. This is the second time this has happened.
posted by rayve nation
@ 16:52
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Whooh. On the way home from the airport, we were smoking a bone and the driver is like "I think I should stop." ok. Later, "Hey um guys could we switch drivers? I don't feel very good." ok so we're getting off at the next exit, and as we see it, its still up the way a bit, the car starts turning over like to get off but a fair distance too early. Ok, I think, we are just stopping and switching before the exit. but as we get onto the shoulder the car is turning more and more sharply. Oh, I think, ok, we're turning a little too sharp. Oh, I think, SHIT! So I grab the wheel and steer the car onto the road and up a little ways, and we are accelerating. Driver is fucking passed out So how do we slow this car down? I definitely cant reach the brake. So, it being an automatic, I keep steering and put it in low gear. the car slows down significantly and someone finally shakes t he driver back into the real world. And everything is ok. We switch driovers and drive the final 10 minutes back to school. I have never been so close to death. How were your trips back home?
posted by egeus
@ 15:36
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ok, so you all should really be reading nelson algren anyway, just because he's a fabulous writer with a very unique style. but regardless, when anyone asks me why i wanna go back to chicago i shall just read them this from "Chicago: City on the Make" -
"Yet once you've come to be a part of this particular patch, you'll never love another. Like loving a woman with a broken nose, you may well find lovelier lovelies. But never a lovely so real."
i've read the book many times before but never has it been so damn poignant. im on the plane coming back to new york and i get to the end of the chapter "love is for barflies" which describes perfectly the connnection with that city that anyone who has it would understand. now i shall quote that part too as i am avoiding a paper and really in love with it -
"And grew up too arrogant, too gullible, too swift to mockery and too slow to love. So careless and so soon careworn, so challenging yet secretly despairing - how can such a cocksure Johnson of a town catch anybody but a barfly's heart?
Catch the heart and just hold it there with no bar even near?
Yet on nights when, under all the arc-lamps, the little men of the rain come running, you'll know at last that, long long ago, something went wrong between St. Columbanus and North Troy Street. And Chicago divided your heart.
Leaving you loving the joint for keeps.
Yet knowing it never can love you."
oooh nelson algren. hold me. you alone know my pain. damn literary crushes.
posted by vic
@ 00:06
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Sunday, November 26, 2000
somebody learned a lesson...oh, it's me*
*please note that this lesson is NOT that i should be writing a paper due tomorrow and it's midnight. i'll never learn that lesson.
thanksgiving was wonderful. i loved seeing all of you and it felt so damn good to be home and surrounded by love and city workers. all it took was stepping into my dad's squad in front of ohare with cd 94.7 blasting to make me remember what life is like. so im outta here. im transferring. im gone. im done. new york city was not for me. mad props to new yorkers. you guys are some tough cookies. but i dont know who i was kidding pretending i was one of you. im not a new yorker. i dont want to be a new yorker. i am a chicago girl in the thickest accent sense of the word. i love my mom. i love my city. i love my life. i hate new york. that's it all simplified and shit. im leaving out three months of deep depression and insanity cuz i dont even wanna think about it anymore.
in good news, everything has changed. i am now in a position in which whatever happens in the future will be good. this feeling of relief is indescribable. hello life. i missed you there for a while.
if i stay here it will be because i begin to love it. if i dont begin to love it, im leaving. yay! both possibilities are wonderful!
i fucked up. i fucked up big time. i fucked up 34,000 dollars and nine months worth. i might as well have had a baby. but the wonderful thing is that i dont have to be sadder but wiser anymore. yeah, i fucked up and i learned and now i know what i have to do to be happy. as gillian said, "you remembered how to be the main subject in your life". my head is the best it's been since i've been here. and now im gonna keep it that way.
hope is the most important thing in life. you are right mark. i lost all hope there for a while. i forgot to hope for better and i forgot what better was. i want to say im back, but i have no one to say it to but myself. all that really matters is i know what i mean.
i adopted a bunch of really bad emotional/psychological/social habits in the last months but i have a feeling that they are going to take a lot less time to break than they took to create. they weren't really me anyway.
happiness, love, balance, beauty, laughter, magic, fun, smiling, feeling, seeing...i knew you werent really gone forever.
it's all about priorities. i just got mine back in check.
posted by vic
@ 23:49
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I'm sad that I didn't see you Karen, or howyousay "homegirl" (peace out? what?) he he, anyways, how was the porch party? I would really like to know! I wish I would have gone to that instead of that shitty ukie thing. The wedding and the reception---good? bad?
posted by Record Album
@ 18:34
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scribble scrabble
posted by rayve nation
@ 14:07
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Hello all! I hope everyone had a tubular time (har har har) It has been quite an interesting holiday (not really a holiday anymore because corporate america got rid of it (you bastards)) None the less I must digress. Having spent all nights here up till about the crack of dawn cutting National Geographics and listening to Crosby STills and Nash:CSN Bob Marley:Kaya and Paul McCArtney's Ram LP's constantly (these are really great albums folks, real good for listening after 12 am infact they are quite possibly the best albums ever made next to Beatles: Revolver (another great masterpiece)) On the subject of records, why the hell to people not make comprehensive albums anymore, CD's made it all too simple. THere are no more two (or iin a double album's case ... four sides) Music is not an art form anymore, something that I think folk music mastered. None the less late night's are good with the albums mentioned above. Another good thing is a little movie called Shawshank blar blar blar I'm not sure if it's redemption, if it is hoorah. THis movie (theme is hope) is very cool, I think the best movies involve the theme of hope, not these crazy films the kids like these days i.e Fight CLub (what is everybodies obsession with this movie?) or Matrix (I think it's about computers, I think they tried too hard to make this movie way too complicated). Other great movies filled with the lovely theme of hope: Midnight Cowboy, Brother From ANother Planet (for those of you who are saying to yourselves "what the fuck is this?" it is a great indi 80's movies by the great John Sayles) The Muppet Movie, and of course I have to throw in the EMpire Strikes back for good measure. So anyway two values that are lost in the name of progress(a big no no we should really go back to the days of bartering and apprenticeships) are hope, wisdom and patience. So off I go to sleep ... I'm thinking. Sorry for the long post, I thought I should do one eventually so here it is.
Matt- where the hell was Mike, I was waiting for an hour and a half ( no one came)
Everybody else-good night remember hope wisdom and patience. Gobbly gook
posted by marko
@ 02:19
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