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Saturday, November 18, 2000
I had the most wonderful dream last night. I was part of a "record-company-made" group, similar to say the Spice Girls or Take 5. The other two girls were really skinny and in the promotion t-shirt, we were all three drawn cartoon stylee, but I was drawn with a line indicating a large belly. So I get pissed and shove my grandma twice (she was the record company head) and then we're in this parking lot and Tony Danza is there. Both of us (y'know, me and tony) were crying and sobbing and kissing each other on the cheeks because we both realized what a cop out the record industry was. And then I consumed large amounts of candy which was in our house, while playing Mario Brothers on Nintendo. So, moral of the dream, folks, is this: if you're looking for "real things" and "real people", look no further than the only male Italian house keeper in New Jersey: Tony Danza...
posted by Record Album
@ 14:36
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I had the most wonderful dream last night. I was part of a "record-company-made" group, similar to say the Spice Girls or Take 5. The other two girls were really skinny and in the promotion t-shirt, we were all three drawn cartoon stylee, but I was drawn with a line indicating a large belly. So I get pissed and shove my grandma twice (she was the record company head) and then we're in this parking lot and Tony Danza is there. Both of us (y'know, me and tony) were crying and sobbing and kissing each other on the cheeks because we both realized what a cop out the record industry was. And then I consumed large amounts of candy which was in our house, while playing Mario Brothers on Nintendo. So, moral of the dream, folks, is this: if you're looking for "real things" and "real people", look no further than the only male Italian house keeper in New Jersey: Tony Danza...
posted by Record Album
@ 14:36
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you can tell a person has become completely internet-saturated when they start using the airport abbreviations in regular discussion. ORD, Karen? hahaah...hysterics.
im quitting smoking. it's making me really depressed - smoking, that is. this is the first time in my life that i am actually really upset i ever started in the first place. once you start that addiction it haunts you for the rest of your life. im so pissed. i will however probably smoke when im at home for old time's sake - in the car, screaming, "i want a boyfriend" with stephanie. oooh....blisssss.
T minus 3.5 days and 4 papers to write till HOME! (my mutherfucking ConWest teacher assigned 2 papers due the monday we come back! well, i am going to foil all his plans of ruining my weekend by finishing it before i go. my mom says that if i actually do that i will be the first person to ever accomplish such a task - not procrastinating.)
posted by vic
@ 10:40
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Friday, November 17, 2000
hey folks, just got finished watching Back to the Future. My firend Cayte and I were the only ones in the theatre kind of crazy. None the less we were wondering how the hell Marty and the Doc met for it is not brought up or eluded to in the film god damnit. SO every one have a safe weekend, hopefully you guys can churn out some ideas. good night.
posted by marko
@ 22:15
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Oh hello dear friends!!! I can't wait to go home. I am d-lighted!!! See you all so so so soon!!!
posted by Record Album
@ 00:21
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Thursday, November 16, 2000
for all the pot ive been smoking this week (and it has been an extraordinary amount despite my plans to stay sober and go to class before i go home - HAH!), i've actually learned a lot and have been reading a huge amount. last week, i drank a lot and watched tv. just more proof that pot can be good and make you, um, smarter (haha) if you use it right. sure, i cant remember what i did yesterday but i have acquired a nice base knowledge of the excruciatingly addictive relationship between simone de beauvoir and nelson algren (rrrrowl...). the bad thing about all this pot smoking is that my throat really hurts and it leads to occasional fits of random whim. for example on tuesday (smack-free.rrright), i found myself up at 2 in the morning, deciding that i was going to transfer to wesleyan based soley on the fact that they have clothing optional dorms. i then spent an hour pouring over their website (very clever - subversively funny and "hip" while trying to detract from the fact that it may be a liberal place but it's no damn melting pot - i dont care how many multi-culti pics they have on the opening page) trying desperately to find some other reason to transfer there besides the damn nudity dorm. i couldnt find another reason. i was hoping they'd have an excellent writing program so i could go and learn from some tweed-jacket man with a pipe how to write. but i think to give up this city is too much. this is obviously a place one can learn write just from observing life. which brings me to my new shtick - i am going to major in sociology and become reknowned for that type of study, establish myself as an intellectual authority in the field and then use all my research and studying of people to write the great american novel. im so excited. this way i can write my novel from a sociological perspective rather than a psychological aspect of which im beginning to tire. it'll be great - in the vein of the modernists in chicago - drieser, dybek, farell, algren - but it will be post-modern of course. yummm...pomo.
im attempting to read around 10 books at once which of course, is making me slowly insane. i have little concept of where each book ends as they have all blended into one another and into my life.
a list, humor me, you should all read them -
A Transatlantic Love Affair - letters to Nelson Algren from Simone de Beauvoir. fabulous. this came out in 1998 and i asked for it for Christmas but no one gave it to me. consequently, i did not feel bad charging it as i still feel jipped over not getting it then. haha, im a brat. anyway - really good if you are a fan of either writer, particularly Beauvoir as it is just her letters to Algren. His responses are in the private collection of a relative of Beauvoir's - what i wouldnt give to get my hands on those! also good if you're a big fan of torrid, star-crossed affairs and longing, which i am. big time. if you have had a massive, embarassing, literary crush on Algren since junior year of high school it's the best.
American Project: The Rise and Fall of a Modern Ghetto by Sudhir Venkatesh. this is a case study on the Robert Taylor Homes in Chicago. steph - you should check out this book. you can borrow my copy when im done. a little dry, but it's a sociological study, not like there are no children here. really interesting chapter on why the physical design and layout of the projects are very much responsible for the quality of life. really good history and it's written as objectively as possible which is interesting.
Anais Nin - In Favor of the Sensitive Man and other essays, A Woman Speaks, Incest, Mystic of Sex, D.H. Lawrence: An Unprofessional Study, Literate Passion (letters to Henry Miller) - all fabulous. im writing a massive paper on Nin and the influence she had on women creating a new language with which to express their emotions, feelings and instincts (qualities that are not often acknowledged, respected, or valued within a male world and a male-dominated language.) im so happy. and i just wrote a damn book about what i was reading. im sorry that was really lame and kinda pretentious. i just am excited about it all and i have no one to really tell because when you try to tell somebody about this stuff in person they're all, "yeah, so anyway". well, except for my mom. ooh mom. T minus 5.5 days till MOM! now im going to go read. delish.
posted by vic
@ 13:14
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hi, it's me. i type this entry from my office. 'what what?' you say? marisa has a job? yes. i started this morning. it is not quite ten and i have nothing to do, already. it's a small elevator company with a tiny office and a metal shop split between two buildings. i've already been warned, more than once, that my boss, phil, can be an asshole. this alert did not come as a shock whatsoever, as i had overheard him being an asshole to others already (i'd been here less than an hour at that point). at nine-thirty he left and told me he'd be back around noon. so, matt (the guy who sort of show me around) just told me to make myself comfortable. this place reminds me freakishly of jlm plastics (my dad's operation). just the feeling of the it. it's weird.
my computer has been dead for about two weeks now. nrrd hell. gateway shipped me a new harddrive and cd-r the other day, but i haven't had time to install them yet. unfortunately, i have to send the old parts back, which foils my plan to make a few extra bucks.
ohmygod: i just asked if i could go out to have a cigarette, and matt let me know i could smoke right here. he says phil just ashes on the floor. i opted for an pepsi bottle from the trash instead. so here i am, smoking, tapping at the keyboard like a chimp. it's kinda like being at home, except i have to put pants on (a small sacrifice for nine dollars and hour).
posted by marisa jo
@ 10:10
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Wednesday, November 15, 2000
to be exact, my arrival date is on wed at 8:05. yipee!
posted by rayve nation
@ 18:59
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sometimes a person just holding you for a minute is worth all the naked, sweaty grinding in the world. wait...no, it is. the kind of hug where you sink into another person's body. the kind where for a minute you forget that you're just one person and exist within a different physical boundary. sometimes i get exactly what i need even though it wasnt at all what i thought i wanted. hmm...didnt dave matthews say that?
i just have to realize that maybe im not right about everything all the time. if i just ease off a little, what is meant to be will be. haha...that's so fucking tao.
mark and i did a little trip through chronological bob marley and then we topped it off with sublime acoustic. incredible. i truly believe that that entire album should be played at the closing of every event. maybe that's why we listened to it all summer like it was gospel. cuz it is.
steph - i get home on TUESDAY night. that's right - T minus 6.5 days till the world and all its love wrap around me like the security blanket ive been needing for three months. i would LOVE to pick you up at the airport more than anything. let me know. goodnight everyone. it's been a wonderful evening, week, month...life. i love you all.
posted by vic
@ 01:28
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yeah, steph. I get home one wed evening/night. yay! Just crate a mental picture of what wed will be like. How wonderfull. I'm so pumped! I loved thet marty trainer email you sent us vicki. Wow. The best part about that email is that it has been seen by soooo many people. I was looking at all of the other email addresses, and there were at least thirty ignatius kids. I'm sure there are more. How fucking eighties! beautiful.
posted by rayve nation
@ 00:35
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Tuesday, November 14, 2000
I got an e-mail from Jason Allan about new picture on his website, so as I go to it to check it out and see under "daily updates" him saying "my birthday was a few days ago and I didn't get any cards" I feel really bad for him so I call him and get Alicia to sing happy birthday with me really loud. After much laughter, he says "thanks, but my birthday is July 18" Apparently, those daily updates aren't updated daily...
Mike and Vic---when do you guys get home? wednesday? B/c I figure that we could go grab some coffee or something on wednesday night seeing as how o'hare is just in your nook
posted by Record Album
@ 23:56
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Monday, November 13, 2000
what a beautiful night ive had. sure, i totally procrastinated hardcore on a paper i want to do well on and i will have to finish it in the morning, but oh well, totally worth it. good times. lovely sights. moments of beauty. laughing. old toys. thanks guys, i had a great night. oh yeah, way worth it. goodnight everyone. i love you all!
posted by vic
@ 23:35
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I think I have managed to make myself an enemy to some poor numb skull jock. SO here's how the story goes. I'm working in the dining room like every monday night, doing my beverage thing getting the glasses out so everyone can drink their poisons. I have noticed a trend going on in the past few months being here, it is a lazy trend, where people take five glasses at a time sos they don't have to get back up again (god forbid you break your fuckin ankles folks). ANyway, I deided to put up a sign which read as follows"Hey lazy folk try and take two glasses love beverage guy(I care about these people and their well being)" THere was a glass shortage today the worst one I've seen yet, thats why I finally put up the damn sign. SO here's the best part. This jock soccer player who I thought was a nice guy (some jocks can be nice as can be seen on the football team floor I live on, but this guy had to break all the rules continuing my love hate relationship with jocks and frat boys a.k.a the elusive white hat.) SO he's going about taking five glasses, and I go in my sarcastic wit ... let me emphasize sarcastic. "two glasses is cooler" So he goes "no five is cooler so I don't have to get up" so I start to explain what happened earlier in the dinner period, where he proceeds to interupt the conversation "but this is your job" Of course it is I don't have a prob;lem with bringing out glasses I have a problem with people being lazy fools. SO he interrupts me again after I try and explain what happened a second time. "WHy don't you go fuck yourself" So I walk away I guess I might get beat down at some point I hope they beat me to death. So lovely lovely day here at schwillsville ... adios.
posted by marko
@ 19:01
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i apologize in advance for the following post. i dont know what i started out doing, but it quickly slid into a stroll down my memory's lanes. sorry. it's just getting really close, y'all!!!
posted by vic
@ 12:28
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oh man, i really wanna go home right now. this is such a strange feeling. i remember last year being so desperate to get the hell out of chicago. all those dramatic, insanity filled nights alone when i would get into my car and pretend i was getting gas and end up driving on 290 or one of those suburban-headed highways in my pajamas, crying and wanting more than anything in the world to be gone. and now im gone and i want to go back. why do i always want to leave everywhere i am? my mom says the secret to life is to find joy where you are. once again, i know the end and not the means. how am i supposed to be completely content with my position here? my tai chi instructor would say something like, "just be content". he's right. anytime i ask him how im supposed to make my body do some hard, painful thing he says, "why are you asking me? do those arms belong to you?" me:"how do i stop raising my shoulders?" him:"just stop". i appreciate that he makes everything seem easy, cuz really it is. we put too much energy into thinking that answers cant be easy. we like making things harder than they are. how do i be happy? just be.
i am going to do an experiment this week. i like making up adventures and experiments for myself cuz it makes the time go quicker and it adds a little excitement. when i told gillian i was going to think about something i didnt want to do in terms of it being an adventure she said, "congratulations. you've just figured out how to make it through college". this week, since i only have one week and a day left before im outta here, im going to go to every single class i have. i dont think ive managed to do this since the first week of school and im only doing it so that when i go home to my parents i have a studious glow about me. well, that's not the only reason. it's a test of strength, an exercise in daylight (ooh, so this is what it looks like at 2 pm!), and an excuse to want to go home even more, all in one! i dont know if i'll make it. and im sure as hell not promising that all these classes will be attended in an attentive state of mind. this is only a test.
now i have to do work. part of the test includes getting my work done during daylight hours so that i have my evenings free to do um...yeah, nothing. hahah.
damn i cant wait to get home. things i need desperately to see in order - mom, dad, friends (oooh, im not putting you guys in order! i dont want any fights!), the curve where you first come off talcott and on to my street and you see all the trees (ahhhh.....), cats, car, bed, porch, the KENNEDY, the farrelly's kitchen late at night, park ridge (particularly that stretch of land running parallel to the traintracks and the uptown area), grocery stores big ones like dominicks, my starbucks (i wonder what sort of degenerates they'll have working there now), streets without drug dealers, o'hare, the hill, the old alma matter late at night with one hand on the steering wheel and a bowl in the other and the sad and pensive feeling that i have nothing to rebel against there anymore, fucking YARDS AND HOUSES, 7-11, gas stations, the northwest side losers (all or any, ill take what i can get), banks with names i know, parks, swingsets i can ride on, familarity, harlem going south, fastramp, the EL, good old talcott and canfield, blue angel, hahaha - wrigleyville! (wow, i have thought very little of this area), a certain chicago funnyman's face covered in pie, belmont and clark ("chicago's answer to the village" rrrright...), belmonte and sebastian, my grade school, that little neighborhood by my house we always used to drive around in when we were getting high before we started to just be balls out about it, stairs, wood floors, morningfields, whatever the hell happened to hollywood knight's?, bad park ridge kids like skinhead matt, local news, stupid chicago irish boys, good food, good weed, good sleep. oh, the things we give up in order to grow up. i just hope it's all worth it in the end.
posted by vic
@ 12:26
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SLANT RIMES
A short novella by M. William Heinrich
Livin' on the edge
doesn't rhyme with fridge
You know the rhyme for orange?
It almost sounds like door hinge.
If I had a million dollars
I'd hunt down all the whalers
Whales are gelantenous
Crabs are Crustaceanous
My poem doesn't flow
and plow is actually spelled plough
I dropped calculus
because it was a pain inmyass
posted by heinous
@ 00:50
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Sunday, November 12, 2000
Wait K---why did you think that she was a lesbian in the first place?
posted by Record Album
@ 23:58
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Karen dude don't be homophobic it's not a big deal. If you don't want to see her again, then just make up an excuse or something. Sorry to be so harsh, but you asked for honesty
posted by Record Album
@ 22:31
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oh karen. i cant pretend im not a little disheartened with your obsession over this lesbian thing. so what if someone thinks you're a lesbian? i can think of a lot worse things that somebody might think of me. why cant you just be flattered that this girl thinks you're attractive and interesting and just tell her that you're not interested in a romantic relationship? you're smart, funny and good-looking...why wouldn't this girl be interested? dont waste your time "freaking out" over what people may think. would you be reassured about your own sexuality if i tell you you dont seem like a lesbian? karen, you're not this shallow. chill out.
posted by vic
@ 20:06
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Hi everybody, long time no blog, aye...ah ha ah ha oh ha i'm dying. Hey, so how about this for a survey: best david lee roth song. Now all we need to do is think of some good david lee roth songs.
posted by Kelljoy
@ 15:34
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i have GOT to stop drinking so much. besides the fact that my tolerance is skyrocketing, i really hate waking up the next day feeling semi-depressed. i wish i wasnt so aware of my feelings. ok, that's stupid. i dont like how the day after i drink there is always this weird, un-tangible sadness looming around me. yuck yuck drinking sucks.
steph - i think this survey may flop too. how are we supposed to know what your brother's going to name his baby? is it a boy or a girl? are they doing a translatable into ukranian name? my first guess was melvin, but i know that's not right. nor would i wish that name on any child.
i talked to mark last night and i cant remember shit about what we said except that i didnt like the conversation all too much. it had bad undertones. it had a bad presence, i think. once again, had bill murray been here, this would not have happened.
ive gotta shitload of work to do and a weird, fuzzy head with which to do it. i have a super clean room though so that's a good thing. i pledged every surface and i vaccumed for the (i know im bad, dont judge!) 2nd time. my floor is spotless.
simpsons tonight. that's all i want. 9.5 days till home. im going to make it, which is exciting cuz there was a time, way back at the beginning of the year, when i was like, ill never make it to thanksgiving. but now, now i have made it. yay! i am surviving college! in fact, i'll make the whole year, no doubt. but that's as far as i go folks. im no betting man.
now off to read st. augustine's confessions. i read the first couple pages last night and it's awful. i have to suspend my imagination just so i can believe that people actually believe in god this much. not looking forward. off i go.
posted by vic
@ 10:36
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