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Saturday, October 07, 2000
ooooh john. that was very sweet of you to say but i dont understand anything about the money situation? huh?
karen - high blogging. look back at what you wrote and notice the stuff that is spelled phonetically. i always do that too. for example, "an" anil gupta tattoo becomes "and" anil gupta tattoo. i have only done my laundry NOT high once and lemmee tell you, it was a HELL of a lot easier that one time. now i am off to drink the 40s that have been in my fridge for a week. oh sweet, sweet 2 dollah beer. MGD, you know it baby.
posted by vic
@ 22:33
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Just sitting in Chicago home soaking up the good vibes(more like boring).
John-THe V is doing alright, he just got two new printers and a new ink cartridge system which consists of 6 rather large bottles of ink, very mad scientish. Which shadow thing do you want there are very many it might take ome time to scan or you might want to direct your inquiry to the V he might still have all that crap on the hard drive.
Steph-Midnight Cowboy!
Matt-your answering machine is quite excellent, I'd never guess it was you. If you get this before I fall asleep give me a call maybe I'll drive on down somewhere.
Sleepy time time more like wait for the demons to come into the right and left hemisphere and play games with the squishy stuff. Alright time to look at a wall or something.
posted by marko
@ 21:06
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Hey! Steph is here, we need Marisa's number. Who, oh who, can give it to us. One of you. Okay, Steph will take the helm now.
Who thought you could double blog?! We're doing it now aren't we?! Yeah, need one phone number of one marisa---peace out
posted by heinous
@ 20:35
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what's my name skippy?
he owes you $40. (if I understood right) he threw away the $. his own damn fault. he knew to take the CD's out- anyone with half a brain can see the bags not empty- take the money and run, man.
posted by K-Lo
@ 20:34
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Hey do you think you could all help out with some advice on this situation that I am in? The other day I went into towen to get some stuff and my room mate gave me a hundred $ bill to get some CDs for him. So I went, and got the CDsa and came back and (Oh, and I had to get a carton of cigarettes for someone else) I had put his change into the little plastic CD bag so I wouldn't get it cornfused with the carton kid's change, and I gave him the bag with the money and CDs in it. Well he didn't realize the money was in the bag and he threw it away or something when he was clewaning up for his girlfriend who was flying in from Virginia. So in the meantime between when I realized he had thrown away the monwey and he realized that it had been in the bag, he borrowed $40 to go pick her up from the airport in a cab. So we never got the change back (approx $50 or $60) and now what should be done about the $40?
Steph I am jealous of your being at home. And of the perfect way your dad (I love ytour Dad) handled that situation. I really can't wait to see everyone. I am a little afraid that we might change. And I just saw that I typed that and that its really sort of trite and foolish. But I suppose it is true.
Matt, are you still making checkups on Huck's? And has that rope come in handy yet? '
Marisa, you are one of a few people who make me happy when they say I crack them up.
Vicki, your stories are certainly the best told. Always. I think it has something to do with your house and the lunches your mom used to pack you.
Mark, how was V? Um, do you think you could send me one of your shadow pictures (scanned) to use as a wallpaper for my screen?
posted by egeus
@ 19:44
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vicki, I thouroughly enjoyed exploding dog. "hey man, fish are crazy" is my new desktop. (it was and anil gupta fish tattoo before)
posted by K-Lo
@ 19:16
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you should all check out this site. the artwork is really simple and incredible and disturbing all in a pleasent way. and they look really good as desktops.
posted by vic
@ 17:22
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The Birth of Tragedy and the Geneology of Morons
That's a little Kirkegaard joke.
I just learned a bunch about my geneology from my dad on the phone. His uncle Val (Yes, my Great Uncle Valentine Heinrich) visited and told him a bit about our family. Apparently, I'm not so much German as I am Polish. My ancestors lived in the area of what is now Poland for 200 years. I think it was technically Prussia, near Brandenburg, or whatnot, but still... I'm Polish! Cool. Actually, it's hard to tell, because Prussia was a big war machine and invaded everything around it. So I could be a Pole with a German name (Which would make sense, because Heinrich is much more common as a given name than it is as a surname), or I could be from a line of Prussian monarchs. Taking this into consideration, I think that when people ask me what my ethnicity is, I should say Prussian instead of German, as Prussian is more ambiguous. One might say that Prussia doesn't exist anymore, but then I might say that I'm a fourth generation American and my European ancestors indeed lived in Prussia. So here's the current breakdown:
50% Dark Irish 30% Prussian 10% Scottish 10% Bohemian
The story of my Irish ancestry is actually pretty cool. My maternal grandpa's name was technically Griebling (German), but he dropped it because his father left . So he took his mother's name (Dalton). The first Dalton was Walter D'Alton, a Frenchman. In the 11th Century, he, a nobleman, had an affair with a princess of France and was exiled from France. He settled in Wales and became a noble and was called Walter D'Altons, or, Walter from Altons, France. I guess he was given land in Ireland and moved there. The other names in my geneology are Hopkins, Murphy, and some Bohemian name I can't recall at the moment. Okay. Maybe this is really boring, but I think its neat, and I just wanted to share. Heh. Take it easy.
posted by heinous
@ 15:34
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when i read that last post, i got chills. do you know that i have thought about chad every single day this week? what the fuck? plus, steven soderbergh, who wrote, directed and starred in schizopolis kinda looks like chad when he makes certain faces. how is he?
posted by vic
@ 12:19
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chad just called me. and what can i say... it was a good reminder...
posted by marisa jo
@ 12:10
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last night was good. first, i played "day spa", giving myself a sea salt scrub and a pumpkin slather. then mom came home and we went on a "date". went to my indian restaurant and laughed our asses off. rented "high fidelity" (muwhaha). mom fell asleep. not me. i still love my vagina, and i still love that movie. more than ever, i think. it just makes sense to me.
an appointment with kathy at one. that's about it.
"it's getting cold all over again..."
posted by marisa jo
@ 10:51
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tonight was an exceptionally beautiful night in new york.
it was a horrid, hot, uncomfortable, sweaty day, but a beautiful night.
i told off a cop on the way to my lab. there was a gathering of them in the park, milling together, talking coptalk, looking authoritative and busy. as i walked by, the group dispersed and a particulary lecherous, old tough one stared at my tits for a good ten feet as he walked towards my direction. he couldnt see the horrified look on my face because he couldnt get his eyes up past my neck. as he passed me i looked straight in his face and said, "you should be ashamed of yourself." it was quite possibly the greatest thing ive ever said. i have never used that phrase before but i figured it would work particulary well on a police officer as he knows better than anyone what it is like to make other people feel ashamed. he didnt say anything but he looked away. i could have kept going and said, "shouldnt you be protecting and serving someone instead of staring at my chest?" or "isnt there a massive orgy of destruction, violence and corruption that you should be attending to?" but i really feel as though, "you should be ashamed of yourself" was dead on. hahaha. the tables have turned, motherfucker, and i am going to tell YOU what to do! from now on i am going to tell every sick fuck in this city where they can shove it. whoa, new york much?
i slept for two hours when i came back from my lab and i would have slept all night through but i had set my alarm to wake me up after it had gotten dark. for some reason, i really love the feeling of going to sleep when it's still daylight and waking up disoriented in the dark. it's like the ultimate second wind.
i smoked pot with gillian and went to K-Mart to do some massive shopping. surprisingly, i remembered all the necessities, but i also picked up a bunch of crazy shit that i now dont know what i was thinking when it was purchased. besides the large amount of munchie food - cookies, popcorn, and fruit roll-ups?, i am also the owner of the newest archie comic book. if it has been years since you have read one of these i highly recommend you get your hands on one. they are exactly the same as they were ten years ago. the best part may possibly be the "fashion section" which displays betty in some of the most horrendous get-ups ive seen since i was 6 and saw the same ones!. oh, archie, i still would do you. i mean, if you weren't animated like that. i do believe that the A-Ha video for "take on me" has set me up for a fruitless lifetime of lusting after cartoon men.
i watched the most incredible movie tonight. i wasnt feeling very well today. i truly believe that PMS does effect how nasty i am. maybe im buying into some patriarchal bullshit but when i am ragging, i am more vicious than usual. i dont mind, i just hope nobody gets in my way. so i watch this movie tonight, cuz i didnt want to go out, and i was absolutely floored. it's called schizopolis and you all really must see it. i think it may be one of the most genius peices of moviemaking ive ever seen. but watch out, it's fucking nuts. there is all this crazy language shit going on underneath the plot(?) that really um, blew my mind, for lack of a better/less disgusting aheyhaber phrase. i dont even want to attempt to explain anything about it because it demands a viewing by everyone alive. now.
i just went outside for a smoke and these two kids were playing guitars with little amps. they were so good and i watched as every person who walked by immediately perked up their ears and smiled. i told the kids that they had made every single person happier that had heard them and they were really sweet and grateful. god, i love new york. maybe things like that happen in other places but only here is such a vast range of people succeptible to it. it's so diverse here i can't even believe it. i love it. it feels like this sweet, sweet blanket of comfort now. man it's so funny how we adapt eventually. actually, evolve might be a better word.
as i wrote this kirk mack called me at 2 am from the lobby of my dorm! so, i went downstairs in clothes that were never meant to be exposed to the outside population of people who actually know me. strangers are allowed to be blinded by my slovenliness but i fear that when my friends see me in horrid pajamas with dark circles and pie eyes they get the impression that i am a)high, b)hooked on the dope or c)depressed. all of which were not true (at the moment). there were a bunch of kids with him but inly one of them came back to the room with us. his name was brian and he was really cool.we smoked a couple bowls and talked for a long time. it was good to talk to kirk. he kept telling me that i was a really good storyteller which is neat but really fucking weird to hear someone say. i showed him my comic strip from last night and he was cracking up but that could be cuz he was high. i have to find a second, sober opinion (rrrrright, where the hell am i gonna find that around here? it's like looking for the lost ark.) brian passed out a little which was unfortunate as i was really enjoying him. i talked to him a bit this morning before they left and he was really funny, and gee, teehee, cute. he had braces and for some reason i found them incredibly, god, almost sexy. am i regressing? not that braces are a sign of regression, no no, i just have never liked a boy with braces, or anyone young enough to still have braces. on the tooth-age equilibrium id be more likely to like someone with dentures than the other side of the scale. i feel infinitely foolish writing this as i have the sneaking suspicion it will bite my ass later. oh well, live and let bite.
so i ended up being social even though i took absolutely no action to be. god, if i didnt know better, id say i was popular! muwahahah. i think im going to go up to SUNY Purchase where kirk goes. rumor has it they have trees and grass up there! real ones...not like "the kind you smoke" which is what kirk asked me last night when i asked him if he had any. the campus is surrounded by a wooded area. i am convinced that everyone in lower manhattan is disturbed and maladjusted because there isnt enough green. it's really the only color that matters. call me a midwest lamer, but people need green in their lives to survive (except for, i guess, freakish people who live in alaska, or canada, but do you really want to scrape dead elk meat off the bone and eat it raw just to survive? fucking canadian savages).
ok, i have to go to sleep now so that i can wake up in three hours and go sit with a dog for the afternoon. i will explain this later as i think it may require explanation.
posted by vic
@ 07:49
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karen - that tattoo art was really amazing. im thinking maybe i'll save up money and get one from him. he's really close to where i live. of course, im really saving my money for....MALAYSIA. just wanted to make sure no one forgot about that!
posted by vic
@ 03:01
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I'm writing from home now. It's so so sweet to be home. I flew into O'Hare and relaxed...I sat in the back seat of my taxi cab as the cab driver kept on laughing inappropriatly and loudly and relaxed a little more (actually, I think I tensed up a little more, because I thought my life was in danger---what drug could possibly cause that reaction?) And as I walked in the door, I felt like I could breathe again. This isn't to say that I felt stifled in Montreal, but there was some kind of wave of tranquility that came over me the second I stepped in here. When my dad answered the door, he said "Oh Danylko! Come in DANYLKO!" because it was still a surprise for my mom. I jumped into the kitchen (after I walked to it) and screamed "surprise!" and my mom ran up to me and hugged me and started crying and saying how much she missed me. It was such a great feeling.
Karen- I live with two howyousay "jews" and they both said they weren't offended by the phrase because we asked them before....
Mark- I love Midninght Cowboy---I didn't know anybody else young knew it existed
posted by Record Album
@ 02:23
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Friday, October 06, 2000
also, some of the most beautiful art I've ever seen.
posted by K-Lo
@ 20:58
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help me out here people! I need you to remind me of the other Jewish stereotype: I remember the money grubbing one, isn't there another one? possibly pertaining to their small dicks? or mama's boys? let me know. ohy yeah! and do you call thems "Jews"?(please do not be offended, I am mearly curious. I wish to learn more of vicki's kind...)
posted by K-Lo
@ 20:55
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Chi-town rocks! Rode the most excellent CTA again for the first time in a month or so. People kept asking me about my mandolin. On the way to visiting Fr. V I met a drunk texan who proceeded to ask me how to get to Navy Pier (I'm wondering if this was sposed to be a pass word or something to that effect ala Midnight Cowboy the greatest movie ever) and then proceeded to ask me what my favorite drink was(his you ask? Absolut with a cherry in it.) SO I said good day to him and went on my merry way. Doodily doo
mister m
posted by marko
@ 20:02
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okay okay, she's a "warrior princess", i believe you.
i took my mental health parade route from lagrange to riverside today. i didn't have an appointment in lagrange beforehand, i just really love that short stretch of ogden through brookfield and berwyn and all that good stuff. so anywho, i met with doctor c----k. kathy suggested i tell him about my drug use, so i did. he proceeded to lecture me until he realized he was preaching to the choir. he also tried to discredit our theory that everyone smokes pot. he put me back on the zoloft, which he took me off of in august.
dr. r.j.c. jr.: in retrospect, maybe taking you off the zoloft wasn't such a good idea. oh shit -- is this my fault?!?!
marisa j. mitchell: yeah. well. what's done is done. no kidding, jackass.
dr. r.j.c. jr.: that's a good attitude to have. phew! she has no idea...
marisa j. mitchell: yeah. yes i do. but you're not getting away with anything.
he sent me out the door with a couple of prescriptions and i made an appointment for later this month. i have been gradually losing respect for r.j.c. jr. over the the past few months, and this visit really did it. i felt like the same man who once told me i understated things was doing just that. i don't think he had any grip on what was going on. he has communicated very poorly over the past several months, and even today. all of this helps to further prove my theory that finding a good psychiatrist is not easy business. i will gladly take his suggestion to find one closer to school when i return.
while i was in the area, i went to wild oats to do the grocery shopping. as i rolled my cart down the tea aisle i saw a familiar face staring back at me. couldn't figure out who it was until the face said "moe!" ah, yes, good ol' joe. always run into him at random places in the greater lagrange area. we caught up a bit, he shopped with me, then went to clock out (he works there now), and said he'd be right back. i finished up my shopping and left without finding him again, but that's okay, i'm sure we'll collide again sometime soon.
but right now, i am going to take a bath.
posted by marisa jo
@ 16:46
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Yes, Lucy Lawless is indeed Xena, Warrior Princess! Part time superheroine, part time lesbian...
My sister sent me an e-mail from Prague today---I'm so excited!
posted by Record Album
@ 15:30
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Hey Marisa, Lucy Lawless = Xena, Warrior Princess. (Steph, back me up!) love you
posted by rayve nation
@ 01:09
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Thursday, October 05, 2000
i, too, watched a movie this evening. i caught my mom watching another teen movie. it was just a few minutes in, and i sat down to watch it because what the hell else have i got to do? it was called "eight days a week". have you ever heard of this? me neither. i sat through the entire thing and it was twisted and funny and i laughed and i enjoyed it. it was about a boy who spends his summer sitting outside a girl's window. i invite this boy to come sit outside my window any day, whoever he is, as he was dreamy and fabulous.
and i love you too vicki.
actually, i love all of you and thank you for your support. it means a lot to me.
i'm going to go drink a glass of water now. goodnight.
posted by marisa jo
@ 22:40
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i just watched chasing amy with daneane and now i am going to draw, draw, draw until i can draw no more. i have been seriously neglecting all the creative energy jammed up inside me so desperate to be tapped. god, i love that movie.
kevin smith - i love you. simply. truly. we are meant to be. and i will find you, hunt you down, go to your place of business and drive past your house everyday until...wait a second! hahaha. those is jokes, and inside ones at that!
goodnight all.
i love you marisa.
posted by vic
@ 21:42
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So for God knows how long I have been planning to go to New York to visit Vicki this weekend. but with my swift planning methods which involves waiting till the last minute to get a cheap ticket things went bad. I got bitten in the ass, and bus and train tickets are too expensive for a twelve hour trip. It all sucks, but something good has gotten out of it. Tickets to chicago, on a websaver cost only 150 canadian, so I decided to fly home instead and suprise my parents. This way I'll probly catch up on my work. I have this plot where I told my parents that a girl I know is gonna drop off a package between 10-11 from me on friday night, so somebody needs to be home. I really like surpises. In fact I love surprises---that's all I want to do with the rest of my life---surprise people. It will be a nice relief to go home though. Oh, in the anti-climactic portion of my day---my bro and T were supposed to find out what sex the baby is, but I guess the appointment was changed to next week and all my anticipation was crushed.
Vic--I'm so sorry that this weekend didn't turn out, I really wanted to see you!
marisa- good luck with this year--I hope everything will turn out for the best for you
matt--i liked your chops!---this weekend'll be good
mr juillard- i realized you're full of shit and i'm glad to be rid of you
posted by Record Album
@ 20:56
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i sat through a terrible episode of "saturday night live" earlier this evening just because the description said "host lucy lawless (who is she?), musical guest elliott smith." but apparently the folks at the funny channel don't like elliott, because they edited out his songs instead of any of those horrid skits(i.e.: will farrell playing a homeless hepatitis infected nude art class model, really not funny, lorne), and he only appeared on the closing credits when said "lawless" character thanked him. so nuts to you, funny channel. woe is me. ah, but sweet elliott will be mine in just twenty-nine short days.
facial hair can be incredibly sexy. it can also be hideous. it really depends, folks. you, uncle matt, are able to pull it off. but if you choose not to, then that's fine, too. you're a looker either way.
nanu, nanu.
posted by marisa jo
@ 20:33
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THere's seeds in my pass out game from Ebay AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
posted by marko
@ 20:27
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Oh yeah. By the way, Marisa.
South Side Pride!
I think I have a LaGrange little league shirt somewhere.
Oh yeah, I shaved my sideburns. Why couldn't one of you tell me how ugly they were? Heh. Sure, it's cool, I can grow facial hair... But that fact really doesn't outweigh the fact that
facial hair is really ugly.
Did I just write that?
posted by heinous
@ 17:20
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Hey guys. I'm tired as all hell, but I think that just may be caffeine withdrawal. I'm having a great time here, though. Everybody is really cool. Why do I always get terrible writer's block when I try to do this? Oh well. Marisa, I think you're making a wise decision. If you're going to be in town, you should come hang out with me. We can have lots of sober fun. I'm not much of a drinker, and don't plan on being much of a drinker, after a bad experience with a bottle of Jack Daniels and sushi. I have this weird thing where I start drinking straight from the bottle until I finish it after I've had a couple mixed drinks. It scares me; alcoholism is in my genes. Anyway, yeah. The last few times I've gotten drunk, I've felt poisoned. That's all it is, you know. Throws the good old homeostatic chemical balance out the window. I mean, I've had nights where I just have a couple beers, and I enjoy that. But I'm tired of that numb-lipped heavy-limbed feeling, and I'm tired of waking up and getting on the bus only to be told that I smell like booze by random people. Enough of that. Anyway, Steph just told me she's gonna come visit this weekend. Yay Steph! I love having people over. You guys are all welcome any time. Like I said, you can get my number in my blogger profile. Oh, fuck it. 834 6613. You all know the area code. Please, call me. I want to talk to all of you. Mark, you have to explain that weird email to me. Alright. I'm gonna go take a nap and do a weeks worth of calculus. Woohoo! So long, and thanks for all the fish. Oh, wait. Auf Deutsch.
Auf Wiedersehen!
posted by heinous
@ 17:13
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i have never claimed, nor will i, that addiction is a sham. it is real, it has hurt you, and it has hurt me. what i was attempting to illustrate with the silly baseball analogy is that drugs and alcohol can be used recreationally. just because someone uses them regularly does not mean they have a physical addiction. i'm not out to offend, and i apologize.
posted by marisa jo
@ 00:21
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Wednesday, October 04, 2000
okay...maybe i shouldnt post this but im going to anyway.
addiction: whew. it's a biggie. i've got it, you've got it, the american people have got it. i am so proud of you marisa that you are going to be sober for this break. it will change everything. alcohol is a depressant. we all know that. and whether or not you're addicted to it doesnt change the fact that after anyone drinks, they feel like shit.
but this baseball/nose-picking in comparison to drugs and alcohol is bullshit. no amount of shifting in perspective is going to make me think otherwise. baseball and nosepicking dont stop you from feeling, they dont make you numb, they're not escapist strategies, they dont make you lose touch with the outside world and yourself. BASEBALL DIDNT RUIN MY FUCKING CHILDHOOD. okay? ALCOHOLISM RUINED MY CHILDHOOD. alcoholism ruined my mother's marriage and my father's life. alcoholism is the reason that i am STILL fucked up and will never be right. im not trying to blame my problems on something else, not in the least bit. but i am not alone here. marisa, when you act as though addiction is some made-up la-la fantasy land thing that doesnt really exist you are ignoring the fact that millions of lives are ruined by it. you've tried to convince me of this before and it really hurts me. dont not validate 15 years of my feelings. i cant even fucking fathom that you would dare say that a shift in perspective changes any of this. maybe if i had just changed my perspective my father wouldnt have drank a bottle of tequila and a case of beer every night, right? i certainly did not make up every crying, screaming match ive had with an addict. addiction is real. and when you say, "i can live without drugs, therefore i am not addicted", it might as well come out of a fucking textbook under the word: denial. it's classic addict logic. my father can live without drinking, he has for two years, he's still an addict. i can live without smoking cigarettes but im still physically addicted to them. my father also said that alcoholism was a "habit" and his "lifestyle". he said those exact words. and then he tore my mother's heart out. you do what you have to do, but dont think for a second that you're above addiction, because you're not. addiction doesnt discriminate, marisa. you're not ubermensch, no matter how many times we joke about it.
so break the habit, please. i will support you one hundred percent. you know that i am not talking so much about smoking pot, i am talking about you stopping this phony void-fill with shit that isnt real. i know this was kinda harsh but i have been keeping this in for a long time and reading that sobriety paragraph i just broke. it's not fair marisa, it's not fair to me and to everyone else who loves you. you can stop doing drugs and drinking but until you admit that maybe, just maybe they effect who you are in negative and extremely real ways, you're not gonna make a damn bit of progress. wake the fuck up.
posted by vic
@ 22:52
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i just caught myself up on the past few days worth of posts and i'm laughing, i mean really laughing, for the first time in days. thank you, friends, for such sweet, sweet comic relief. it was much needed.
i love "high fidelity" and i love my vagina. so there. (reason#2945 i cannot be a women's studies major. if they found out, i'd get canned. so please don't tell).
karen: i am so glad to hear things are better @ osu. i was worried.
mike: i love that picture of carol channing, and i love you.
john: you crack me up.
kelly: you are much to funny. and i owe you an email.
the rest of you: burn in hell (those is jokes, folks).
typing without an ergonomic keyboard is extremely challenging, and it is taking me a long time to type this. oh my.
stayed at vicki's house with ginger for a few days. slept. a lot. at my mom's house now. i've been seeing kathy everyday and will continue to do so. i see doctor c----k on friday, i think.
i made a big fat hairy decision today: i'll be taking the rest of the semester off on medical leave. i really don't want to, but i understand that it is what i need to do in order to take care of myself. i can't tell you how hard this is. for the first time ever, i felt satisfied with my surroundings, and now i have to uproot myself, even if only for a few months. i already miss everybody. i talked with both janine and diana tonight, and it's good to know i've got such support from everyone there. everyone keeps telling me i'm "brave" and "strong" for doing what i "have to do", but i feel like i'm being weak, like i'm running away. i just have to keep reminding myself that this will all be better eventually, that taking this break will have me running at full speed come second semester, instead of just trying to get by this time around. i was flipping through my journal today and remembered that i've felt like this since the first week of school. but i was so fucking determined that i could do it, that i could fight off my demons and get good grades, so i pushed those feelings of doubt aside for a few weeks. and then they all came back this past weekend. and here i am. i also have to keep telling myself that taking this leave now is good, because who knows what would have happened if i kept riding this thing out.
another element of this break: sobriety. and i do not consider myself to be an addict of any sort (stop rolling your eyes, all of you, right now). it is my lifestyle, those are my habits. some people play baseball and pick their noses. are they addicts? no! they love baseball and nosepicking. i do drugs and pick my nose. does that make me an addict? no! it just means i love drugs and nosepicking. i can live without drugs, therefore i am not addicted. perhaps you see this as justification, but i see it as a shift in perspective. there is not a doubt in my mind that i can break the habit of indulging on a daily basis, thankyouverymuch.
tomorrow i need to call my advisor and inform her of my decision, and discuss what happens from here. sunday i am going back to school to pick up a few things (i.e. clothing, as i am wearing these green-striped pajama pants and lagrange fire dept tee-shirt for the second week now) and to hang out for a bit, clear up whatever confusion remains there.
but for now, i would just like to tell all you goddamn northside brats... HA! who's in the playoffs? not your cubbies! that's right! ahh... southside pride... (uncle matt, back me up here). and while i'm on the subject of chicago.... vicki, was it you who tried to tell me that joliet was changed from juliet? (as to accommodate "romeo(ville) & juliet). well i read that in this "chicago almanac" crap book at your house today, and i think i'll write that jackass writer a letter and set his ass straight. fools...
goodnight folks.
posted by marisa jo
@ 22:07
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i went to my tai chi class today where i was made aware of my horrible posture which stems from the fact that i cant keep my shoulders down and they are constantly popping up. even when i stand up straight, these stupid shoulders are still raised. so, after class i went up to my instructor, sebastian, a very tall, lanky 40 year old who looks 20, black man and asked him what i could do. he smiled a bit and said, well, you could do this...and proceeded to grab onto a chunk of fat under my arm between my back and my front and squeeze the bloody hell out of it. "you feel that?", he said. writhing in pain, trying to free myself from his deathgrip i squeeze out a weak, "yeeesss." "you gotta massage that. everyday. that muscle shouldnt be that tight." while i was very flattered that he choose the term "muscle" to describe what mass was clutched between his fingers, he was still squeezing the hell outta me. then he jammed his hand up under my sweaty armpit and said, "right there too. your homework will be to massage that whenever you're working or watching tv or not doing anything else." then i picked myself up off the floor and left in disbelief that this man did not recoil from my hot, wet pit or immediatley wipe his hand after touching me. of course god knows what horrified faces he made after i left! damn, he grabbed me like ive never been grabbed before. i think it's gonna leave a mark.
frankie - i dont know what that guestbook message about me saying one thing and writing another is supposed to mean. yeah, ive been known to dump bong water out my window. so sue me.
love you all, goodnight.
posted by vic
@ 21:54
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Can somebody please appreciate this?
posted by rayve nation
@ 18:50
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Ahh, yes. I agree about your mother knowing when people are high. I remember one time I was standing in the kitchen, being all shady ad trying to avoid her because I was high, and she jumped out from behind the refridgerator, and was like "BOO!", and I screamed in pure terror. She totally would not have done that if I wasn't stoned. It was great.
posted by rayve nation
@ 18:17
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LowSodiumE (4:55:08 PM): so really, no fucking around, is this something you
want to get started with me on? is this worth it to you? im being dead serious now
posted by rayve nation
@ 18:13
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yes. I have always known this. Your mom definitely knows what's up. Most of the time I'd try to talk to her and act normal, but I really believe there was always a mental mutual understanding, "karen is high" "ginger knows I'm high." and then we'd talk about the basketball game. ha! great! what great person!
So vicki, did you say "uh, no" to somehow get her to think you never were high in front of her or what? I've discovered the problem with your ass: it needs to be smarter towards authority figures. you totally should have told her about all the times you knew she was high. that would have been great. ginger: "I have to go get gas now!" [minutes later ginger's return from the "gas station"] vicki: wow, what smells like pot?!" [cue wally and missed opportunity to catch sister in the act].
got really high again last night and watched half baked for the first time- needless to say it was poetry in motion. on a side note, we should smoke more blunts. blunts are good.
also, another jewish kid I met reminds me of Jon Lovitz- it's so much nicer to be high around and celebrity. even if he's not real, he's just as funny.
posted by K-Lo
@ 18:09
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the up is jig
i do believe my mother just uttered the most horrifying words to me of all time. we're talking about kids doing drugs (surprise) and she says, "well, i mean, i can always tell when YOU'RE high!" to which i spit out all the air in my lungs. she says, "you always have trouble looking me in the eye, right?" and i say, "uh, no" and she goes, "oooh, i must be confusing it with something else then. heh heh heh."
yes, my mom does know everything. god, why do i have to keep re-learning this lesson? she is a supreme being full of unboundless wisdom and bullshit-detecting! all hail my mother! she knows what you're doing, she knows who you are!
posted by vic
@ 17:19
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Vic ... could you please give me an email. Gracious thanks.
posted by marko
@ 10:40
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oi. i don't read the page for a couple days and look what i miss: an entire psuedo argument about vaginas. oh, but it isn't really just about vaginas, is it. Homecoming is in T-3 days and i need to write 3 college essays or i won't be able to go to the ball. i used to feel my procrastion ablilities were a gift; now, ijust don't know. Does anyone have any goals for me? Good Luck Karen! Fred, i hardly knew ye.
posted by Kelljoy
@ 06:57
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Karen--try Chong's site!
posted by egeus
@ 01:23
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But what is this "Do you want to keep running scripts on this page?" message?
posted by egeus
@ 01:17
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Ok, Karen, I don't know what you want because I was unstoned cold sober when I read that. And I am writing this with a kindly smile on my face. But anyway, we arent reading Socrates for a couple more weeks. Although concerning the NCAA I think that while they may only test for championships, your school will possibly test you.
"Allow.Allow me."
posted by egeus
@ 01:13
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when I read Frankie's entry which reminded me of high fidelity, I felt compelled to write, but then i was easily lured away by food. the first week of school, one of the roommates, talia mentioned that she loves that movie, further proving the theory because she's a vagina-hater if I've ever seen one
posted by Record Album
@ 00:38
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Tuesday, October 03, 2000
ps I went to the web site regarding NCAA drug testing and I think they only test when competing in the actual championship. on the list of banned drugs under the heading "Street Drugs" was marijuana with this footnote: "for marijuana and THC- if the concentration in urine of THC metabolite exceeds 15 nanograms/ml." So Socrates, how many days before the championship do you figure I'll have to quit?
posted by K-Lo
@ 23:20
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John, John, John, John, John. While I greatly appreciate your trying to explain the hugging thing to me, all possible reasons- 1, 2 and 2, I had to read it twice before I understood a goddamned thing. take it easy Socrates (soe-krates) dude.
posted by K-Lo
@ 23:12
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you all know that i hate to make rules but the movie "high fidelity" is no longer allowed to be mentioned in my presence, virtually or otherwise. im not going into details here because you can already read in frankie's guestbook entry what i would rather do than watch the last twenty minutes of that piece of trash ever again. the point is that john cusack hates vaginas. and i hate him.
posted by vic
@ 22:19
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Can you guys tell me what this error message is about continuing to run scripts on the page after an erreor has occured?
posted by egeus
@ 21:56
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I'm not sure about that guys hugging thing. I think that it is a combination of a couple of things: 1)a male's desire to appear sensitive and yet invincible. "By giving you this hug I show that I am a megalith that stands the test of time. I will hug you whenever you "need" it" 2)a male's opportunity to show off whatever deodorant/cologne he may be wearing. 2) a male's irrational fantasy that the hug will morph into a kiss, which fantasy is seemingly endorsed by such movies as Hi Fidelity (the car scene: My dad died. I need a hug. Well, as long as we are hugging lets have sex. In the movie of course there were other dfactors involved, such as the previously established relationship between the couple, but that is extraneous in the eyes of the wily hugger.)
posted by egeus
@ 21:52
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it's so funny how things change. i am so happy. right here. right now. i feel free in a way i never have before. i feel in complete control of my life. and while this is scary because i no longer have the option of blaming my choices on anyone else, it's really amazing because everything i do is a decision i am making for myself. if i fuck up at this point, it's my fault. but if i do something great, it's cuz i did it on my own. oooh sweet, sweet responsibility, why have i been running from you for so long? i've made the decision to do something incredible. i am right now in the position to make my life beautiful and i think this is one decision im not going to make poorly. wow, mom, is this growing up?
posted by vic
@ 21:38
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Ok Vicki. One of my favorite moments from last weekend:
Picture this: You and I are siting on the floor, while Jason, Aaron, and Pat are sitting on your bed. We are all stoned off our gourds, naturally, and you are talking to Pat. "Are you a creep?" you ask him suddenly. "no," he replies quite suprised. "Well, I am!" you say with a smug look on your face, and then you burst out laughing.
posted by rayve nation
@ 18:02
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shit. shit. shit.
I have to have a physical and most likely a drug test for crew. the guys I smoked wth last night are all like, "we'll get you through this," and they know about a couple products that should help. aw jeez. I'm scared. I don't know when I have to do it though so I'm going to stop smoking until then. The guy that lives across the hall, John, is this huge Jewish kid who should be a sophomore, but "he fucked up." hmmm. he is also a little too friendly for my taste. "do you need a hug? c'mere." [ do a lot of guys think they can help you with a hug, or is it just a cheap feel?] woe is me.
posted by K-Lo
@ 17:37
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Ok I was wrong. I apologize.
posted by egeus
@ 10:38
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john if i had any energy left i would tell you to shut-up. we're not having an argument internet stylee, especially not on this page. if you didnt keep saying stupid shit you wouldnt have to keep defending yourself.
posted by vic
@ 07:54
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bullshit, muthafuckah.
crazy shit- I just fucking marathoned it with a bunch of guys I just met tonight. we christened the bowl Steph, it's beautiful....still needs a name (it's a bunch of different shades of blue, any ideas?) holy shit I just checked it out and it's turning orange!!! These were really cool kids. They had a bong made out of one of those huge water jugs- those Culligan things- you know? it had a bell on it!!! and a litte gauge that tells you when you're sucking too hard made from the top of a clicker pen. the best part is, they used it to collect money for a fake charity to rent an apartment to smoke in.--i'm assured it's not as bad as it sounds because it was in Lake Osweego, WA a really wealthy area. whatever, man it's fucking amazing.
Then we watched a movie on a fucking big screen projector in Gonzo's room. I know a kid named Gonzo. nuts nuts nuts. I love and miss you all.
(John, you are wrong)
please mforgive me. I'm very stoned.
posted by K-Lo
@ 03:54
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If it bothered you so much Vic, why did you wait until the afterthought blog to complain about it?
posted by egeus
@ 02:07
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Um, can I ask for just a little taste of reality? I was referring to OTHER feminists, those who might not know us, (losers because they have nothing better to do than read the pages of strangers and police them for such jokes and complain or something) because they might take it out of the context that I am aligned alright with feminists and tell the occaisional joke at the expense of women because people who know me (like all of you) know that I am not serious in the least and can take their finger off the trigger of their "I'm going to pretend to be offended and get ornery" gun for long enough to wonder about the punchline (which, I don't know why, I forgot to insert: a woman) and laugh at it when it comes.
And I have never heard that joke before today, this isn't short term or long term memory loss, Karen.
posted by egeus
@ 02:05
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Monday, October 02, 2000
I am in a very bad place right now, surrounded by pot smokers with no fucking pot.
posted by K-Lo
@ 23:17
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Hey John - why don't you go and whatever dude smoke weed every day, ok?
posted by rayve nation
@ 21:21
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John, I second that emotion- don't smoke and blog. when other people (vicki/mike) do it, it's funny. When you do it, it hurts to read. Also, as a feminist I'd like to say I liked that joke....the first time I heard it from you LAST SUMMER. it wasn't that good, dude. time to put it to bed. gracias.
vic, it did make sense. and mike, ms. rosetta stoned? brilliant, fucking brilliant!! bravo!
holy pot smoke, Batman! Some weird kid named John just came in my room and asked me to go to his room so he could talk to me. turns out he deals, but he's dry right now. whatever, I've got a future hook up across the hall, yeeha!
posted by K-Lo
@ 20:56
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oh and that joke is really inappropriate and extremely offensive and you should take it down. this is a feminist loser talking right here.
posted by vic
@ 20:09
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hey john - what the FUCK are you talking about? i, vicki, am the person whose fish died, not karen. nothing you wrote made any sense! hey dude, dont smoke and blog. only you will understand what you were trying to say. the rest of us will have to get our high translator, ms. rosetta stoned, to tell us what it means.
by the way, ms. rosetta stoned appears courtesy of michael ray.
p.p.s. i am aware that this post makes no sense either. dammit.
posted by vic
@ 20:08
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John, i am really in awe of the fact that you said feminist losers, because from what I surmise, most everyone who writes on this page is a feminist, and the answer to the joke being woman doesn't humor me in the least bit, and I could really rip you to shreds right now, but I don't feel the need...and just remember, I dish it out I don't take it (double standard, what?)
uh, one love....
posted by Record Album
@ 20:00
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Ok Steph here is some retribution for the velvet comment. I take no responsinbility for this joke. Feminists losers of the world who read our page, be warned. What do you call the extra flesh around a vagina?
posted by egeus
@ 19:45
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Karen, don't they have a return policy for the fish? Most places do. You just bring in your fish and they give you one that is still alive. Vicki, you have to be careful with your vengeance. It is really potent. I say that only because when I read about your exploits with that dumbass, I felt a ripple of self confidence in a flashback type way from soph year. One of those thoughts ran through my head (the kind that can be translated into words but originate in the mind as a thought/feeling like when you're dreaming and you know something about the dream without knowing why.) and it said, roughly, "Wow, good, I am ok because there is a male in the world worse than me. Vicki says so." PS Karen, did you find a connection?
posted by egeus
@ 19:21
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This one goes out to my dead homey, Fred.
Mike, why do you hang out with that weirdo?
Vicki, that 5 bags in a drawer thing was quite possibly the best karma story I've ever heard.
Whenever I go visit you, I want to meet those guys in the park. They're the only ones who don't buy your act.(the "i'm sober, i'm just naturally crazy act") gotta love that.
I've found a kid who spent his senior year in Amsterdam, I think we all know why.
posted by K-Lo
@ 17:18
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Hey vicki, um, can I ask you a philosophical question?
posted by egeus
@ 16:00
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ding dong my fish is dead
that's right, my little buddy, fred died mysteriously sometime between my first class and 3:00 pm. he led a happy, furiously fast-paced short, little life. he left behind his entrails, streaming out of him, for me to remember him by. i guess we've all learned a lesson here: just because i have the munchies, does not mean my fish does too.
every single person to walk in this room has suggested making a bong out of that fishbowl, now i guess i finally can.
r.i.p. fred september 21 - oct 2
posted by vic
@ 15:39
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stop me if you've heard this one before...
friday: mike comes to visit. he is, of course, excrutiangly late but that was fine because while i stood outside smoking and pacing for two hours thnking that he was in jail, i met a bunch of really cool people (including the boy on the 8th floor who will be mine. muwahaha.) he finally rolls up around 2 am i run up to the car screaming and hooting, causing jason (who had driven mike up) to say, "dude, that girl is tweaking me out." haha, oooh...IM tweaking YOU out? just wait.
jason and i park the car and walk back to the dorms, get mike, laura and becky and come up to my room to chill. around quarter to four, at the point in which there was no oxygen left in my room, the dorm fire alarm goes off and consequently i have freak-out #1. i wasnt freaking out too bad cuz i couldnt move fast enough to give it my all, but becky and i did manage to hide every single tool of fire we could...cigarette packs, ashtrays, candles, dame edna. it was all shoved in different places around the room. to add to the paranoia, it just happened that there was an extremely large amount of contraband in the room and i was certain that the police were going to search through everything and i was going to go to jail for a long, long time. when we got downstairs with the other 1000 kids who live here, i saw that there were 5 firetrucks and no police cars so it seemed more likely that this was NOT about me, it was an actual fire. they had to move all the students to other dorms so 1000 kids in pajamas crossed manhattan at 4 in the morning together. except for jason, mike and me, we went to ben's pizzaria and ate shitty pizza and listened as each shady person in there told how they had out-run the cops that night. when we returned to the dorm i asked the cop if they were letting kids in yet. he said, "yeah, you can go in as soon as you finish that cigarette. you kids and your smoking. you know that's how this thing happened! damn kid fell asleep smoking in bed. whole damn mattress went up. you know an entire room can go up in 5 minutes?! he was on the 4th floor. what floor are YOU on?" "6th", i say, exhaling. "pretty close", he says in typical cop new york accent. so we went upstairs and after a nasty period of me trying to hint to jason that he was not going to be sleeping in my bed, and him not seeming to get it, all was solved and we went to bed with the sun just coming up.
saturday: mike and i get up, shower, get dressed and are all ready to go but jason still has not moved from his place on the floor. tons of action has occured, people have been in and out, loud conversations have been had, but he has barely moved. when we tell him that we are going to go, time to get up, he pulls the covers over his head and says, "im not going". now, mike and i dont know what to do because i dont remember having any 4 year old to take care of, but i guess i do, and he's a grown man in my bed. of course we're like, "uh, what?" and he says, "im not going. i feel like a third wheel. i dont want to go out." so we try to convince him that no, he's NOT a third wheel, but he's not having it. mike goes to the can and he peeks his face out from under the covers at me just enough so that i can see his teary eyes and his sad-face and then pulls the covers back up. at this point i am trying not to laugh. i really want to say, "oh get OVER yourself and suck it up!", but instead i tell him that he can stay here and chill out and we'll be back in a couple hours. he agrees to this and as we leave mike, in typical mike "im in denial about YOUR situation" ray stylee says, "i hope you feel better jason, im sure all you need is rest."
mike and i have a lovely day. we get music, eat in little india, go to a flea market and impulsively buy a ton of winter clothes, talk to drug dealers in the park: just wonderful. i bought a nice cheap winter coat from this guy at the flea market. when i was trying on most of the coats, none would fit over my chest and i was getting frustrated and the old black man who was selling them says, "that's okay baby, you dont wanna trade a coat for what you've got there." and we laughed. he then promised to find a coat that fit, and he did. mike went apeshit and bought two hats in two minutes. we smoked a cigarette in the park and the drugdealers on the bench across from us said, "damn, you can tell she smokes. yeah, i can tell it in your eyes. she smokes out of a bong. she takes one hit and she's like, "BONG!" mike and i cracked up. we said no thanks when one of them said, "i've got the only 20 dollar sacks in the whole park". then he said, "fine, but you know you're going to be looking for me later". then the other one started make some analogy about how when you get stoned you'd eat anything, even dog shit and he had a funny little bit he did with it.
well, we get home, jason is still asleep and we wake him up to go to dinner. we smoke and walk over to little italy. during dinner i disagree with jason's opinion that drugs unite people because, well, gee perhaps because it's bullshit! pot unites people while they're smoking it...cuz they're high. and i dont have a problem with that but im not gonna kid myself. jason gets very upset with this and says im insulting his culture, his one belief. um, sorry, but you're insulting my intelligence. he then tells me to "stop laughing so loud", and as karen had to find out, this is not a suggestion that i take lightly.freak out #2: so i bitch him out in the restaurant and it was a relatively quiet walk home. when we get home i call my friends aaron and pat to come over and we have a good time hanging out with them. marisa calls at around 2 am in much distress and aaron and pat go home around 3 when i call her back. mike and jason are both lying down sleeping and all the lights are out in the room except for the glare of the computer. near the end of our conversation, which was incredibly personal (and im not that kinda girl...um, obviously), she apologizes for calling when i have people over and i say, "that's okay, they're asleep". i then hear jason's voice say, "im not asleep". freak-out #3: i ignore this comment as it is incredibly creepy and when i hang up the phone he comes over and starts "comforting me". i am not comfortable at all so im like, "it's okay,man...dont worry about it". to which he replies, "ooh, totally dissed. so...no make-out then?" now im ready to deck him. i start screaming "no, jason, no make-out. jesus christ!" and i finally get into bed still yelling. i whisper to mike, who is barely breathing on the floor, "you're dead fucking meat" and he gives the response of the century, "whatever, dude, smoke weed everyday." we both crack up and jason asks if he can move to the hallway to sleep because obviously there is something going on between me and him and he cant stand to be in this room because he has too many bad associations with it (nice bullshit logic there, poindexter). i tell him no, he cant, cuz other people live here and that is SO creepy, but he keeps bugging me until i was at the point where he could have slept with the fishes for all i cared. so i scream to go sleep in the hallway and mike STILL wont wake up and help me deal with all of this! 5 mintues later jason is knocking on the door telling me that he has to leave because he's going to kill himself. my best friend calls me in a bad, bad place, im all shook up, it's 4 in the morning and NOW this kid is gonna kill himself? is he fist-fucking me? freak-out # 4: i have to wrestle him on the ground to pull his backpack out of his hands. meanwhile, mike (a full grown man) is watching me do this with this horrified look on his face. the whole time i was shaking and hyperventilating but almost laughing really hard because the situation was so bizarre and just ridiculous! i argue with him for over an hour screaming/explaining that he CANT go walk to the carpark at 4 am because he's going to get mugged but he is absolutely insane and for some reason he thinks im trying to keep him there not for his own safety but because im evil. i couldnt get it through to him that i didnt WANT him to stay because i liked him, but out of responsibility and basic care for all human beings. finally he pisses me off to the point where i kick him out, sign him out and go downstairs to get him a cab. mike is still dazed as a motherfucker - "ummm, i cant handle this. im stoned." freak-out #5: i cant find a cab on the street and he decides he wants to get mike and GO HOME at 5:30 in the morning. i tell him that's not possible and he says, "i need to go somewhere people care about me". fucking a. i start screaming again and somebody comes out of the park to tell me to look for cabs on west 3rd. if i didnt care about this kid i would have told him where the car was parked and let him figure out how to get there with a blanket, 2 bags and a cd case at 4 in the morning in new york city with his country bumpkin ass. i shove him in the cab, tell the cabbie where to go and as im going back to the dorm i run into gillian. gillian puts the whole thing in perspective as she reminds me that this kid isnt crazy in the clinical sense, he's attention starved and immature. thank you. at 6:30 he calls from downstairs and mike leaves in a whirlwind blaze of glory.
overall, a fabulous weekend made even more fabulous by the fact that later that evening when i opened up my top drawer to get a pen i was greeted by 5 bags that a certain someone had accidentally forgotten in their haste to leave. so now all my friends are going to get a little treat for free. oooh, looks like pot DOES unify people!
i love you mike, i couldnt have done it without you...oh wait, i did it all without you, jerk! oh, but just seeing you there made everything a million times better. the greatest part was that this asshole's outburst didnt ruin anything, it just added to the insanity of everything. it was like the out of towners, but without steve martin, or goldie hawn, or anything like the out of towners. ok, it wasnt like that at all, but man, it was still damn great and i still wanna make out with steve martin.
posted by vic
@ 14:07
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ha ha
posted by K-Lo
@ 00:07
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Sunday, October 01, 2000
It's the little things in life...
As I sit here alone in my room with Crosstown Traffic blaring, eatin' a salad from the country store with packaging materials strewn across the room like I got a letter bomb, I realized it's the little things in life that get me through it. Steph, I got the package. the bowl is beautiful. The tape is great (I'm only at gichi gichi yah yah, though- but it looks great). I think Mixed taps are one of the best gifts a person can give/get. brilliant. Cat Stevens!!! Oh my god! I was high in Michael's room watching TV last night and a Cat Steven box set commercial came on. after hating him for years for no apparent reason, that infomecial made me fucking love him!! and Paint it Black is the reason I met Michael! Steph there's some kind of crazy telepathic communication going on here. I love you! None of your business!!Hah!! brilliant!!
New revelation: the little things can also make you crazy. I forgot to get a fork and I have to eat this salad with a spoon. shit.
posted by K-Lo
@ 16:59
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Hey, I just got done washing the dirt off the dirt on my car. I'll save the other layers of grime for another month. My car has a funny smell, rusted hubcaps, dirt permently ingrained on the dashboard, and a layer of ceiling cloth that's falling so it touches your head, but i love it- in that way a mother loves a child. Some people may look at a baby and say "good god, don''t you think your cat is uncomfortable dressed in those childrens' clothes?," but to a mother, that child is the greatest being on the earth. I'm ready for my freaking lisence. I;ve had this blueslip for a year and a half, and i want the real thing, man. I went driving with my grandma yesterday. She got upset when i went 5mph over a speed bump and said i should have slowed to an almost stop. i said that was ridiculous. then i went 17mph over the next one and was branded "overconfident." It was the closest to being angry i've ever actually seen my grandma get. I've been so busy with my college shit, and yet, it feels like i get nothing done, and that's because nothing is getting done. I spent my entire sdaturday working on them and yet i still have 3 essays to write. My great feat for today is to write a personal stament and goals essay that deosn't reflect the fact i have no goals at this point. well, that's just a little slice of kelly pie, i'm off.
posted by Kelljoy
@ 14:35
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PS check this shit out---possibly the funniest page on the internet: www.gunssavelife.com (Go to the hatemail page.)
posted by egeus
@ 14:21
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Jeez, is it the weekend yet? Daniel's (my room mate's) girlfriend just went back to virginia. Finally. Now I get to hang out in my own room and sleep in my own bed. Happy belqated birfday Mike. Um, stephanie, if i had such an iron woill as you I would ignore that velvet comment. Aight I have to go finish my cat dissection. ugh.
posted by egeus
@ 14:11
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things i forgot: marisa - i love you. forever. i will call you tomorrow/today (god what am i doing up?).
full reports on the longest weekend of my fucking life will be up later. i love you all so much. god, i wish i was on an island right now. oh shit, i am.
posted by vic
@ 05:26
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dear mike,
you are very funny but the next time i ask you to deal with your friend who i have nothing to do with and is driving me up the wall and you roll over and say, "whatever dude, smoke weed everyday!", i am going to clock you.
love, vicki
p.s. new york has enough crazy people as it is.
posted by vic
@ 05:12
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first of all, i feel like a big fucking dick cause i had no idea it was mike ray's birthday. but happy birthday, mike, i love you severely. god bless.
on a heavier note... i talked to vicki tonight, thank god, i'm really fucking glad that happened or i wouldn't be sure how to feel when i wake up. (and sure, that's fucking pathetic, but to those of you who know me, no need to be surprised. i'm going back to chicago tomorrow, to vicki's house, away from here, anywhere, i need to speak with kathy about all of this, things are no good for me here, i'm finally able to admit where i'm at, it disgusts me. but whatever it is, i need to be away from here, at least while i talk to kathy, because when i talk to her here i sort of brush things off, tell myself i'll get over them when i talk to her next week, never works out that way. anyway, i'll save the rest of this for the therapist.
it's really fucking hard. walking around here the past hour, everything looks different. thank you so much for talking to me tonight, vic. you have no idea.
"do you really think she'll pull through?"
- girlfriend in a coma, the smiths!
posted by marisa jo
@ 03:40
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